War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy

CHAPTER XII

932 words | Chapter 137

Natásha was sixteen and it was the year 1809, the very year to which she had counted on her fingers with Borís after they had kissed four years ago. Since then she had not seen him. Before Sónya and her mother, if Borís happened to be mentioned, she spoke quite freely of that episode as of some childish, long-forgotten matter that was not worth mentioning. But in the secret depths of her soul the question whether her engagement to Borís was a jest or an important, binding promise tormented her. Since Borís left Moscow in 1805 to join the army he had not seen the Rostóvs. He had been in Moscow several times, and had passed near Otrádnoe, but had never been to see them. Sometimes it occurred to Natásha that he did not wish to see her, and this conjecture was confirmed by the sad tone in which her elders spoke of him. “Nowadays old friends are not remembered,” the countess would say when Borís was mentioned. Anna Mikháylovna also had of late visited them less frequently, seemed to hold herself with particular dignity, and always spoke rapturously and gratefully of the merits of her son and the brilliant career on which he had entered. When the Rostóvs came to Petersburg Borís called on them. He drove to their house in some agitation. The memory of Natásha was his most poetic recollection. But he went with the firm intention of letting her and her parents feel that the childish relations between himself and Natásha could not be binding either on her or on him. He had a brilliant position in society thanks to his intimacy with Countess Bezúkhova, a brilliant position in the service thanks to the patronage of an important personage whose complete confidence he enjoyed, and he was beginning to make plans for marrying one of the richest heiresses in Petersburg, plans which might very easily be realized. When he entered the Rostóvs’ drawing room Natásha was in her own room. When she heard of his arrival she almost ran into the drawing room, flushed and beaming with a more than cordial smile. Borís remembered Natásha in a short dress, with dark eyes shining from under her curls and boisterous, childish laughter, as he had known her four years before; and so he was taken aback when quite a different Natásha entered, and his face expressed rapturous astonishment. This expression on his face pleased Natásha. “Well, do you recognize your little madcap playmate?” asked the countess. Borís kissed Natásha’s hand and said that he was astonished at the change in her. “How handsome you have grown!” “I should think so!” replied Natásha’s laughing eyes. “And is Papa older?” she asked. Natásha sat down and, without joining in Borís’ conversation with the countess, silently and minutely studied her childhood’s suitor. He felt the weight of that resolute and affectionate scrutiny and glanced at her occasionally. Borís’ uniform, spurs, tie, and the way his hair was brushed were all comme il faut and in the latest fashion. This Natásha noticed at once. He sat rather sideways in the armchair next to the countess, arranging with his right hand the cleanest of gloves that fitted his left hand like a skin, and he spoke with a particularly refined compression of his lips about the amusements of the highest Petersburg society, recalling with mild irony old times in Moscow and Moscow acquaintances. It was not accidentally, Natásha felt, that he alluded, when speaking of the highest aristocracy, to an ambassador’s ball he had attended, and to invitations he had received from N.N. and S.S. All this time Natásha sat silent, glancing up at him from under her brows. This gaze disturbed and confused Borís more and more. He looked round more frequently toward her, and broke off in what he was saying. He did not stay more than ten minutes, then rose and took his leave. The same inquisitive, challenging, and rather mocking eyes still looked at him. After his first visit Borís said to himself that Natásha attracted him just as much as ever, but that he must not yield to that feeling, because to marry her, a girl almost without fortune, would mean ruin to his career, while to renew their former relations without intending to marry her would be dishonorable. Borís made up his mind to avoid meeting Natásha, but despite that resolution he called again a few days later and began calling often and spending whole days at the Rostóvs’. It seemed to him that he ought to have an explanation with Natásha and tell her that the old times must be forgotten, that in spite of everything... she could not be his wife, that he had no means, and they would never let her marry him. But he failed to do so and felt awkward about entering on such an explanation. From day to day he became more and more entangled. It seemed to her mother and Sónya that Natásha was in love with Borís as of old. She sang him his favorite songs, showed him her album, making him write in it, did not allow him to allude to the past, letting it be understood how delightful was the present; and every day he went away in a fog, without having said what he meant to, and not knowing what he was doing or why he came, or how it would all end. He left off visiting Hélène and received reproachful notes from her every day, and yet he continued to spend whole days with the Rostóvs.

