CHAPTER XV.

_GRAHAM AND HIS CELESTIAL BED._ In the year 1775 there commenced practice in London one of the most extraordinary empirics of any time, whose name was Graham. He was the son of a saddler in the Cowgate, Edinburgh, where he was born in 1745. Having graduated as a doctor of medicine at the University of the modern Athens, he practised for some time at Pontefract. After a short residence in that town, Dr Graham went to America, where he figured as a philanthropic physician, travelling for the benefit of mankind, to administer relief in the most desperate diseases to patients whose cases had hitherto puzzled ordinary physicians. And here he picked up a deal of experience, which he put to the test on his return. Having the advantage of a handsome person, a polite address, an agreeable conversation, and great fluency of speech, he obtained admission into the first circles, particularly in New England, where, as he himself stated, he reaped “golden opinions.” Returning to England, he made an excursion through the country, and according to his own account, was eminently successful in curing many individuals whose cases had been considered desperate. In 1775 Graham settled in London, opening a house in Pall Mall, “nearly opposite the King’s Palace,” where he devoted his attention specially to disorders of the ear and eye, and inserted advertisements to that effect in the daily papers. These advertisements, though by no means couched in so bombastic a style as Graham’s later productions, still have an undeniable spice of quackery about them. They are, however, rather too lengthy for insertion. One of them which appeared on February 9, 1776, after stating that from motives of delicacy the Doctor made it an invariable rule never on any account to mention the cure, however extraordinary, of any person, poor or rich, gives the following particulars of his practice:-- Dr Graham began to practise in London, Feb. 1, 1775, and the following is the general state of his Practice in disorders of the Eye and Ear: from that time to November 1, being a period of nine Months, cures or relieved 281; refused as incurable on their first Application, 317; after a short Trial (by desire) found incurable 47; dismissed for Neglect, etc. 57; country, foreign, and other Patients, events unknown, 381. After residing in London for some time, he visited Scotland, and was employed by people of the first quality, who were tempted to put themselves under his care by the fascination of his manner and the fame of his wondrous cures. So popular was he that he might have settled in Edinburgh to great advantage, but he preferred returning to England. He fixed his abode in London, where he set on foot one of the most original and extravagant institutions that could well be imagined, the object of which was, according to the _ipsissima verba_ of one of the Doctor’s advertisements, “the propagation of a much more strong, beautiful, active, healthy, wise, and virtuous race of human beings, than the present puny, insignificant, foolish, peevish, vicious, and nonsensical race of Christians, who quarrel, fight, bite, devour, and cut one another’s throat about they know not what.” The idea was original and singular in the highest degree; but he founded his hopes on a perfect knowledge of human nature, and the success which attended his experiment proved that he had calculated with judgment. It has been assumed by some that he really believed in his own statements. That must have been the result of repeating them so often, and in this particular he was by no means singular. In May 1779 he opened what he called “The Temple of Health” in the Adelphi, the purposes of which may be best understood from one of his advertisements which appeared in the _Morning Herald_ and other newspapers pretty constantly between 1778 and 1781:-- TEMPLE OF HEALTH, Adelphi. To their Excellencies the Foreign Ambassadors, to the Nobility, Gentry, and to Persons of Learning and of Taste. By Particular Desire, the Exhibitions at the TEMPLE of HEALTH will be continued as usual every TUESDAY, THURSDAY, and SATURDAY Evenings, till the TEMPLE of HYMEN be opened, which will be announced in the Public Papers. THE CELESTIAL BRILLIANCY of the Medico-Electrical Apparatus in all the apartments of the Temple, will be exhibited By Dr. GRAHAM himself Who will have the honour of explaining the true Nature and Effects of Electricity, Air, Music, and Magnetism when applied to the Human Body. In the Introductory Oration, the whole Art of enjoying Health and vigour of Body and of Mind, and of preserving and exalting personal beauty and loveliness; or in other words of living with Health, Honour, and Happiness, in this world for at least an hundred years, is pointed out and warmly inculcated. Previous to the display of the Electrical Fire, the Doctor will delicately touch upon the CELESTIAL BEDS which are soon to be opened in the Temple of Hymen, in Pall Mall, for the propagation of Beings, rational and far stronger and more beautiful in mental as well as in bodily Endowments, than the present puny, feeble and nonsensical race of Christians--probationary immortals, which crawl and fret, and cut one anothers throat for nothing at all, on most parts of this terraqueous globe. This Apparatus which visibly displays, as it were, the various facilities of the material Soul of universal