CHAPTER XVII.

_MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS AND AGENCIES._ It will not be at all out of the way to assume that as long as the world has been populated it has possessed people anxious to get married. Marriage is the correct condition of life; indeed we have the best authority for regarding it as one of the principal reasons of our being, and so there is no need for wonder that many of the best-known customs of the ancients bear upon marital rites and festivities. Marriage comes in due course to the majority, male and female; but there are, naturally, those who have no desire for it, and again those who have to make effort to obtain it. There are various ways of exhibiting one’s wares and attractions, and chief among them comes the object of our attention--advertising. Of late years there seems, in addition to the ordinary courses open to advertisers, to have been special arrangements made on behalf of the unmatched, who are allowed to express their desires and recommendations free, gratis, for nothing, in the columns of certain cheap periodicals--the described being all beauty or virtue, or both, when not possessed of capital. Would-be lovers are not generally deficient in either particular when the circulating medium is thrown into the balance as well. So that by means of the weekly publications referred to, marriage seems a much better commercial arrangement than that mentioned by a modern author, who, speaking of the Babylonians, says that “Herodotus records one of their customs, which, whether in jest or earnest, he declares to be the wisest he ever heard of. This was their wife-auction, by which they managed to find husbands for all their young women. The greatest beauty was put up first, and knocked down to the highest bidder; then the next in the order of comeliness--and so on to the damsel who was equidistant between beauty and plainness, who was given away gratis. Then the least plain was put up, and knocked down to the gallant who would marry her for the smallest consideration,--and so on till even the plainest was got rid of to some cynical worthy who decidedly preferred lucre to looks. By transferring to the scale of the ill-favoured the prices paid for the fair, beauty was made to endow ugliness, and the rich man’s taste was the poor man’s gain.” But in the representations of the wistful lovers who confide their secrets to certain editors, ugliness has no existence among the ladies, vice or laziness is unknown to the gentlemen, and money seems plentiful with both, so that it remains quite a mystery how any of the intending suitors have managed to evade Hymen for any length of time, so superior are they to the commonplace people whom we are in the habit of seeing settled down in sober domesticity. A writer in a miscellany a few years back catalogued a lot of the claimants for matrimony, first in the list being Sincere Polly, who describes herself as dark, high-spirited, and handsome; next is Evangelina, eighteen, handsome and accomplished, who will have £300 a year when of age; Fanny declares herself to be a sweet-tempered and pretty girl, just seventeen; Annie Everard endeavours to attract by her modesty in saying that she is eighteen, and not beautiful, only pretty; and Viola offers inducement in describing herself as seventeen, and Irish, merry, lively, and inclined to be stout. These ask for the carte-de-visite of a Captain Compass who advertised previously. Following these young and lovely females comes Blanche, who describes herself as a slight, graceful girl of eighteen, with dreamy violet eyes and golden rippling hair, shading a face of rare and delicate loveliness. She is a great admirer of soldiers, a lover of the chase, and all field sports. This enchanting creature is very anxious for Albert’s carte-de-visite. Who is Albert, and what has he done, that he of all men should be singled out to carry off this flower of creation? “But,” says the writer to whom we have referred, who seems quite unable to swallow the description, in which he is very different from ourselves, as we would never contradict a lady, “the morbid curiosity of the human mind goes a step farther, and seeks to picture Blanche--not the Blanche of Blanche’s vivid imagination, but Blanche herself. Two alternatives present themselves. She may be a stout little milliner in a Camden-town shop; or--_horribile dictu!_--a waggish cook, with a turned-up nose, underdone arms and cheeks to match. The ideal Blanche fades away as we contemplate these possibilities. We pity Albert. We hope he will not waste his hardly-earned money in the vanities of photography, and cordially wish him a comfortable married state with a more earthly maiden, now that this too celestial vision dies back into dream-land. There is but one young person who approaches the ideal Blanche; and she calls herself ‘Sparkling with Gems.’ She is (on her own authority, be it always understood) a young, pretty, and accomplished Irish girl, with blue eyes, pearly teeth, and a wealth of golden ringlets, who is considered very stylish and graceful-looking, is of a loving disposition, and will have an income in her own right, and she wishes for the carte-de-visite of a young gentleman, who must be tall, dark, and handsome, of good family and position, and either of the military or medical profession. ‘Kill or cure’ is this young lady’s principle in choosing a husband; but we should say that so attractive a bride, with a wealth of golden ringlets, an income in her own right, and what not, ought certainly to fall into the hands (or arms) of a dashing young officer, whose want of an income in his own right is generally the chief drawback from the amenities of his profession.” Constance is already possessed of £500 a year, and limits her hopes to a husband with £200 of income. But he must be fair, of the middle height, and nice-looking. Eunice has no money at all; but she has very dark hair and eyes, rosy complexion, and is domestic. Here again our cynic shows his scepticism: “Had the indefinite article been placed before the last word in her catalogue of qualities, the description would probably have been complete.” Poor Jane says: “Why should I become a nun against my wish, merely because my father wishes it? I suppose he wishes to get married again, and I am in his way. I can say without flattery that I am near twenty, have a very graceful figure, very handsome, and between the medium height, a first-class pianist, and capable of making any gentleman a good wife. I possess no money. I am a lady, very domestic, and am quite certain that I am worthy of a good husband.” Poor Jane! her notions of the descriptive are rather vague, and so are her ideas of what is a lady. But as we once knew a writer of stories for the periodical in which her description appears who considered it beneath the dignity of a gentleman to spell properly, Jane is, perhaps, quite right in her estimate of herself according to the code under which she was instructed. Some of the gentlemen in this same catalogue deserve attention. As a rule, they seem to consider “proputty” the best qualification, though if other advantages are thrown in they will not be objected to. Let us pick out from the herd Gauntlet, who says that he is a gentleman of good standing in society, a widower, forty, but looks much younger, of middle height, highly respected in his own neighbourhood, and is possessed of upwards of £8000 at command; he wishes to meet with a lady younger than himself, and with means equal to his own. Then there is R. S., who has £100 a year, is of like opinion as to the proportion of money his bride ought to bring, and would like to become acquainted with a young lady of similar income, or one who has a talent for elocution or singing. Our author, after exhausting his list, admits that the young gentlemen who advertise in the penny journals are far less mercenary than the young ladies. “The latter betray quite a rapacity with regard to a good income, are very explicit about it, and put down in plain figures the precise sum which they think their charms are worth. By what means the acquaintanceship begun in these advertising columns is continued and completed we are unable to say. As a preliminary the editor kindly undertakes the charge of photographs; but of the steps by which the contracting parties advance to the goal of their wishes we know nothing. We should think that the proprietors of the journal ought to keep an attorney on the premises, to see that the gentlemen who offer £8000 are acting in good faith.” Had further inspection been given to the page in which these requisitions appear, the critic would have learned that, when second steps are taken, communication is made through a newspaper belonging to the same proprietary as the penny journal, and would have seen that “all advertisements must be prepaid.” But we are beginning at the wrong end, and must retrace our steps for the purpose of renewing acquaintance with our old friend Houghton, the father of English advertising, who, in his _Collection_ of July 19, 1695, says:-- ⁂ I have undertaken to advertize all sorts of Things that are honourable, and what follows is not otherwise, and I am well paid for it: ☞ A ^Gentleman^ about 30 Years of Age, that says he has a ^Very Good Estate^, would willingly ^Match^ Himself to some ^Young Gentlewoman^ that has a Fortune of £3000 or thereabout, And he will make Settlement to content. When it shall appear that I am candid and no otherwise concerned than in bringing two Elderly Persons to a Treaty; and the nine Days Wonder and Laughter (usually attending new Things) are over, and that Nobody shall know Anything of the Matter, but where I shall reasonably believe they are in good earnest; then ’tis probable such Advertisements may prove very useful. A ^Young Man^ about 25 Years of Age, in a very good Trade, and whose Father will make him worth £1000, would willingly embrace a suitable ^Match^. He has been brought up a Dissenter with his Parents, and is a sober Man. It seems the public either did not believe in the reality of these advertisements, or were suspicious of the advertisers, for a few weeks after the editor thought necessary to declare again:-- ⁂ _These Proposals for Matches are real, and I do promise to manage them and such like with so much Secresie and Prudence that none shall discourse with their best Friends, with more Confidence of Fidelity than with me, let them be of what Rank soever._ Notwithstanding these honest statements, Houghton appears to have been sadly teased on account of this innovation, for shortly