Chapters

1. Chapter 1 2. CHAPTER XXVIII 3. CHAPTER XXI 4. CHAPTER XIX 5. CHAPTER XVI 6. CHAPTER XXII 7. CHAPTER XXVI 8. CHAPTER XIII 9. CHAPTER XXII 10. CHAPTER XXIII 11. CHAPTER XXXIX 12. CHAPTER XXXIV 13. CHAPTER XVI 14. CHAPTER XIX 15. CHAPTER XIX 16. CHAPTER XX 17. CHAPTER XVI 18. CHAPTER XII 19. CHAPTER I 20. CHAPTER II 21. CHAPTER III 22. CHAPTER IV 23. CHAPTER V 24. CHAPTER VI 25. CHAPTER VII 26. CHAPTER VIII 27. CHAPTER IX 28. CHAPTER X 29. CHAPTER XI 30. CHAPTER XII 31. CHAPTER XIII 32. CHAPTER XIV 33. CHAPTER XV 34. CHAPTER XVI 35. CHAPTER XVII 36. CHAPTER XVIII 37. CHAPTER XIX 38. CHAPTER XX 39. CHAPTER XXI 40. CHAPTER XXII 41. CHAPTER XXIII 42. CHAPTER XXIV 43. CHAPTER XXV 44. CHAPTER XXVI 45. CHAPTER XXVII 46. CHAPTER XXVIII 47. CHAPTER I 48. CHAPTER II 49. CHAPTER III 50. CHAPTER IV 51. CHAPTER V 52. CHAPTER VI 53. CHAPTER VII 54. CHAPTER VIII 55. CHAPTER IX 56. CHAPTER X 57. CHAPTER XI 58. CHAPTER XII 59. CHAPTER XIII 60. CHAPTER XIV 61. CHAPTER XV 62. CHAPTER XVI 63. CHAPTER XVII 64. CHAPTER XVIII 65. CHAPTER XIX 66. CHAPTER XX 67. CHAPTER XXI 68. CHAPTER I 69. CHAPTER II 70. CHAPTER III 71. CHAPTER IV 72. CHAPTER V 73. CHAPTER VI 74. CHAPTER VII 75. CHAPTER VIII 76. CHAPTER IX 77. CHAPTER X 78. CHAPTER XI 79. CHAPTER XII 80. CHAPTER XIII 81. CHAPTER XIV 82. CHAPTER XV 83. CHAPTER XVI 84. CHAPTER XVII 85. CHAPTER XVIII 86. CHAPTER XIX 87. CHAPTER I 88. CHAPTER II 89. CHAPTER III 90. CHAPTER IV 91. CHAPTER V 92. CHAPTER VI 93. CHAPTER VII 94. CHAPTER VIII 95. CHAPTER IX 96. CHAPTER X 97. CHAPTER XI 98. CHAPTER XII 99. CHAPTER XIII 100. CHAPTER XIV 101. CHAPTER XV 102. CHAPTER XVI 103. CHAPTER I 104. CHAPTER II 105. CHAPTER III 106. 1. Discretion, the keeping of the secrets of the Order. 2. Obedience to 107. CHAPTER IV 108. CHAPTER V 109. CHAPTER VI 110. CHAPTER VII 111. CHAPTER VIII 112. CHAPTER IX 113. CHAPTER X 114. CHAPTER XI 115. CHAPTER XII 116. CHAPTER XIII 117. CHAPTER XIV 118. CHAPTER XV 119. CHAPTER XVI 120. CHAPTER XVII 121. CHAPTER XVIII 122. CHAPTER XIX 123. CHAPTER XX 124. CHAPTER XXI 125. CHAPTER XXII 126. CHAPTER I 127. CHAPTER II 128. CHAPTER III 129. CHAPTER IV 130. CHAPTER V 131. CHAPTER VI 132. CHAPTER VII 133. CHAPTER VIII 134. CHAPTER IX 135. CHAPTER X 136. CHAPTER XI 137. CHAPTER XII 138. CHAPTER XIII 139. CHAPTER XIV 140. CHAPTER XV 141. CHAPTER XVI 142. CHAPTER XVII 143. CHAPTER XVIII 144. CHAPTER XIX 145. CHAPTER XX 146. CHAPTER XXI 147. CHAPTER XXII 148. CHAPTER XXIII 149. CHAPTER XXIV 150. CHAPTER XXV 151. CHAPTER XXVI 152. CHAPTER I 153. CHAPTER II 154. CHAPTER III 155. CHAPTER IV 156. CHAPTER V 157. CHAPTER VI 158. CHAPTER VII 159. CHAPTER VIII 160. CHAPTER IX 161. CHAPTER X 162. CHAPTER XI 163. CHAPTER XII 164. CHAPTER XIII 165. CHAPTER I 166. CHAPTER II 167. CHAPTER III 168. CHAPTER IV 169. CHAPTER V 170. CHAPTER VI 171. CHAPTER VII 172. CHAPTER VIII 173. CHAPTER IX 174. CHAPTER X 175. CHAPTER XI 176. CHAPTER XII 177. CHAPTER XIII 178. CHAPTER XIV 179. CHAPTER XV 180. CHAPTER XVI 181. CHAPTER XVII 182. CHAPTER XVIII 183. CHAPTER XIX 184. CHAPTER XX 185. CHAPTER XXI 186. CHAPTER XXII 187. CHAPTER I 188. CHAPTER II 189. CHAPTER III 190. CHAPTER IV 191. CHAPTER V 192. CHAPTER VI 193. CHAPTER VII 194. CHAPTER VIII 195. CHAPTER IX 196. CHAPTER