1665. In the “Pillulæ Pestilentialis” of the Rev. Richard Hingston,

preacher, of St James’s, Clerkenwell, there is the following in reference to the Plague and the practice just mentioned:-- No Papers then o’er our Doors were set With “Chambers ready furnished to be Let,” But a sad “Lord have Mercy upon us” and A bloody Cross as fatal Marks did stand. At the end of a pamphlet, printed in 1673, entitled “An Essay to revive the Ancient Education of Gentlewomen, in Religion, Manners, and Tongues,” there is a postscript, containing an advertisement of a boarding school at Tottenham High Cross. This establishment was under the management of Mrs Makin, who had been tutoress to the Princess Elizabeth, daughter of Charles I., and who put forth part of her prospectus in the following manner:-- Here by the blessing of God, Gentlewomen may be instructed in the principles of Religion, and in all manner of sober and virtuous Education: more especially in all Things ordinarily taught in Schools for the other Sex; as in Works of all sorts, Dancing, Music, Singing, Writing, Keeping Accounts. Half the Time is to be spent in these Things, and the other half to be employed in gaining the Latin and French Tongues, and those that please may learn Greek and Hebrew, the Italian and Spanish; in all which this Gentlewoman hath a competent knowledge. Gentlewomen of eight or nine Years old, that can read well, may be instructed in a Year or two (according to their Parts) in the Latin and French Tongues, by plain and short Rules accommodated to the English Tongue. Those that will bestow a longer Time may learn the other Languages before mentioned, if they please. Repositories also for Visibles shall be prepared, by which from beholding the things, Gentlewomen may learn the Names, Natures, Values, and Uses of Herbs, Shrubs, Trees, mineral Juices, Metals and Stones. Those that please may learn Limning, Preserving, Pastry, and Cookery, etc. The rate shall be certain £20 per Annum; but if a competent improvement be made in the Tongues, and the other Things before mentioned, as shall be agreed upon them, something more will be expected. But the Parents shall judge what shall be deserved by the Undertaker. Sterne, who knew as much about struggles and adversity as most people, used to tell this story about his young days: “I happened to be acquainted with a young man from Yorkshire, who rented a window in one of the paved alleys near Cornhill, for the sale of stationery. I hired one of the panes of glass from my friend, and stuck up the following advertisement with wafers:-- Epigrams, Anagrams, Paragrams, Chronograms, Monograms, Epitaphs, Epithalamiums, Prologues, Epilogues, Madrigals, Interludes, Advertisements, Letters, Petitions, Memorials, on every occasion, Essays on every subject, Pamphlets for and against Ministers, Sermons upon any Text or for any Sect, to be written here, on reasonable terms, by A. B. Philologer. “The uncommonness of the titles occasioned numerous applications, and at night I used privately to glide into the office to digest the notes or heads of the day, and receive the earnest which was directed always to be left with the memorandums, the writing to be paid for on delivery, according to the subject.” Yorick speedily became disgusted with this employment, however, and as soon as he possibly could retired from it. Another of the triumphs which have unfortunately not come down to the present generation, and which many will consider to be hardly compensated for by gas, steam, and electricity, the postal service and the police system, is that of Mr Nunn, whose bill, published to the world in the latter portion of the eighteenth century, runs thus:-- _Breeches Making improved by Geometry._ _Thomas Nunn_, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish Square, has invented a System on a mathematical Principle, by which Difficulties are solved, and Errors corrected; its usefulness for Ease and Neatness in fitting is incomparable, and is the only perfect Rule for that Work ever discovered. Several hundreds (Noblemen, Gentlemen, and Others) who have had Proof of its Utility, allow it to excel all they ever made Trial of. _N.B._ An approved Method is adopted for keeping them clean without discommoding by Dust. In some future day, when personal comfort again becomes one of the fine arts, one of the chief tests for a wranglership may be the making of mathematical breeches. If the age is very material, perhaps the approved method of cleaning them may stand in stead of classics, which are already going much out of fashion. Our next specimen comes from the Emerald Isle, and though short is well marked with both of the most prominent characteristics of the natives. It was given away and posted up in various parts of Dublin at the end of July 1781:-- This is to certify that I, Daniel O’Flannaghan, am not the Person that was tarred and feathered by the Liberty Mob, on Tuesday last; and I am ready to give 20 Guineas to any one that will lay me 50, that I am the other Man who goes by my Name. Witness my Hand, this 30th July. DANIEL O’FLANNAGHAN. A man who can afford to lay seventy guineas to thirty that he is himself, and nobody else, deserves credit for his boldness, if not for his ingenuity. Another bill from Ireland, of a few years later on, next claims our attention. It refers to a house to let in Coleraine, and is a specimen of quite another kind of Hibernian humour:-- _To be Let_ To an OPPIDAN, a RURICOLIST, or a COSMOPOLITAN, and may be entered upon immediately. The House in STONE ROW, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid verbosity the proprietor with compendiosity will give a perfunctory description of the premises, in the compagination of which he has sedulously studied the convenience of the occupant--it is free from opacity, tenebrosity, fumidity, and injucundity, and no building can have greater pellucidity or translucency--in short, its diaphaneity even in the crepuscule makes it like a pharos, and without laud, for its agglutimation and amenity, it is a most delectable commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the neighbours have none of the truculence, the immanity, the torvity, the spinosity, the putidness, the pugnacity, nor the fugacity observable in other parts of the town; their propinquity and consanguinity occasions jucundity and pudicity--from which, and the redolence of the place (even in the dog days) they are remarkable for longevity. For terms and particulars apply to JAMES HUTCHISON, opposite the MARKET HOUSE. _Coleraine, 30th September, 1790._ We commend this to that rather numerous class of people who like words with plenty of sound, and regard sense as quite a secondary consideration. Dogberry would have been delighted with it, and the writer could have commanded his own price as a contributor to certain newspapers, or as a sporting tipster. We have already given our readers an advertising tombstone, which was a swindle, inasmuch as it was placed up to the memory of a person who never existed. We now give another, which is really what it pretends to be--an improvement of the opportunity to combine business, not with pleasure, but with mourning. It stood, we are told, in a burial-ground belonging to one of our old ivy-clad churches in the North, and was an elegantly-carved memorial stone, the inscription being:-- Sacred to the Memory of JOHN ROBERTS, Stonemason and Tombcutter, Who died on Saturday, October the 8th, 1800. N.B.