after the above he once more attempted an explanation:-- I thought what I said before about Matches, was very intelligible, but I find otherwise: The Case is thus: A. comes to me and says: his Friend has a Kinsman that he would be glad to have match’d, and he is a sober, well-bred, comely, understanding Man, and in so good an Employment, that with his Fortune he shall deserve a vertuous, well-bred, discreet, comely Wife with a Fortune of £1000, but his Kinsman has not much Acquaintance and is bashful. This I publish and then comes B. and says his Friend has a Kinswoman qualified as above, and he would gladly match her to such if it be real. Upon this I bring the two that speak to me, together, and if they can understand each other they carry on the Match: and if it succeed, I shall expect some small Consideration, and this is what I intend to be concerned in the Matter. This explanation seems to have been thought satisfactory, and no doubt eligible parties left their names and addresses with him, for a few weeks after the _Collection for Improvement of Husbandry and Trade_ contained the following:-- I know of several Men and Women whose Friends would gladly have them match’d, which I’ll endeavour to do, as from Time to Time I shall hear of such whose Circumstances are likely to agree; and I’ll assure such as will come to me it shall be done with all the Honour and Secrecy imaginable. Their own Parents shall not manage it more to their Satisfaction, and the more comes to me the better I shall be able to serve them. We have already, in an early portion of this book, dilated on the claims Houghton has on the gratitude of past and present advertisers, and so we will pass on to the next specimen on our list, which appears in the _Gazetteer_ of December 14, 1771:-- TO GENTLEMEN OF FORTUNE. A MOST advantageous Opportunity now offers to any young Gentleman of Character and independent Fortune; the Advertiser of this will introduce such to a most accomplished young Lady of Fortune, and greater Expectancy. None but a real Gentleman will succeed: therefore it is desired no other would apply. Letters directed to P. L. at the Nottingham Coffee-house, opposite Great Turnstile, Holborn, mentioning their present Condition, and where to inquire of the specified Particulars, signed with their own Name, will have due Regard and Honour, and Secrecy observed as it is required. From this and kindred notices in the papers of a hundred years ago or so, it would appear that certain young ladies were kept, like the fabled damsels of old, each in an enchanted castle, until some knight should appear to break the spell. With just this difference, that not chivalry but cheque-books was the requisition, and that the dragon, instead of being punished by the avenging sword, was rewarded with the “usual percentage.” In 1775 the following handbill must have been pretty familiar to residents in London:-- _No. 2, Dover Street, St. James’s._ MARRIAGE TREATIES Carried on, and solely calculated for such Persons as can give the best Proof of being (totally) at their own Disposal. THE open undisguised Manner in which this truly important Business is pursued, will best appear by the following Plan, which is humbly submitted to the Judgment of the Public. Negociation of Money is also transacted at the House, where widow Ladies, Clergy, and other Gentlemen, may possibly be accommodated with Sums on granting Annuities, or otherwise, as may be agreed upon. The great Utility of this Undertaking, especially that Department of it relative to Marriage, is so very striking, that it seems to bespeak the Approbation of this great Metropolis, where _Business_ may almost be said to have rivall’d _Marriage_; for it not only robs the Gentlemen of their Time, but the Ladies of their Lovers. Now this House in Dover Street is established to supply the Time that is wanting; and Courtships may be carried on by Way of Proxy to their final Issue: thus will the Gentleman save his Time, and the Lady gain a Husband; and it will be readily allowed that happy Marriages are the very Cement of Society, the Promoters of Virtue, and may be truly said to strike at the very Root of Dissipation. Upon these honourable, these eligible Principles, it is that the Managers of this Undertaking ground all their Hopes; nor have they ventured to announce it to the Public without the maturest Deliberation, after having considered it in every Point of View; and dare assure the World, that the most upright Conduct, greatest Delicacy and inviolable Secrecy shall be observed in all their Proceedings; and as this Plan bids fair for the Happiness of Thousands, so will it soon put a Stop to those futile, trifling (not to say dangerous) Advertisements that so frequently invade the public Ear, and which seem but too often calculated to deceive. As to the Proprietors themselves, some of them are well known in the City, and others are not totally Strangers in the polite Circle; which puts it still more in their Power to promote the Design, and that not more upon the Principles of Love and Honour, than those of Sense and Discretion. Each Person who appears at Dover Street (aforesaid) will be shown into a separate Apartment. Such as cannot attend in Person, are requested to signify their Intention by their Friend in Writing; and