War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy
CHAPTER XIX
726 words | Chapter 355
There was nothing in Pierre’s soul now at all like what had troubled it
during his courtship of Hélène.
He did not repeat to himself with a sickening feeling of shame the words
he had spoken, or say: “Oh, why did I not say that?” and, “Whatever made
me say ‘Je vous aime’?” On the contrary, he now repeated in imagination
every word that he or Natásha had spoken and pictured every detail of
her face and smile, and did not wish to diminish or add anything, but
only to repeat it again and again. There was now not a shadow of doubt
in his mind as to whether what he had undertaken was right or wrong.
Only one terrible doubt sometimes crossed his mind: “Wasn’t it all
a dream? Isn’t Princess Mary mistaken? Am I not too conceited and
self-confident? I believe all this—and suddenly Princess Mary will tell
her, and she will be sure to smile and say: ‘How strange! He must be
deluding himself. Doesn’t he know that he is a man, just a man, while
I...? I am something altogether different and higher.’”
That was the only doubt often troubling Pierre. He did not now make any
plans. The happiness before him appeared so inconceivable that if only
he could attain it, it would be the end of all things. Everything ended
with that.
A joyful, unexpected frenzy, of which he had thought himself incapable,
possessed him. The whole meaning of life—not for him alone but for the
whole world—seemed to him centered in his love and the possibility of
being loved by her. At times everybody seemed to him to be occupied with
one thing only—his future happiness. Sometimes it seemed to him that
other people were all as pleased as he was himself and merely tried to
hide that pleasure by pretending to be busy with other interests. In
every word and gesture he saw allusions to his happiness. He often
surprised those he met by his significantly happy looks and smiles which
seemed to express a secret understanding between him and them. And when
he realized that people might not be aware of his happiness, he pitied
them with his whole heart and felt a desire somehow to explain to them
that all that occupied them was a mere frivolous trifle unworthy of
attention.
When it was suggested to him that he should enter the civil service,
or when the war or any general political affairs were discussed on the
assumption that everybody’s welfare depended on this or that issue
of events, he would listen with a mild and pitying smile and surprise
people by his strange comments. But at this time he saw everybody—both
those who, as he imagined, understood the real meaning of life (that
is, what he was feeling) and those unfortunates who evidently did not
understand it—in the bright light of the emotion that shone within
himself, and at once without any effort saw in everyone he met
everything that was good and worthy of being loved.
When dealing with the affairs and papers of his dead wife, her memory
aroused in him no feeling but pity that she had not known the bliss he
now knew. Prince Vasíli, who having obtained a new post and some
fresh decorations was particularly proud at this time, seemed to him a
pathetic, kindly old man much to be pitied.
Often in afterlife Pierre recalled this period of blissful insanity. All
the views he formed of men and circumstances at this time remained true
for him always. He not only did not renounce them subsequently, but when
he was in doubt or inwardly at variance, he referred to the views he had