and eternal Nature, is acknowledged by all who have seen it, to be by far the largest, most useful and most magnificent that now is or that ever was in the world. Admittance 5s. But in order that Persons of every Rank may have a View of this most magnificent Apparatus, the Temple of Health may be viewed every Day this Week, from two o’Clock in the Afternoon till eight at Night. Admittance 1s. _N.B._--A Pamphlet is now published, (by permission) with the particulars of several hundred Cures in confirmed Diseases, lately performed at the Temple of Health, with the Names and Residence of the Patients, at their own particular Desire, to be had of the Porter at the Temple, price only 3d. As a further attraction to his establishment, Graham secured the services of a beautiful young woman, whom he styled “Vestina, the Rosy Goddess of Health,” who presided over the evening lectures, and, according to the advertisements, assisted “at the display of the Celestial Meteors, and of that sacred Vital Fire over which she watches, and whose application in the cure of diseases, she daily has the honour of directing.” The lady who acted this part subsequently became notorious as the wife of Sir William Hamilton, ambassador to the Court of Naples. Her name was Emma Hart, and before she was raised to the dignity of Goddess of Health, she had officiated in the more humble capacity of nursery and lady’s maid in gentlemen’s families. Eventually, after having sat as model to Romney and other painters, and having lived under the protection of different gentlemen, she was finally married in 1791 at St George’s, Hanover Square, to Sir William Hamilton. Her subsequent connection with Lord Nelson, and her power over that great naval hero but weak human being, as well as the humiliating positions in which she placed her dotard of a husband, form part of the history of this country. In another of his advertisements Graham offers to explain “the whole art of enjoying health and vigour of body and mind, and of preserving and exalting personal beauty and loveliness; or, in other words, of living with health, honour, and happiness in this world, for at least a hundred years.” One of the means for ensuring this end was the constant use of mud baths; and that the Doctor might be observed to practise what he preached, he was to be seen, on stated occasions, immersed in mud to the chin, accompanied by Vestina, who had only then recently left off nursing children and attending on ladies. Her beauty attracted general attention, and brought Graham a deal of practice. While she remained in the mud bath, she had her hair elaborately dressed in the prevailing fashion, with powder, flowers, feathers, and ropes of pearls; Graham appearing in an equally elaborate wig. In the spring of 1781 the Temple of Health was removed to Schomberg House (now the Ordnance Office), Pall Mall, and the “Temple of Hymen” and “Celestial Bed” were exhibited to the gaze of the profane and the curious. Altogether the establishment was of a very extraordinary description. The front was ornamented with an enormous gilt sun, a statue of Hygieia, and other attractive emblems; the suites of rooms were superbly furnished, and the walls decorated with mirrors, so as to confer on the place an effect like that of an enchanted palace. All the exertions of the painter and sculptor, all the enchantments of vocal and instrumental music, all the powers of electricity and magnetism, were called into operation to enliven and heighten the scene. In a word, all that could delight the eye or ravish the ear, all that could please the smell, give poignancy to the taste, or gratify the touch, were combined to give effect to the whole--at least such was his own account. As a further means of attraction, he hired two men of extraordinary stature, two sons of Anak, whom he appareled in showy and startling liveries, and each of whom wore an enormous cocked-hat, whose business it was to distribute bills from house to house through the town. These handbills were curiously suggestive of the wonderful Doctor’s general bombastic style. Here is one of them:-- _Temple of Health and of Hymen. Pall Mall._ THE LECTURE at the above place having been received by very numerous, polite and brilliant audiences of Ladies and Gentlemen with unbounded applause, it will be repeated This and every Evening this Week; and precisely at 8 o’clock the Gentleman Usher of the Rosy Rod, assisted by the High Priestess, will conduct the rosy, the gigantic, the stupendous Goddess of Health to the Celestial Throne. The blooming PRIESTESS of the TEMPLE will endeavour to entertain Ladies and Gentlemen of candour and good nature, by reading a Lecture on the simplest and most efficacious means of preserving health, beauty, and personal loveliness, and serene mental brilliancy, even to the extremest old age. VESTINA, the GIGANTIC! on the Celestial Throne, as the Goddess of Health, will exhibit in her own person, a proof of the all-blessing effects of virtue, temperance, regularity, simplicity, and moderation; and in these luxurious, artificial, and effeminate times, to recommend those great virtues. The Temple (which exhibits more riches, more elegance, and more brilliancy than any royal Palace in the world) will as usual be sweetly illuminated with wax, in the highest, most dazzling, and most celestial magnificence from 7 till 10 o’clock, This evening and every Evening this week, and the Lecture will begin precisely at eight. Both before and after the Lecture, one of Vestina’s Fairy Train will warble forth sweet celestial sounds.