it is hoped and presumed that such Recital will be made with the utmost Exactness; and not only the Situation in Life, but the Age, Constitution, and Religion of the Party set forth with all possible Accuracy and Candour. It hardly seems needful to add, that so much Time and Thought cannot be supposed to have been laid out without a reasonable Recompense; therefore it will be quite necessary, when the Principals do not appear (which may not unfrequently happen), that their Agents shall have been apprised that the Terms upon which this truly important Matter is commenced, is no more than FIVE GUINEAS, to be paid to the Managers on taking down the Minutes of the Business; and no more is to be paid till after the Matter is completed, either by supplying the Sum of Money according to Agreement, or by the Marriage of the Parties in Question: and although the Managers claim no more than FIVE GUINEAS, yet (it is presumed) so small a Sum will not be deemed an adequate Compensation, when Business of Consequence is to be done, and Persons of Condition and liberal Sentiment concerned. The Proprietors are to be spoken with from eleven in the Morning till four in the Afternoon, and from seven in the Evening till ten at Night (as many cannot attend before that Time) every Day, Sunday excepted; and as it is manifest that many Gentlemen both in Court and City, are so absorbed in Business, that though they are happy in the Thought of Marriage, and every Way qualified to engage in it, yet may have neither Time nor Temper for the tedious Forms of Courtship; and as it is also manifest that many excellent Women are, in a great Measure, lost to Society, lost (as we may say) to the tender Joys of Hymen; and who, tied down by Custom to be passive, cannot be first Movers in a Point so delicate; to shun, therefore, all unnecessary Forms (for true Sincerity, we know, cannot exist with too much Ceremony), it is hoped that the above Expedient will be adopted, and that each Person, in Town or Country, who employs an Agent, will signify their Intention so clearly, and candidly, that the Managers may have it in their Power to compleat the Business, and that as soon as possible. And although it is said above that the Ladies cannot be first Movers in some certain Points, yet, sure, they are not debarred the use of Agents; nor does true Modesty demand the Sacrifice of Sense. _Note_, Sums of Money, from Five Hundred Pounds to any Amount whatsoever, may be had, and that upon the shortest Notice, and most equitable Terms. Every Proposal that is practicable will be compleated without Trifling or Delay. It would be superfluous to trouble the Public about the Characters of the Proprietors of this House for Honour and Delicacy, as it could not possibly subsist without such a Foundation; therefore the Nobility, Gentry, and other Persons may depend on being accommodated with any Sum, as above, without Loss of Time. Persons who have Monies to lend, as well as those who have Occasion to borrow, may both be accommodated at Dover Street aforesaid. These handbills being largely circulated, and advertisements being inserted in the principal newspapers at the same time, the establishment enjoyed its full share of notice. At a masked ball given by Mrs Cornelys,[46] on the 16th of July 1776, one of the characters was a Jew, with a label in his hat inscribed with the words “Marriage Treaties,” who delivered to the company the following card:-- THE MARRIAGE BROKER Accommodates Ladies and Gentlemen with everything in the matrimonial way which their Hearts can wish for (Virtue and Money only excepted), and that at first sight of the Parties, having fitted up a variety of very commodious Apartments.--He deals either in the ton or City Stile. If a difficult case, apply to our Attorney General, who attends me here in Person. N.B. I only charge five Guineas poundage per couple. MARRIAGE TREATIES. Ye Nymphs forlorn, who pine away in Shades! Ye mournful Widows, wailing for--Brocades! Coxcombs who sigh for--Mode! and sighing Wits! Bucks of St. James’s! and ye Half-moon’d Cits! Ye old and young--the ugly and the fair! To Hymen’s Shrine haste, sacrifice despair. Let Law divorce, tyrannic Husbands rail, Hence dare their Ire!--for here’s enough for sale. Let Virtue’s mask the Wife awhile pursue, Here’s fresh Supply--here Wives of ev’ry Hue! Black, white, red, grey--the bright, the dull, the witty! Here’s Dames for Courtiers, misses for the City! In the August number of the _Town and Country Magazine_, 1776, a correspondent who signs himself “Lothario,” wrote a letter to warn the public against the Dover Street Marriage Office. It states that, having paid his five guineas, he had his name entered on the list of candidates for matrimony, and that in due course of time he received a letter, intimating that a lady, conforming minutely to the conditions for which he had stipulated, wanted a husband exactly like himself. The lady, after some formalities, gave him an appointment in Gray’s Inn Gardens, describing her dress; and in order that she might not be mistaken in the gentleman (for till then the parties had not seen each other), she desired that he should have a large nosegay in his hand, bound round with a blue ribbon, which he was to present to her as an introduction to their conference. Unfortunately