held at this time of his madness and they always proved correct.
“I may have appeared strange and queer then,” he thought, “but I was
not so mad as I seemed. On the contrary I was then wiser and had
more insight than at any other time, and understood all that is worth
understanding in life, because... because I was happy.”
Pierre’s insanity consisted in not waiting, as he used to do, to
discover personal attributes which he termed “good qualities” in people
before loving them; his heart was now overflowing with love, and by
loving people without cause he discovered indubitable causes for loving
them.
Chapters
1. Chapter 1
2. CHAPTER XXVIII
3. CHAPTER XXI
4. CHAPTER XIX
5. CHAPTER XVI
6. CHAPTER XXII
7. CHAPTER XXVI
8. CHAPTER XIII
9. CHAPTER XXII
10. CHAPTER XXIII
11. CHAPTER XXXIX
12. CHAPTER XXXIV
13. CHAPTER XVI
14. CHAPTER XIX
15. CHAPTER XIX
16. CHAPTER XX
17. CHAPTER XVI
18. CHAPTER XII
19. CHAPTER I
20. CHAPTER II
21. CHAPTER III
22. CHAPTER IV
23. CHAPTER V
24. CHAPTER VI
25. CHAPTER VII
26. CHAPTER VIII
27. CHAPTER IX
28. CHAPTER X
29. CHAPTER XI
30. CHAPTER XII
31. CHAPTER XIII
32. CHAPTER XIV
33. CHAPTER XV
34. CHAPTER XVI
35. CHAPTER XVII
36. CHAPTER XVIII
37. CHAPTER XIX
38. CHAPTER XX
39. CHAPTER XXI
40. CHAPTER XXII
41. CHAPTER XXIII
42. CHAPTER XXIV
43. CHAPTER XXV
44. CHAPTER XXVI
45. CHAPTER XXVII
46. CHAPTER XXVIII
47. CHAPTER I
48. CHAPTER II
49. CHAPTER III
50. CHAPTER IV
51. CHAPTER V
52. CHAPTER VI
53. CHAPTER VII
54. CHAPTER VIII
55. CHAPTER IX
56. CHAPTER X
57. CHAPTER XI
58. CHAPTER XII
59. CHAPTER XIII
60. CHAPTER XIV
61. CHAPTER XV
62. CHAPTER XVI
63. CHAPTER XVII
64. CHAPTER XVIII
65. CHAPTER XIX
66. CHAPTER XX
67. CHAPTER XXI
68. CHAPTER I
69. CHAPTER II
70. CHAPTER III
71. CHAPTER IV
72. CHAPTER V
73. CHAPTER VI
74. CHAPTER VII
75. CHAPTER VIII
76. CHAPTER IX
77. CHAPTER X
78. CHAPTER XI
79. CHAPTER XII
80. CHAPTER XIII
81. CHAPTER XIV
82. CHAPTER XV
83. CHAPTER XVI
84. CHAPTER XVII
85. CHAPTER XVIII
86. CHAPTER XIX
87. CHAPTER I
88. CHAPTER II
89. CHAPTER III
90. CHAPTER IV
91. CHAPTER V
92. CHAPTER VI
93. CHAPTER VII
94. CHAPTER VIII
95. CHAPTER IX
96. CHAPTER X
97. CHAPTER XI
98. CHAPTER XII
99. CHAPTER XIII
100. CHAPTER XIV
101. CHAPTER XV
102. CHAPTER XVI
103. CHAPTER I
104. CHAPTER II
105. CHAPTER III
106. 1. Discretion, the keeping of the secrets of the Order. 2. Obedience to
107. CHAPTER IV
108. CHAPTER V
109. CHAPTER VI
110. CHAPTER VII
111. CHAPTER VIII
112. CHAPTER IX
113. CHAPTER X
114. CHAPTER XI
115. CHAPTER XII
116. CHAPTER XIII
117. CHAPTER XIV
118. CHAPTER XV
119. CHAPTER XVI
120. CHAPTER XVII
121. CHAPTER XVIII
122. CHAPTER XIX
123. CHAPTER XX
124. CHAPTER XXI
125. CHAPTER XXII
126. CHAPTER I
127. CHAPTER II
128. CHAPTER III
129. CHAPTER IV
130. CHAPTER V
131. CHAPTER VI
132. CHAPTER VII
133. CHAPTER VIII
134. CHAPTER IX
135. CHAPTER X
136. CHAPTER XI
137. CHAPTER XII
138. CHAPTER XIII
139. CHAPTER XIV
140. CHAPTER XV
141. CHAPTER XVI
142. CHAPTER XVII
143. CHAPTER XVIII
144. CHAPTER XIX
145. CHAPTER XX
146. CHAPTER XXI
147. CHAPTER XXII
148. CHAPTER XXIII
149. CHAPTER XXIV
150. CHAPTER XXV
151. CHAPTER XXVI
152. CHAPTER I
153. CHAPTER II
154. CHAPTER III
155. CHAPTER IV
156. CHAPTER V
157. CHAPTER VI
158. CHAPTER VII
159. CHAPTER VIII
160. CHAPTER IX
161. CHAPTER X
162. CHAPTER XI
163. CHAPTER XII
164. CHAPTER XIII
165. CHAPTER I
166. CHAPTER II
167. CHAPTER III
168. CHAPTER IV
169. CHAPTER V
170. CHAPTER VI
171. CHAPTER VII
172. CHAPTER VIII
173. CHAPTER IX
174. CHAPTER X
175. CHAPTER XI
176. CHAPTER XII
177. CHAPTER XIII
178. CHAPTER XIV
179. CHAPTER XV