--The business carried on by the Widow at No. 1, Freshfield place. [Illustration: HERE LYES JEREMY JOBBINS AN AFFECTIONATE HUSBAND AND A TENDER PARENT HIS·DISCONSOLATE·WIDOW IN·THE·HOPE·OF·A·BETTER·MEATING CONTINUES TO CARRY ON THE LONG ESTABLISHED TRIPE AND TROTTER BUSINESS AT·THE·SAME·PLACE AS BEFORE HER LAMENTED BEREAVEMENT READER·PAUSE·&·NOTICE THE·ADDRESS ] Perhaps her being in the “tombstone line” may be an excuse for the widow Roberts. We don’t suppose she needed one, however, for any one who would do what she did would be quite callous as to the world’s opinions. Of the two we much prefer the Frenchman who erected the stone to an entirely supposititious person, to the widow who traded on her husband’s grave. This reminds us that we have received, among many communications, one containing the above sketch of an advertising tombstone, which the writer, who dates from a well-known town in the north, Gateshead, states positively stood in a neighbouring churchyard within his recollection. The address, he says, was on the footstone. We give the illustration “without prejudice.” Do tripe and trotters after all produce a prosaic condition of the human mind suggested by this tombstone, or would the relict of Jeremy have done as she did had her wares been of a different kind? In the interests of the edibles referred to, for which we must confess a weakness, we trust she would. But who shall say? At the time of the marriage of George the Third’s eldest daughter to the Duke of Wurtemburg, a curious little handbill was given away about London. It was printed on both sides, and looked like a tract. Its contents were to the following effect:-- FRAGMENT _of a_ CHAPTER _concerning the curious_ MANGLE of BEETHAM _appointed to be read by all the_ LADIES _and_ LAUNDRESSES _of the land of Albion_. _By His Majesty’s special command._ CHAP. I. _1 Beetham’s fame and diligence. 3 his marvellous mill. 6 he constructs a mangle which surprises the World. 8 The Princesses visit his museum and praise the curious Machinery. 16 He is mimiced by others. 18 The King grants his royal patent to the Artist. 22 Beetham is recompensed by the nobles and the people._ NOW it came to pass, even towards the close of the eighteenth century, that there lived in the great city which is called London a certain man of the name of Beetham who had many curious inventions. 2 The same mechanic while the world waged war against _Albion_ cultivated with all diligence the arts of Peace in the ways of wisdom. 3 When therefore he saw that his washing mill pleased the people and was daily employed by all throughout the regions of Britain and her colonies. 4 Behold he also constructed another machine more marvellous than the first which is called a _Mangle_ even to this day. 5 Neither adhered he to the old gothic plan of his predecessors but formed it new and surprising in simplicity so that a little maiden could set it in motion. 6 And it came to pass when a great company of ladies and laundresses beheld the infant turn the wheel with wonderful ease and moreover saw the wheel move backwards as well as the way of the wheel whose revolution was always the same and also saw it move as by self instinct. 7 That they cried aloud with one voice saying, great and marvellous is the _Mangle_ of _Beetham_. 8 And in process of time, the princesses and the nobles accompanied a certain great prince who came from a far country to carry away a royal beauty, even the eldest daughter of the King. 9 And behold as they passed on their way to view the wonders of the great temple of _Paul_, one of the damsels lifted up her azure eyes and beheld the Museum of _Beetham_ fronting the temple of _Dunstan_. 10 At that instant the child was turning the wonderful _Mill_ which laved the fine linen clean and white in the twinkling of an eye; 11 Also another child by its feeble arm was moving the newly invented _Mangle_. 12 And lo, one of the nobles cried, wherefore should we pass on further into the city, let us step aside and see this miracle. 13 Now it came to pass that the company alighted from their gilded chariots and went into the _Museum_, and marvelled much at the curious machines. 14 And when they saw the _Mill_ and the _Mangle_, the _Wringer_ also, and the machine for the _Churning_ of _Milk_, which even _Solomon_ with all his wisdom never invented. 15 They all with one accord commanded the master of the Museum to prepare for the _Princess_ one of each of these curious machines; to the end she might spread the fame of the inventor all over the land, in which she was soon to be a sojourner. 16 ¶ Now--the _Mimic Machinists_ of those days by their enchantments strove to surpass _Beetham_, but failed by falling into the great _chaos_ of complication: 17 So that, like the builders of Babel they were confounded; crying aloud, surely all machination against Beetham must fail, neither can we imitate the simplicity of his Mangle. 18 And word was carried to the King in those days, even concerning the new invention of the artist of London. 19 Which prevailed upon him when he also heard of the utility of the _Mangle_ in tender kindness to all the laundresses of the land to cause his Royal signet to be set on a certain parchment called a patent. 20 So that until twice seven seasons should pass no man should imitate the machine but by the consent of _Beetham_ the Proprietor thereof. 21 And when the King had so done, lo there was prepared many machines of various sizes in order that the high and the low, the rich and the poor, might use the same throughout the land, but Beetham was the vender of them all. 22 And for those which the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the Land did cause to be sent to them which were made of Oak whose duration shall far exceed the years of the generations of the sons of men and which were for smoothing all the linen of the Households of the mighty nobles, Beetham received certain pieces of money which being counted in the coin of Albion amounted to Ten guineas. 23 And for such as were made of the wood called Beech he received nine pieces of gold and for others eight pieces of the like coin, but for less than eight pieces Beetham sent not the _Mangle_ forth among the inhabitants of the land. 24 And behold all the people rejoiced extremely and the fame of the Mangle was spread abroad among all the isles of Britain even to the remotest part thereof; and the ships of the sea were laden with the same machines to the Colonies abroad, and in all those parts of the Earth where Economy is an object, where Convenience is desirable, and where Cleanliness is esteemed next to Godliness. * * * * * _Mr. BEETHAM’s_ NEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILL IS so universally used and Economical, that it deserves the serious attention of the Public in general. 