--_Admittance only_ ONE SHILLING. The magnificent Electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and _unique_ decorations of this magical Edifice--of this enchanting Elysian Palace! where wit and mirth, love and beauty--all that can delight the soul, and all that can ravish the senses, will hold their court, This and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous assemblage. ⁂ Ladies of rank and character are assured, that nothing will be said or seen, which can give even the smallest offence to the chastest and most delicate female eye or ear, and that every thing will be conducted with the most perfect decency and decorum.--Ladies are requested to come early, in order that they may be agreeably accommodated with seats. ⁂ A very few copies still remaining of Dr. Graham’s Private Advisers (_sealed up, price One Guinea_) to those Ladies and Gentlemen who wish to have children, or to become snowy pillars of Health and Beauty, studded as it were with roses, and streaked with celestial blue, may now be had at only Half a Guinea; his other curious and eccentric works, containing full descriptions of his Travels, Discoveries, Improvements, Principles, Cures, Electrical Apparatus, etc.--formerly 3s. 6d., now only 1s. 9d., and VESTINA, the rosy Goddess’s warm Lecture, price 2s. 6d. ☞ All Dr. Graham’s Medicines to be had as usual, at the Temple of Health. Note. Ladies and Gentlemen Electrified. All went well for a time, and the Temple was nightly crowded with silly people who paid their half-guineas, for the shilling of the advertisements only just admitted to the “body of the hall.” Sometimes there were magnificent illuminations and Elysian promenades for both ladies and gentlemen, to which persons in masks were also admitted. “The enchanting glory of these seemingly magical scenes,” said the advertisements, “will break forth about seven, and die away about ten o’clock; during which time Oriental odours and ætherial essences will perfume the air, while the hymænal sopha blazes forth with the plenitude of the soft lambent celestial fire.” Having opened such scenes to the eyes of the wondering world, the Doctor thus addresses his contemporaries in another advertisement:-- TEMPLE OF HEALTH AND HYMEN, PALL MALL, _Near the King’s Palace._ IF there be one human Being, rich or poor, Male or Female, or of the doubtful Gender, in or near this great Metropolis of the World, who has not had the good Fortune and the Happiness of hearing the celebrated Lecture, and of seeing the grand celestial Bed, the magnificent electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and unique Decorations of this magical Edifice, of this enchanting Elysian Palace!--where Wit and Mirth, Love and Beauty--all that can delight the Soul and all that can ravish the Senses--will hold their Court, this, and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous Assemblage--let them now come forth, or for ever afterwards let them blame themselves and bewail their irremediable Misfortune. But the most important feature of Dr Graham’s establishment was the Celestial Bed. This wonder-working piece of furniture was made by one Denton,[39] a tinman, who lived in Coventry Street, and subsequently kept a bookseller’s shop in High Holborn, and it was said to have cost £12,000. It was beautifully carved and gilt, covered with silk damask, supported by twenty-eight glass pillars, and surmounted by a richly carved and gilt canopy, from which crimson silk curtains with fringe and tassels were suspended. Graham pretended that married couples without children might have heirs by sleeping in this bed, for which privilege he demanded one hundred pounds per night; and such is the folly of wealth, that persons of high rank were named who had acceded to these terms. This modern Æsculapius sold also for half a guinea a “Treatise on Health,” which was intended to render marriages happy, and entered into full particulars of the means to ensure this great and important object. After a long list of preliminary and necessary preparations, the principal of which was the utmost attention to cleanliness, the writer insisted on certain regulations. He recommended particularly the practice of early hours for rising and for retiring to rest. He advised that in bed-chambers the light, especially that of the moon, should not be excluded by curtains. He confessed he could give no sufficient reason for this predilection for the lunar rays, but observed that there are a thousand things in nature which exist without our being able to explain the reasons of their existence. He also advised married people to sing sometimes. “Music,” said he, “softens the mind of a happy couple, makes them all love, all harmony; their bodies, their souls unite, their existence is melted into a single being, which yields itself up with rapture to divine transports, and loses itself in an Elysium of bliss. In this state, this incessantly progressive enjoyment, the happy couple imagine themselves raised above this world, and become inhabitants of a superior region.” Thus he continued, till coming at last to the principal part of his discourse: “When the preliminary