X 197. CHAPTER XI 198. CHAPTER XII 199. CHAPTER XIII 200. CHAPTER XIV 201. CHAPTER XV 202. CHAPTER XVI 203. CHAPTER XVII 204. CHAPTER XVIII 205. CHAPTER XIX 206. CHAPTER XX 207. CHAPTER XXI 208. CHAPTER XXII 209. CHAPTER XXIII 210. CHAPTER I 211. CHAPTER II 212. CHAPTER III 213. CHAPTER IV 214. CHAPTER V 215. CHAPTER VI 216. CHAPTER VII 217. CHAPTER VIII 218. CHAPTER IX 219. CHAPTER X 220. CHAPTER XI 221. CHAPTER XII 222. CHAPTER XIII 223. CHAPTER XIV 224. CHAPTER XV 225. CHAPTER XVI 226. CHAPTER XVII 227. CHAPTER XVIII 228. CHAPTER XIX 229. CHAPTER XX 230. CHAPTER XXI 231. CHAPTER XXII 232. CHAPTER XXIII 233. CHAPTER XXIV 234. CHAPTER XXV 235. CHAPTER XXVI 236. CHAPTER XXVII 237. CHAPTER XXVIII 238. CHAPTER XXIX 239. CHAPTER XXX 240. CHAPTER XXXI 241. CHAPTER XXXII 242. CHAPTER XXXIII 243. CHAPTER XXXIV 244. CHAPTER XXXV 245. CHAPTER XXXVI 246. CHAPTER XXXVII 247. CHAPTER XXXVIII 248. CHAPTER XXXIX 249. CHAPTER I 250. CHAPTER II 251. CHAPTER III 252. CHAPTER IV 253. CHAPTER V 254. CHAPTER VI 255. CHAPTER VII 256. CHAPTER VIII 257. CHAPTER IX 258. CHAPTER X 259. CHAPTER XI 260. CHAPTER XII 261. CHAPTER XIII 262. CHAPTER XIV 263. CHAPTER XV 264. CHAPTER XVI 265. CHAPTER XVII 266. CHAPTER XVIII 267. CHAPTER XIX 268. CHAPTER XX 269. CHAPTER XXI 270. CHAPTER XXII 271. CHAPTER XXIII 272. CHAPTER XXIV 273. CHAPTER XXV 274. CHAPTER XXVI 275. CHAPTER XXVII 276. CHAPTER XXVIII 277. CHAPTER XXIX 278. CHAPTER XXX 279. CHAPTER XXXI 280. CHAPTER XXXII 281. CHAPTER XXXIII 282. CHAPTER XXXIV 283. CHAPTER I 284. CHAPTER II 285. CHAPTER III 286. CHAPTER IV 287. CHAPTER V 288. CHAPTER VI 289. CHAPTER VII 290. CHAPTER VIII 291. CHAPTER IX 292. CHAPTER X 293. CHAPTER XI 294. CHAPTER XII 295. CHAPTER XIII 296. CHAPTER XIV 297. CHAPTER XV 298. CHAPTER XVI 299. CHAPTER I 300. CHAPTER II 301. CHAPTER III 302. CHAPTER IV 303. CHAPTER V 304. CHAPTER VI 305. CHAPTER VII 306. CHAPTER VIII 307. CHAPTER IX 308. CHAPTER X 309. CHAPTER XI 310. CHAPTER XII 311. CHAPTER XIII 312. CHAPTER XIV 313. CHAPTER XV 314. CHAPTER XVI 315. CHAPTER XVII 316. CHAPTER XVIII 317. CHAPTER XIX 318. CHAPTER I 319. CHAPTER II 320. CHAPTER III 321. CHAPTER IV 322. CHAPTER V 323. CHAPTER VI 324. CHAPTER VII 325. CHAPTER VIII 326. CHAPTER IX 327. CHAPTER X 328. CHAPTER XI 329. CHAPTER XII 330. CHAPTER XIII 331. CHAPTER XIV 332. CHAPTER XV 333. CHAPTER XVI 334. CHAPTER XVII 335. CHAPTER XVIII 336. CHAPTER XIX 337. CHAPTER I 338. CHAPTER II 339. CHAPTER III 340. CHAPTER IV 341. CHAPTER V 342. CHAPTER VI 343. CHAPTER VII 344. CHAPTER VIII 345. CHAPTER IX 346. CHAPTER X 347. CHAPTER XI 348. CHAPTER XII 349. CHAPTER XIII 350. CHAPTER XIV 351. CHAPTER XV 352. CHAPTER XVI 353. CHAPTER XVII 354. CHAPTER XVIII 355. CHAPTER XIX 356. CHAPTER XX 357. CHAPTER I 358. CHAPTER II 359. CHAPTER III 360. CHAPTER IV 361. CHAPTER V 362. CHAPTER VI 363. CHAPTER VII 364. CHAPTER VIII 365. CHAPTER IX 366. CHAPTER X 367. CHAPTER XI 368. CHAPTER XII 369. CHAPTER XIII 370. CHAPTER XIV 371. CHAPTER XV 372. CHAPTER XVI 373. CHAPTER I 374. CHAPTER II 375. CHAPTER III 376. CHAPTER IV 377. CHAPTER V 378. CHAPTER VI 379. CHAPTER VII 380. CHAPTER VIII 381. CHAPTER IX 382. CHAPTER X 383. CHAPTER XI 384. CHAPTER XII

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