1 It renders the linen whiter and cleaner than it can be made by any other method. 2 It will wash more in one hour than ten women can in the same time. 3 It is so saving, that for Five Shillings it will wash as much as will cost One Guinea in the common mode. 4 The price of the Mill is very soon cleared by what it saves in soap, coals, manual labour and the preservation of the linen. This invaluable invention may be seen from Eleven until Two every day. A Mill large enough to wash 8 shirts 4l. 4s. 14, 4l. 14s. 6d. 18, 5l. 5s. 24, 6l. 6s. One to first and second, 10l. 10s. Wringer, 1l. 1s. This Beetham was the grandfather, on her mother’s side, of Miss Reed, the celebrated old lady of Stamford Street, whose houses were for many years in a notoriously dismantled and dilapidated condition, and who not very long since left a hundred thousand pounds to the Brompton Hospital. Her mother was a pupil of Opie’s, and before she married Mr Reed, a solicitor, some of her pictures were exhibited as those of her master. She late in life became eccentric, but not to such an extent as her daughter, whose name was at one time almost a household word. Another tradesman of the City, who was well known for his devotion to the art of advertising, early in the present century put forth this, which is rather magniloquent, considering the subject which forms its basis:-- MAY THE WINGS OF EXTRAVAGANCE _be clipped by the Scissars of Economy_--was the constant toast of a person who knew very well the value of a sixpence. To all good economists would Romanis wish to be recommended, though but a bad practitioner himself, (he is a little like the clergy--“Don’t do as I do, but as I tell you to do.”) When you want real good Stockings at a low price, come to the Sign of the Regent, 33 in Cheapside--there you have them in perfection, and I am certain sixpence in a pair is worth saving; and any one that is possest of the least spark of parsimony will give their assent. Frugality is certainly a good thing--it enables a people to pay taxes--to pay their armies--to thrash the French--to make peace on good terms--to extend commerce--to make people live long and comfortable: FOR STOCKINGS Romanis against the whole World, at his Mart, 33 Cheapside. From small beginnings great events arise--only see what benefit to the nation as well as to private individuals accrued from the purchase of cheap stockings. Romanis has never been mentioned in conjunction with Wellington, yet he seems to have had a good deal to do towards building up the victory of Waterloo, and ought to have been remembered, say as much as Blucher, who has been immortalised in the way of boots while the stocking-seller has been clean forgotten. Another curious advertiser was William Hall of Lynn, who flourished early in the present century. According to Hone, Hall was a celebrated antiquarian bookseller, and received the alias of Will Will-be-So. He was also an auctioneer, and on the market-day he would knock down his lots in great style, and with many whimsical remarks. He had a craze for verse, and in such as follows all his advertisements were written:-- LYNN, 19_th_ SEPTEMBER, 1810. First Tuesday in the next October, Now do not doubt but we’ll be sober! If Providence permits us action, You may depend upon _AN AUCTION_, At the stall That’s occupied by WILLIAM HALL. To enumerate a task would be-- The best way is to come and see; But not to come too vague an errand, We’ll give a sketch which we will warrant. About _one hundred books_, in due lots, And pretty near the same in _shoe-lasts_; _Coats_, _waistcoats_, _breeches_, shining _buttons_, Perhaps ten thousand _leather cuttings_, Sold at per pound--your lot but ask it, Shall be weighed to you in a basket; Some lot of _tools_ to make a try on, About one hundred-weight of _iron_; _Scales_, _earthenware_, _arm-chairs_, a _tea-urn_, _Tea-chests_, a _herring-tub_, and so on; With various more that’s our intention, Which are too tedious here to mention. N.B.--To undeceive, ’fore you come nigher, The duty charged upon the buyer; And, should we find we’re not perplext, We’ll keep it up the Tuesday next. We have two more specimens of the English peculiar to Continentalists, the first being of about the same period as Hall’s verse. It is an exact copy of a card circulated by the landlord of an hotel at Ghent:-- Mr. Dewitt, in the Golden Apple, out of the Bruges Gate at Ghent, has the honour to prevent the Persons who would come at his house, that they shall find there always good and spacious Lodgings, a Table served at their taste, Wine of any quality, etc. Besides he hires Horses and Chaises, which shall be of a great conveniency for the Travellers; the Bark of Bruges depart and arrives every day before his door. He dares flatter himself, that they shall be satisfied, as well with the cheapness of the price, as with the cares such an establishment requires. This and the next, which was given to the world in 1822, may cause English people who fancy they have the most correct knowledge of French, as well as the true Parisian accent, to be a little cautious in their belief, for there is no doubt that the authors of both notices were very strong on their powers of “spiking the English,” as many French announcements have it:-- M. MARLOTEAU et Cie. _Manufacturers from Paris,_ 37, MONTMORENCY-STREET, _To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford street_. Acquaint the Trade in general, that they have just established in LONDON. A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feathar from hat ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE. And of Manufactures of PARIS, complette sets ornaments for balls, snuff boxes scale gold and silver, boxes toilette, ribbons and embroidered, hat et cap, from Ladies of the newest Taste, China, all sorts, etc. He commit generally the articles from Paris, Manufacturers. And send in all BRITISH CITY. Attandance from Nine o’Clock in the Morning till five in the Afternoon. Before and during the year 1825 a man used to stand at the corner of Fleet Market, and deliver handbills in the interest of a society which had for its object the genteel and comfortable interment of its members. One of these advertisements has been preserved, and a copy of it is appended. Its commencement is curious, and must at times have somewhat disconcerted incautious readers, who in the midst of their business cares or pleasure pursuits suddenly had the notice of death thrust upon them. Sir Thomas Browne, who professed to know all about mortality, says that “man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave.” Whoever drew up the handbill was certainly aware of the craving which exists in many minds, especially among the lower orders, for a good funeral, and made abundant provision for it. Really a _tædium vitæ_ almost creeps over one upon reading it. Who would not be willing to die, in death to be attended as is promised? Two rows all round of close-drove best black japanned nails feelingly invite and almost irresistibly persuade us to come and be screwed down. What aching head can resist the temptation to repose presented by the handsome crape shroud, the cap, and pillow? What sting is there in death which handles with wrought gripes are not calculated to pluck away? What victory in the grave which the drops and the velvet pall do not render at least extremely disputable? And, above all, a pretty emblematic plate, with the angel above and the flower beneath, is utterly irresistible. But we in our rhapsody had forgotten to copy the bill:-- BURIAL SOCIETY. A favourable opportunity now offers to any person, of either sex, who would wish to be buried in a genteel manner, by paying one shilling entrance, and twopence per week for the benefit of the stock. Members to be free in six months. The money to be paid at Mr. Middleton’s at the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market. The deceased to be furnished as follows: a strong elm coffin, covered with superfine black, and finished with two rows, all round, close drove, best black japanned nails, and adorned with ornamental drops, a handsome plate of inscription, angel above, and flower beneath, and four pair of handsome handles, with wrought gripes; the coffin to be well pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a handsome crape shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a handsome velvet pall, three gentlemen’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and six pair of gloves; two porters equipped to attend the funeral, a man to attend the same with band and gloves; also the burial fees paid, if not exceeding one guinea. The notice further informed the public, that though the society had only been established a very few years, upwards of eleven hundred persons had put down their names. It is worthy of remark that so many people of the industrious classes should have clubbed their twopences to avoid what they considered the disgrace of a parish funeral, and should doubtless have rejoiced when their six months had expired, and they stood face to face with the handsome velvet pall and etceteras. The very poor are to this day very particular about their funerals, and many a savoury morsel is the living body deprived of that the lifeless one may go comfortably to its last home. A labouring man’s greatest pride often is that he gave wife, parent, or child a good funeral; and this feeling is perfectly independent of the wake peculiarities and festivities that obtain among a certain section of the lower orders. Readers must be warned against an idea which they may be apt to form about the place whence these proposals issued. From the sign of the “First and Last,” they might conclude that Mr Middleton was a publican who, in assembling a club of the above description at his house, had a view to his own interest altogether foreign to the purpose for which the society was instituted. Mr Middleton was no publican, though he hung out a sign, but an honest undertaker, who also dealt in wicker ware, and who, by the exhibition of both cradle and coffin as a device, attracted attention to which the motto “First and Last” contributed in no small measure. The following humorous handbill was about 1825 given away by a publican in the neighbourhood of the Strand. It is certainly a gem in its way, and shows an originality which was more likely to have been possessed by one of the needy and seedy customers hanging about in the vicinity of the theatres fifty years back, than by the well-fed, well-clad, and probably bumptious “bung,” who ought to have made the writer free of his various entertainments during the long “run” they doubtless obtained if the performance was in any way as good as the programme:-- _Licensed by Act of Parliament._ And under the immediate Patronage of the Public. THEATRE OF EPICUREAN VARIETY at the KING OF PRUSSIA Wych Street. W. Trampton has the honor of informing his friends and the public that his compact comfortable snug and _cosey_ little Theatre is now open for the Winter Season; where from the well known excellence of the company engaged he trusts to meet with a share of that encouragement it will be his endeavour to merit and his pride to acknowledge. A peculiar advantage attending this Theatre will no doubt be justly appreciated by the public, namely that tickets of admission may be had for the separate branches of the entertainment, the price of which together with the hours of performance are specified in the following bill:-- _During the Week the following Entertainments will be presented._ A favourite Burletta in One Act, called SOMETHING LIKE BREAKFAST. The chief characters by the celebrated foreign performers, Signiors TEA COFFEE SUGAR etc. Price of admission 10d. Hours from 8 to 10 A.M. _After which, a Bagatelle, or Interlude in One Act, called_ IF YOU LIKE IT, LUNCH IT. The characters by Messrs CHESCHIRE GLOUCESTER CRUST KIDNEY RAREBIT etc. And other well known Performers who will be found ever ready at the call of the Public. _At the Hour of three P.M. a Grand Melodrama in two Acts called_ HOW SHALL I DINE? The chief Character on Monday by the celebrated old Roscius of the Epicurean Stage, ROAST BEEF. The other Characters by the celebrated _Murphys_ etc., assisted by the _Little Pickles_ etc. Guards, Messrs _Cayenne_ etc. Scenery by Messrs _Diaper and Assistants_. Dresses by _Mrs Cook_. Music (a _joint_ composition of _Handel_ and _Stick_) by Messrs _Knife and Fork_. Price of Admission One Shilling. The principal Character in the above-mentioned Piece will be sustained by different Actors of celebrity during the week, viz. Tuesday _Boiled Mutton_, Wednesday _Roast or Boiled Pork_, Thursday _Veal and Bacon_, Friday _Boiled Beef_, Saturday _Roast Mutton_. At Eight P.M. every evening the well known eccentric Pat Murphy (in company with his friend Pat Butter) will have the honour of making his appearance in his much admired hot-jacket of brown. _Theatre closed every Evening at half past Eleven._ N.B. A stout and venerable white-headed Porter from the office of Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will attend the Theatre for the purpose of keeping good order during the performance. _The whole got up under the immediate care of_ Stage Manager _W. Trampton_. Between forty and fifty years ago there was an amusing contest going on between two tradespeople in the City: both were hairdressers, and lived opposite each other. Seeing that the one throve by selling pomade made of bear’s grease, the other, knowing that it was just as good and more profitable to sell any other material in pots with “bear’s grease” on the label, started in opposition, using similar pots to those sold by his opponent, filled with an inexpensive unguent. The first dealer, who was known to keep bears in his cellar, and who had himself