regimen which I have just described has been scrupulously observed and followed, and a new vigour has been acquired by drinking of the divine balm, which for the benefit of the human race, I have concocted with my own hand, and which, however, costs only a guinea a bottle, and when all these means have not proved sufficient for arriving at the end proposed, the last must then be absolutely applied to, that most extraordinary expedient which I alone possess, and which cannot fail. This agent is a most marvellous celestial bed, which I call magnetico-electric; it is the first, the only one in the world, or that ever existed. It is placed on the second floor, in a large and elegant hall, on the right hand of my orchestra, and immediately before my charming hermitage. In a neighbouring closet is placed a cylinder by which I communicate the celestial fire to the bed-chamber, that fluid which animates and vivifies all, and those cherishing vapours and Oriental perfumes, which I convey thither by means of tubes of glass. The celestial bed rests on six massy and transparent columns; coverings of purple, and curtains of celestial blue surround it, and the bed-clothes are perfumed with the most costly essences of Arabia: it is exactly similar to those that adorn the palaces in Persia, and to that of the favourite sultana in the seraglio of the Grand Turk. This bed is the fruit of the most laborious industry, and of the most indefatigable zeal. I will not mention the sums it has cost me: they are immense. I shall only add that I have omitted none of those precautions which decency and delicacy have a right to exact. Neither I, nor any of my people, are entitled to ask who are the persons that rest in this chamber, which I have denominated the Holy of Holies. This bed is never shown to those who come only to view the accessory parts. This precaution is as proper as it is delicate; for is there a being frigid enough to resist the influence of that pleasure, of those transports which this enchanting place inspires? It furnishes the grossest imagination with the means of refining its enjoyments, of multiplying its pleasures, and of carrying them to their highest degree. But the consequences are cruel; such dangerous refinements on the pleasures of the senses abridge the period of life, and relax the springs both of body and mind. Persons, however, who would penetrate to this throne of pleasure, are intreated to signify their desire to me in writing, and having appointed the night, and enclosed a bank-bill for fifty pounds, I shall furnish them with an admission ticket.” Ultimately, as the demand decreased, the price was reduced to twenty-five pounds, and it is said that even less was at times taken. It is not to be supposed that Graham’s contemporaries, except the weakest and most idiotic, believed in the marvellous effects attributed to this bed, or supposed that the Doctor had any motive in making his statements other than those which generally actuate quacks, and lead them into exaggerations. He and certain rich voluptuaries worked very well together with regard to this couch, as may be gathered from various satirical allusions in newspapers of the time, caricatures, &c. It is certain that spendthrifts and men of pleasure were the most profitable customers of the great empiric. The more the “Holy of Holies” began to be visited, the more did Graham add to the luxury and magnificence of the place; but in the month of March 1784 the farce was played out, the Temple of Health was shut, and all the furniture and apparatus put up for public sale. All the paraphernalia which had cost so much money, and with which he was identified--the superb temple of Apollo, the immense electrical machine, the instruments of music which played incessantly, and even the famous celestial bed itself--all fell in one common ruin under the ruthless hammer of the auctioneer. In a note which serves as a supplement to the description of the Celestial Bed, the Doctor adds: “Nothing is more surprising than the truly divine energy of this celestial and electric fire, which fills every part of the bed, as well as the magnetic fluid, both of them calculated to give the necessary degree of strength and exertion to the nerves. Besides the melodious tones of the harmonica, the soft sounds of a flute, the charms of an agreeable voice, and the harmonious notes of the organ, being all joined, how can the power and virtue of such a happy conjunction fail in raising sentiments of admiration and pleasure in the soul of the philosopher, and even of the physician?” According to the advertisements, the descriptive exhibition of the apparatus in the daytime was conducted by an “officiating junior priest.” This office was filled by a young medical man named Mitford, afterwards well known as, among other things, father of the celebrated authoress. Graham’s expenses were very heavy, and when after a time his advertisements failed to draw he fell into poverty, and it is said died in very straitened circumstances near Glasgow. [39] This Denton was a man of great mechanical skill, who made some very curious automaton figures. He was afterwards tried for coining, and acquitted on that charge, but was found guilty on a second count of having implements of coining in his possession. For this crime he was executed at Tyburn, on which occasion Dr Graham was present.