180. CHAPTER XVI
181. CHAPTER XVII
182. CHAPTER XVIII
183. CHAPTER XIX
184. CHAPTER XX
185. CHAPTER XXI
186. CHAPTER XXII
187. CHAPTER I
188. CHAPTER II
189. CHAPTER III
190. CHAPTER IV
191. CHAPTER V
192. CHAPTER VI
193. CHAPTER VII
194. CHAPTER VIII
195. CHAPTER IX
196. CHAPTER X
197. CHAPTER XI
198. CHAPTER XII
199. CHAPTER XIII
200. CHAPTER XIV
201. CHAPTER XV
202. CHAPTER XVI
203. CHAPTER XVII
204. CHAPTER XVIII
205. CHAPTER XIX
206. CHAPTER XX
207. CHAPTER XXI
208. CHAPTER XXII
209. CHAPTER XXIII
210. CHAPTER I
211. CHAPTER II
212. CHAPTER III
213. CHAPTER IV
214. CHAPTER V
215. CHAPTER VI
216. CHAPTER VII
217. CHAPTER VIII
218. CHAPTER IX
219. CHAPTER X
220. CHAPTER XI
221. CHAPTER XII
222. CHAPTER XIII
223. CHAPTER XIV
224. CHAPTER XV
225. CHAPTER XVI
226. CHAPTER XVII
227. CHAPTER XVIII
228. CHAPTER XIX
229. CHAPTER XX
230. CHAPTER XXI
231. CHAPTER XXII
232. CHAPTER XXIII
233. CHAPTER XXIV
234. CHAPTER XXV
235. CHAPTER XXVI
236. CHAPTER XXVII
237. CHAPTER XXVIII
238. CHAPTER XXIX
239. CHAPTER XXX
240. CHAPTER XXXI
241. CHAPTER XXXII
242. CHAPTER XXXIII
243. CHAPTER XXXIV
244. CHAPTER XXXV
245. CHAPTER XXXVI
246. CHAPTER XXXVII
247. CHAPTER XXXVIII
248. CHAPTER XXXIX
249. CHAPTER I
250. CHAPTER II
251. CHAPTER III
252. CHAPTER IV
253. CHAPTER V
254. CHAPTER VI
255. CHAPTER VII
256. CHAPTER VIII
257. CHAPTER IX
258. CHAPTER X
259. CHAPTER XI
260. CHAPTER XII
261. CHAPTER XIII
262. CHAPTER XIV
263. CHAPTER XV
264. CHAPTER XVI
265. CHAPTER XVII
266. CHAPTER XVIII
267. CHAPTER XIX
268. CHAPTER XX
269. CHAPTER XXI
270. CHAPTER XXII
271. CHAPTER XXIII
272. CHAPTER XXIV
273. CHAPTER XXV
274. CHAPTER XXVI
275. CHAPTER XXVII
276. CHAPTER XXVIII
277. CHAPTER XXIX
278. CHAPTER XXX
279. CHAPTER XXXI
280. CHAPTER XXXII
281. CHAPTER XXXIII
282. CHAPTER XXXIV
283. CHAPTER I
284. CHAPTER II
285. CHAPTER III
286. CHAPTER IV
287. CHAPTER V
288. CHAPTER VI
289. CHAPTER VII
290. CHAPTER VIII
291. CHAPTER IX
292. CHAPTER X
293. CHAPTER XI
294. CHAPTER XII
295. CHAPTER XIII
296. CHAPTER XIV
297. CHAPTER XV
298. CHAPTER XVI
299. CHAPTER I
300. CHAPTER II
301. CHAPTER III
302. CHAPTER IV
303. CHAPTER V
304. CHAPTER VI
305. CHAPTER VII
306. CHAPTER VIII
307. CHAPTER IX
308. CHAPTER X
309. CHAPTER XI
310. CHAPTER XII
311. CHAPTER XIII
312. CHAPTER XIV
313. CHAPTER XV
314. CHAPTER XVI
315. CHAPTER XVII
316. CHAPTER XVIII
317. CHAPTER XIX
318. CHAPTER I
319. CHAPTER II
320. CHAPTER III
321. CHAPTER IV
322. CHAPTER V
323. CHAPTER VI
324. CHAPTER VII
325. CHAPTER VIII
326. CHAPTER IX
327. CHAPTER X
328. CHAPTER XI
329. CHAPTER XII
330. CHAPTER XIII
331. CHAPTER XIV
332. CHAPTER XV
333. CHAPTER XVI
334. CHAPTER XVII
335. CHAPTER XVIII
336. CHAPTER XIX
337. CHAPTER I
338. CHAPTER II
339. CHAPTER III
340. CHAPTER IV
341. CHAPTER V
342. CHAPTER VI
343. CHAPTER VII
344. CHAPTER VIII
345. CHAPTER IX
346. CHAPTER X
347. CHAPTER XI
348. CHAPTER XII
349. CHAPTER XIII
350. CHAPTER XIV
351. CHAPTER XV
352. CHAPTER XVI
353. CHAPTER XVII
354. CHAPTER XVIII
355. CHAPTER XIX
356. CHAPTER XX
357. CHAPTER I
358. CHAPTER II
359. CHAPTER III
360. CHAPTER IV
361. CHAPTER V
362. CHAPTER VI
363. CHAPTER VII
364. CHAPTER VIII
365. CHAPTER IX
366. CHAPTER X
367. CHAPTER XI
368. CHAPTER XII
369. CHAPTER XIII
370. CHAPTER XIV
371. CHAPTER XV
372. CHAPTER XVI
373. CHAPTER I
374. CHAPTER II
375. CHAPTER III
376. CHAPTER IV
377. CHAPTER V
378. CHAPTER VI
379. CHAPTER VII
380. CHAPTER VIII
381. CHAPTER IX
382. CHAPTER X
383. CHAPTER XI
384. CHAPTER XII
Reading Tips
Use arrow keys to navigate
Press 'N' for next chapter
Press 'P' for previous chapter