taken up once a week before the sitting alderman as a nuisance, by way of advertisement, killed a bear upon this, and hung him up whole in full sight in his shop. He also wrote in the window, “A fresh bear killed this day!” The other, who had but one bear in all the world, which he privately led out of his house after dark every night, and brought him back in the morning (to seem like a new supply going on), continued his sale, and announced in his window, “Our fresh bear will be killed to-morrow.” The original vendor then, determined to cut off his rival’s last shift, kept his actual bears, defunct, with the skins only half off, like calves at a butcher’s, hanging up always at his door, proclaimed that “all bear’s grease sold in pots was a vile imposture,” and desired his customers to walk in “and see theirs with their own eyes, cut and weighed from the animal.” This seemed conclusive for two days; but on the third, the cunning opposition was again to the fore, with a placard “founded on the opinion of nine doctors of physic,” which stated that bear’s grease “obtained from the animal in a tamed or domesticated state, will not make anybody’s hair grow at all.” In consequence of which, he went on to say, “he has formed an establishment in Russia (where all the best bears come from), for catching them wild, cutting the fat off immediately, and potting it down for London consumption.” And the rogue actually ruined the business of his antagonist, without going to the expense of killing a single bear, by writing all over his house, “Licensed by the Imperial Government--Here, and at Archangel.” George Robins, the auctioneer, was a profound believer in the value of advertisements, and exercised all his ingenuity and ability, both of which were considerable, to devise fresh schemes for attracting public notice. His powers of producing a good bill were remarkable, as was also his facility of description. Robins’s style has been so often commented upon, and his work so often copied and burlesqued, that it is hardly worth while our touching upon either him or his bills. As, however, such a book as this would be hardly complete without a reference to the puffing genius of modern days, we select a portion--and only a portion, mind--of his description of the Colosseum in Regent’s Park, one of the greatest failures of speculative enthusiasts known, which, despite Robins and his panegyric, and despite the strenuous efforts which have been made to cultivate an unwilling populace into believing in it as a place of amusement, is now being demolished to make way for a set of dwelling-houses planned upon the site on which was reared the building described by the poetically-fancied auctioneer as, among many other things, a =CYCLOPÆAN STRUCTURE=, WHERE DESCRIPTION FAILS TO PORTRAY “Its eloquent proportions, Its mighty graduations,” WHICH, EVEN WHEN SEEN, “Thou seest not all, but piecemeal thou must break, To separate contemplation, the great whole.” THE EXQUISITE PROPORTIONS OF =THE CLASSIC PORTICO=, One of the finest specimens of =THE GREEK DORIC=, TOGETHER WITH “The Dome, the vast and wondrous Dome,” WHICH PROUDLY “-----------------------------Vies In air with earth’s chief structures,” Win our admiration, while there is nothing of ancient or modern days that can compete with it either in ^Classic Elegance, Grandeur of Effect, or Beauty of Proportion;^ And it must remain to future ages a monument of the genius of the architect, as an “Outshining and o’erwhelming edifice.” The stupendous purpose for which the COLOSSEUM was erected is too well known to need description. =THOUSANDS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS= Having been attracted by THE PICTURE OF LONDON, Which covers the interior of the external wall, =THE MODERN BABYLON=, Which occupied the artist upwards of four years in delineating its endless details from the dome of St. Paul’s at the quiet hour of morning, when the buildings of this great metropolis were unobscured by smoke, and the early mists dispersed by the sun’s vicegerent power,--this picture now “Stands within the Colosseum’s wall.” THE BUILDING CONTAINS =A GRAND SALOON OF ART=, Surrounding the interior of the whole edifice, “All musical in its immensities, Rich marbles--richer painting--” Stored with productions of modern artists, models of ingenious machinery, and a variety of scientific experiments to attract the spectator, and is well calculated for any and every exhibition of an extensive nature. “Enter--------------thy mind, Expanded by the genius of the spot, Has grown colossal!” On the outside of the main building are magnificent Conservatories filled with every kind of exotic, and decorated with _FOUNTAINS AND JETS D’EAU_, Equalling in beauty the most celebrated ^Fountains of Versailles & St. Eldefonso^. =Two Thousand Eight Hundred Persons= HAVE PAID FOR ADMISSION DURING ONE DAY To view this extraordinary and incomparable work of art. =THE COLOSSEUM’S GRANDEUR= ENCOMPASSED THEM WITH WONDER--A SUBLIME CREATIVE SPIRIT IN THIS WORLD OF MIRACLES. It may be well to observe that continued success will be rendered certain by a change of scene, and the purchaser has only to call to his aid =THE MAGIC INFLUENCE OF STANFIELD’S PENCIL= To create a new sensation, and enlist thousands to partake of the refreshing delight created by his versatile and unrivalled talent. Indeed, it will not be requisite to tax ingenuity very greatly to think of an infinite variety of ways by which a large fortune may be made. It has for years past produced from =Three to Five Thousand Pounds a Year=, And this without any artificial aid, or so much of industry and tact as this wonderful building seems especially to have invited. Robins’s eloquence very often led him to describe things as they were not, and now and again he had to recant and make amends. He is generally credited with having referred to a gallows which stood upon part of an estate, as a unique and elegant hanging wood, and thereby obtaining a considerably larger sum for the property than it was in any way worth. Among Robins’s many eccentricities this must not be reckoned, as the hanging-wood episode, though true in itself, belongs to an earlier time, the trick having been played during the last century. When a man gets credit for the possession of any peculiarity, every story that can be raked up of a suitable kind takes him for its originator or leading spirit, and innumerable tales were at one time current with regard to the great auctioneer, of which he was perfectly innocent. So it is in other things. What did Foote, Garrick, Sheridan, Hook, Sydney Smith, Hood, Barham, Rogers, Jerrold, and numerous other of our celebrated wits, know of a quarter the sayings and doings that have been ascribed to them? Little indeed, we fancy. But there are some things which Robins did say and do which have not been recorded. In answer to a lady who remarked to him that in his graphic descriptions he must have used up the entire dictionary, Robins said, “Madam, I’ll give five pounds to any charitable society you like to name if you can find me a word I have not used.” Mrs Macauley might have taken him at his word, and would doubtless have won the money, but the lady we speak of declined the contest. There is not much in this, except as showing to what an extent his powers of description led him. Having given one of his sayings, we will conclude with an item from his doings, a description of the villa and garden of W. Harrison, Esq., Q.C. We trust we shall cause no one to be discontented with his or her present abode by giving this description--rather do we hope that one of the new race of picturesque reporters may be tempted by it to study under Robins, and thereby improve his condition:-- In attempting an adequate representation of what has been aptly termed =A LITTLE HEAVEN UPON EARTH=, Much of the difficulty Mr. ROBINS feared to encounter he is happily relieved from by the extraordinary renown which the late worthy possessor has imparted to this incomparable retreat. “Thus far we sail before the wind,” Exclaims the individual who is flattered by having been selected for this interesting Sale, but fear and trembling now succeeds in encountering the Herculean task of pourtraying the countless beauties that are congregated =Within the Grounds of this Elysium=. It would puzzle much higher talent than he can bring, adequately to describe this Landscape, but it must be attempted; and Mr. ROBINS prays that the reader will bear with him a little longer, under the assurance that condensity shall be his motto, at the same time avoiding that cloudy region entered by the witty Flaccus, who, “Aiming at brevity became obscure.” _THE GROUNDS_ Extend to near Five Acres, and the extraordinary tact that must have presided in arriving at this scene of perfection, must be viewed, it must be seen to feel and appreciate what seems to partake of Fairy Land. Mr. LOUDON has indulged the public with Twenty-two Vignettes and Plans to hand down to posterity a faint idea of =The Velvet Ornamental lawn=, On which is congregated the most rare and extensive assemblage of Plants and flowering Shrubs that is to be met with in England. From all THE FLORICULTURAL EXHIBITIONS The treasures were quite sure to find a home at Cheshunt, indeed the late Proprietor’s judgment in the Cultivation of Rare and Valuable Plants was quite unique, and his Gardener, Mr. PRATT, a prototype of his employer. It would fatigue the reader to give in detail the host of Rare Plants that adorn these Grounds, the value of which is past belief--more than a Thousand Pounds have been consumed alone in rare Exotics; the masses of Growing Plants, the French Garden, and all this (by the way) is relieved and varied by =THE ORNAMENTAL WATERS AND ISLAND=, Varying and necessarily improving this beauteous scene. Perpetual breaks and peeps are contrived, by different views, to look on the Waters, in which Thousands of Gold and Silver Fish enjoy their “sportive gambols.” Correct judgment is made very manifest in the disposition of these Grounds, by avoiding the whole being seen, except by slow degrees. Then there are dispersedly dotted about throughout the Lawn--The Rustic Alcoves, the Chinese Temple, Grottos, and covered Seats, Orchidaceus and Fern Houses, and Aviary. A Mount is devoted to the Show of Aloes during the Summer, rendering the _ensemble_ most captivating; a Hermit’s Cave, covered with Ivy; a Gravel Walk, belted by American Borders of Rare Plants; a beautiful Grotto, adorned by a fine piece of Statuary; a Rustic Summer House, fitted up in the Indian style; a smaller Grotto, fitted in Stone, of grotesque and rustic masonry; in fact, everything that sagacity or the human mind could well conceive, seems to have been achieved here, to render this spot =A PERFECT PARADISE.= From the Terrace Walk that environs it, a perpetually interesting scene of the Lawn, in varied forms of beauty (the Church Steeple peeping out in the distance, to vary the scene) is disclosed, and is so ingeniously and cleverly managed that the deciduous Trees, during the Summer, afford constant protection from the heat of the sun, and during the Winter (being then naked) admit the genial warmth of the sun to keep dry the Gravel Walks. From the canny North Country we get two bills, the first of which is likely to shake the belief of those who imagine that swindlers and impostors have little chance in the border counties, where the babies are said to be born with their wisdom teeth ready cut, and to “know their way about” before they are out of leading-strings. J. A. was fully possessed of his share of artfulness, and though his name has not come down to us, it being just the same in the bill as here printed, his initials were well known some years back, and his practice was very successful:-- THE WHOLE ART OF FORTUNE-TELLING, BY J----n A----k, BARTON. * * * * * _Deep in the dismal Regions, void of Light, Three Witches, for Consultation, meet to Night; So, sacred Sisters, your secret Mysteries state, The Witches leaders, and their great Powers relate._ * * * * * WHO begs most respectfully to acquaint his Friends that he has, for the Benefit of the Public, commenced the above Business; and, from the long Time he had studied under the different Masters of the Magical Mysteries in the present Age, also, in all the ancient and modern Books, in Astrology, Nicromancy, Divinations, and all the magical Charms, Spells, Rites, Enchantments, and hidden Mysteries in past and future Events, flatters himself that he has become Proficient in his Art. Hail, Medea, hail! if still he scorn the Spell, By Fate, I’ll force him to the Gates of Hell! Such potent Sorceries an Assyrian taught, As to a magic Charm the Drugs he wrought. J. A. can break any Charm caused by Enchantment; can also immediately name the Planet under which a Person is born; and will also inform any Person whether he or she will be married, and to whom; and can inform all married Men, to their Satisfaction, in all the secret Transactions which they may suppose to have taken place with their Wives; can also conjure back any stolen Goods, and bewitch any Person or Animal who has done any one an Injury, &c. &c. Hail, Hecate! and give my rising Spell Ev’n Appollonius’s Sorceries to excel: Bid my strong Witchery match ev’n Circe’s Skill, O’er the dire Rites,--my Mysteries fulfil. J. A. also begs to add that he has not spared any Expence to make himself Master of all the magical Mysteries, and is confident of his own Abilities in being able to give every Satisfaction to those who may favour him with a Consultation will meet with due Attention, but their Letters must be post-paid, inclosing a Post-office Order for 5s. The Age of the Applicant must be stated. Persons attending will be charged 2s. only. J. A. is also a Dealer in Talismanick Charms, engraved with magical Characters, 10s. 6d. each. A man who commences a sorcery business for the benefit of the public deserves to succeed, especially when he can break any charm caused by enchantment, conjure back stolen goods, and so play the avenger’s part as to bewitch any person or animal who has done any one an injury. It is a pity J. A. did not get some of his mysterious agents to put his lines a little in order. The other is a Tyneside advertisement, and shows also a partiality for verse--indeed consists of nothing else, if we except the name and address; but its theme is far more material than that of its companion. Unlike in the case of the publican of Wych Street, we will not assume that Mr Catcheside employed any one over the following effusion, of which he is welcome to all the credit:-- JOHN CATCHESIDE, GROCER & TEA-DEALER, BIGG-MARKET, _NEWCASTLE_. YE gentlemen of town and country, A shop, next door to Whitfield’s entry, Is just fit up for your inspection, By Mr Catcheside’s direction; Good ladies, too, I crave your favours,-- To please you shall be my endeavours. Without the fairer sex are pleas’d, The mind of man is never eas’d. But ladies, pray, and gentlemen, Call, and I’ll please you if I can. I’ve Teas of all sorts you can mention-- To keep them good is my intention: All from the India-house direct, Warranted genuine you may expect; Which I do sell on lowest terms, And not as gentlemen let farms; I’ve Sugars too, the same to sweeten, As good as ever yet were eaten; Loaves, well refin’d as ’ere you saw, Which boiling water scarce will thaw. I’ve Treacle, Juice, and Sugar-Candy, And Turkey Coffee strong as brandy; The very best Plantation ditto, With Fry’s and White’s best Patent Cocoa, And Churchman’s Patent Chocolate,-- All which I sell at a low rate. I’ve fine Tobacco, Patent Shag, Twist, Saffron Cut, and Common Rag; And Snuff, whatever kind you choose, To clear your brain, and warm your nose; Zant Currants, commonly call’d Spice, Orange and Lemon Peel, and Rice; Malaga Raisins, too, I sell, With Bloom, and Sun, and Muscatell, With which you well may stuff your wigs; Or here’s French Plumbs, or Turkey Figs; Or Prunes, if you do think them fitter, With Almonds, Jordan, Shell, and Bitter; Nutmegs, Cloves, Cinnamon, and Mace, Good as you’ll get at any place; Season your syllabubs and custards; For beef, I’ve Vinegar and Mustards. All kinds of Pepper, too, I’ll sell ye, Macaroni and Vermacelli; Anchovies, Cassia, and Cassia-buds, And many other sorts of goods, Prepar’d for puddings, pies, and sauces:-- Come, buy them cheap, ye bonny lasses! And if your birds for seeds do gape, I have Canary, Hemp, and Rape; And further down you need not wander For Annis, Carraway, and Coriander; Of Ginger, too, I’m never scant, For any purpose you may want. I’ve Sago fine, and Capers both, And famous Barley for your broth! Salt Petre, Bay and Basket Salt, To make your hams without a fault; With Picked Isinglass and Staple, To make your ale fit for the table:-- Then what can man desire more, Than beef, and broth, and ale in store? But dinner’s done; come, draw the table, Here’s Soap to wash while you are able; But if you think that will not do, Here’s Poland Starch and Powder Blue; And if you’d have some coarser washes, I have good Pearl and Comby Ashes; Should you incline to wash by night, I’ve Candles, too, will shew you light. To spin dry wool you need not toil, I’ve plenty Whale and Florence Oil. Set by your wheels, your tongs, and poker And paint your nooks with Yellow Ochre. Put all your dye-pots to one side, When with fresh Indigo supplied; Then paint above your lintel-head And chimney-pieces with Black-Lead. If still materials you do lack, I’ve Fuller’s Earth and Ivory Black, Logwood, Copperas, and Whiting, Yea many more things not worth writing. Once more your favours I solicit, I’m ready waiting for a visit; Most due attendance will be given From seven at morn till eight at even; Or later, if it seems expedient, By your most humble and obedient, JOHN CATCHESIDE. Getting back to London, we come upon a bill of the kind now and then adopted with regard to posters, the idea in which is to convey a different notion at sight from that which is given by close inspection. In the following the plan has been carried out with great nicety, the author’s endeavour being to make the notice look like a Government proclamation, and as one of the best specimens of the kind we have ever seen it is presented to the reader:-- [Illustration: V. R.] _PROCLAMATION!_ ^Whereas^, It being Our Royal Will and Pleasure that our well-beloved, trusty and loyal subject HARRY JOHNSON, should for the Amusement of our well-beloved, trusty and loyal subjects of Hoxton and its Vicinity, give a grand entertainment on ASH WEDNESDAY, the 9th of February, 1842, for the BENEFIT of Himself, when he trusts from the Talent he has selected on this occasion, and the well-known respectability and celebrity of all parties, he cannot fail of securing a TREAT TO THE _=British Public=_. H. J. feels proud and happy to announce that many Professional Friends have, in the most handsome manner, proffered their valuable Services: they are enabled to do this with greater facility as no other Place of Amusement in London is open on that Evening. Their Names will transpire in future bills. Miss PHILLIPS will on this night sing, in her usual sweet and inimitable style, _WANTED_ =A GOVERNESS= The Beneficiare will also sing, FOR THE First time, the Young =PRINCE OF WALES=. A Gentleman has kindly consented on this occasion to sing an Entire New Comic Song, to be called “Comfort is all my View; or SALARY Is no object!!” Mr. H. PARKER will also sing his much admired ballad of Had I =£1,000 A-YEAR!!!= A Lady will sing NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED. ALL APPLICATIONS TO BE MADE (FOR TICKETS) ON OR BEFORE ASH WEDNESDAY, FEBRU. 9, 1842, AT THE OFFICE ROYAL BRITANNIA SALOON, HOXTON OLD TOWN. =_The Ceremony of_ IN-STALL-ING _to commence at Half Past_ SIX _o’clock Precisely_.= GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!! The attention of readers will probably be attracted by the advertisement so elaborately concocted and carefully worked out. If its promoters received any extra support because of it, they certainly deserved what they got, as the plan is difficult to connect with any but large bills. The next item we have brings us to the year 1853, and is again from the county of Northumberland. It is far more pretentious than the composition of Mr John Catcheside, but by no means so successful. It is from the pen of a general shopkeeper, who evidently considered he had done something when he had been through his proofs, seen this to press, and forwarded copies to unsuspecting, and, as it turned out, unsympathising, families about G----, a small place not very far from Newcastle:-- _To the inhabitants of G---- and its neighbourhood._ The present age is teeming with advantages which no preceding era in the history of mankind has afforded to the human family. New schemes are projecting to enlighten and extend civilisation, Railways have been projected and carried out by an enterprising and spirited nation, while Science in its gigantic power (simple yet sublime) affords to the human mind so many facilities to explore its rich resources, the Seasons roll on in their usual course producing light and heat, the vivifying rays of the sun and the fructifying influences of nature producing food and happiness to the Sons of Toil, while to the people of G---- and its neighbourhood a rich and extensive variety of Fashionable Goods is to be found in my Warehouse, which have just been selected with the greatest care. The earliest visit is requested to convey to the mind an adequate idea of the great extent of his purchases, comprising, as it does, all that is elegant and useful, cheap and substantial to the light-hearted votaries of Matrimony, the Matrons of Reflection, the Man of Industry, and the Disconsolate Victims of Bereavement. This composition having been printed and distributed, the author waited impatiently for its powerful effect, and when to his great astonishment he discovered that it had produced none, he, with the irritability that nearly always accompanies neglected genius, resolved to get back and destroy every copy of his essay, and thereby deny to posterity what his own generation could not appreciate. Fortunately for ourselves, and for ages yet unborn, a copy was preserved, and printed in _Notes and Queries_. Most dwellers for any time in London remember Lord Chief Baron Nicholson and his Judge and Jury Society, which used to be held at the Coal Hole in the Strand. Virtuous readers may shudder at the mention of such a place; but time was when the deliberations and decisions of the jury, as well as the directions of the judge and the peculiarities of the witnesses, were productive of mirth independent of _double entendre_ among an audience composed of anything but roysterers and howling cads. In such halcyon days, when Nicholson was in the flesh, looking much more like a chief baron than nine-tenths of the possessors of the title ever did, the following handbill was printed:-- The Lord Chief Baron NICHOLSON Begs to inform his best friends, the Public, that he and the learned Gentlemen of the JUDGE AND JURY SOCIETY, have left the Garrick’s Head in Bow Street, and now hold their Forensic Sittings at the celebrated COAL HOLE TAVERN, Fountain Court, Strand, every Evening. A JUDGE!--and in a Coal Hole too! Quoth rustic John, I can’t believe thee. That sounds too funny to be true, Come NICHOLSON, now don’t deceive me. I wont deceive thee in the path, So at the ancient Coal Hole meet me, BLACKSTONE and COKE burn on the hearth, And LAW flares up, my lad, to greet thee. DO NOT FORGET TO REMEMBER THE COAL HOLE IN THE STRAND. Law was the proprietor of the establishment, and he “flared up” to some tune, so far as the production of suppers required flaring. And suppers were both numerous and excellent at the Coal Hole; the stewed or scalloped oyster, the devilled kidney, the broiled bone, and the modest “rabbit” receiving considerable attention during the progress of the mock trials. Subsequently the Coal Hole became a resort for journalists and actors, who used to be admitted to a snug old room behind the bar; but all that is changed now, an ambitious landlord having modernised the place and driven forth its old _habitués_. Not by violence or through incivility, but by means of plate-glass, electro tankards, and other goods, the unwonted and unwelcome aspect of which has made wanderers of the old warm-hearted coterie. Why will people “restore” and improve the few comfortable old taverns still left about London, and drive honest folk from the snug and unpretending corners they have occupied for years? This same restoration is shortsighted and impolitic. The houses become nondescript; they are too modern, and perhaps too respectable, for the old customers, not glaring and gassy enough for the new; and so they stand, with just sufficient about them to remind us of the joys that are past, and not enough to tempt us to renew them in the future. Turning from taverns, coal-holey and otherwise, we have finally to notice that kind of advertising which is the result of an attempt to make profit out of others’ misfortunes. At the time, but a very few years back, of the Overend and Gurney failure, an enterprising linen-draper in the North-West district of London put forth the following handbill (p. 555), which was of large size, surrounded by a thick black mourning border, and which, in addition to being given away, was sent about by post. For reasons which are obvious, we have changed the names, and have no hesitation in giving an opinion that the proceeding was a very sharp bit of business, worthy of the hero of the wooden nutmegs. It was followed by a long list of the goods to be sold, with the market prices and those at which they were offered, the practice of making up two sets of figures on goods having been found very efficacious of late years. This brings us well up to the present time, and as that is quite capable of taking care of itself without any assistance from us, we will conclude, in the hope that, though we have perforce passed many interesting specimens by, our selection, considering the space at command, has not been in any way injudicious. The Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster. LAMENTABLE CASE OF RUIN AND DEATH. =THE “STANDARD” of the 29th ultimo, truly observes--= “=Difficult indeed would it be to exaggerate the extent of the mischief that was done by the fall of the great house which had for generations stood firm as a rock *  *  *  * nor would it be easy to adequately describe the woe and desolation, the loss and ruin, consequent upon the suspension and disastrous liquidation of the Company.=” A more distressing case than the one in question it is impossible to conceive.--It is briefly told.--An old-established Linen Draper of the City of London, (Mr. JOB HUCKABACK), had invested the Savings of a life-time in the Overend Gurney Scheme. The result is known. Still his Business remained, and he might have struggled on, but further calls being imminent, his last hope was crushed, so, Bankrupt and broken-hearted, he died,--leaving a wife and five young children to the mercy of fate.-- The Trade Creditors have done what they can by waiving all claims upon the Estate, and have generously resolved that the Stock shall be sold for the benefit of the Widow and Children. THE STOCK, WHICH IS HIGHLY CHOICE AND VALUABLE, HAS BEEN ENTRUSTED TO =MR. CHARLES MARTEL=, With prompt Orders TO REALISE AT ONCE ON ANY TERMS. THE FIRST GRAND SALE OF SELECTED GOODS WILL BE HELD IN THE Large Assembly Room of the ---- Hotel, N.W. (☞ Ladies may avoid passing through the Hotel, by presenting enclosed Card to Messenger at Private Door.) On Monday, 1st, Tuesday, 2nd, Wednesday, 3rd, and Thursday, 4th March, From Ten a.m. till Dusk each Day, closing on Thursday, at 5 p.m., prompt, _not a minute later_. The Sale will be by Private Treaty, thus affording Ladies leisure to freely inspect. Although prices are quoted as a guide, NO OFFER WILL BE REJECTED, AS EVERYTHING MUST BE SOLD IN THE BRIEF TIME SPECIFIED.