the lady turned out to be an old acquaintance of the gay Lothario, and by no means the sort of person he could have desired for a wife. This exposition of the matrimonial swindle was answered by the company, with the following advertisement in the _Morning Post_, October 17, 1776:-- TO THE CANDID AND IMPARTIAL. ON perusing the Town and Country Magazine of August last, Page 408, there appears a Letter in which the Author throws out a very illiberal, unjust Assertion, viz., that any new Plan or Scheme that is offered to the Public is founded upon Imposition; and then goes on to recite an elaborate Tale of his having paid five Guineas to the Managers of the Marriage-Plan, and of his obtaining the promise of a Wife with £10,000 on declaring himself worth treble that Sum. Now the Managers of that Undertaking are called upon to assert, that they are equally unacquainted with the Villa or with the Lady he mentions (not but it would be their Pride and Boast for such as resolve to return to the Paths of Virtue and Honour); and they further declare that every Line of this Letter that reflects the least Dishonour on them, and that does not set their Undertaking in the fairest Point of View, is utterly groundless. _Note_, The Managers of said Plan, in Dover Street, finding that the Payment of five Guineas has been thought by some too much on the Commencement, have resolved to reduce that Payment to the Sum of two Guineas for the Future to each Gentleman who may apply; and to give the World some Proof that the Managers are no Deceivers, they will return, on Demand, the three Guineas overplus, to such who have paid the five above mentioned. Ladies of Reputation are invited gratis, and the Managers shall think themselves highly honoured, as well as amply rewarded, by their Appearance, which must add true Dignity to a Plan where their Felicity is consulted, without trespassing on their Delicacy. ⁂ Counsellor Taite, one of the Managers, will carefully answer all Letters, or other Applications relative to Money Negotiations, and has the Disposal of several large Sums for that Purpose. Like its predecessors and followers in quackery and cheating, the Dover Street establishment died of itself in due course, and its promoters doubtless turned their attention to new swindles. In the _Daily Advertiser_ of 1777 the following is discovered, and is noticeable for the horse-couping manner in which the young gentleman speaks of the future bride who is to assist him in setting up housekeeping. He must have had some trouble in finding such a thoroughbred filly as he requires:-- MATRIMONY. WANTED, by a young Gentleman just beginning House-keeping, a Lady, between eighteen and twenty-five Years of Age, with a good Education, and a Fortune not less than 5,000_l._; sound Wind and Limb, Five Feet Four Inches without her Shoes; not fat, nor yet too lean; a clear Skin; sweet Breath, with good Set of Teeth; no Pride, nor Affectation; not very talkative, nor one that is deemed no Scold; but of a Spirit to resent an Affront; of a charitable Disposition; not over fond of Dress, though always decent and clean; that will entertain her Husband’s Friends with Affability and Cheerfulness, and prefer his Company to public Diversions and gadding about; one who can keep his Secrets, that he may open his Heart to her without reserve on all Occasions; that can extend domestic Expenses with Economy, as Prosperity advances, without Ostentation; and retrench them with Cheerfulness, if Occasion should require. Any Lady disposed to Matrimony, answering this Description, is desired to direct for Y. Z. at the Baptist’s Head Coffee-House, Aldermanbury. N.B. None but Principals will be treated with, nor need any apply that are deficient in any one Particular: the Gentleman can make adequate Return, and is, in every Respect, deserving a Lady with the above Qualifications. Getting on towards the present day, we come across an advertisement in the _Courier_ of May 1815 from a lady who, like the gentleman we have just attended to, wants a good deal for the money. Unlike him, however, she is not young, and so should know better than to ask for a combination of impossibilities in a husband, when, according to her own showing, she should be glad to get a very ordinary creature indeed:-- MATRIMONY.--A Lady, tremblingly alive to the impropriety of this address, is nevertheless compelled, from the family discomforts she now endures, to adopt this method of obtaining a friend and protector; and she is quite certain, that a candid explanation of her situation, will excuse, with a liberal mind, this apparently indecorous appeal. The Advertiser has been married, is middle-aged, of pleasing appearance, highly educated, and accomplished; but, she flatters herself, the regulations of her heart and mind exceed all outward recommendation: her income is very small, and only just sufficient to enable her to make the appearance of a gentlewoman. The being she is desirous of looking up to for happiness, must be, by birth, far above the middling class of society; and all professions, except the Church, the Army, or Navy, will be objected to; about forty, but not under that age; very tall, of gentlemanlike appearance, and possessing that polish, and those habits, that are only to be acquired in good company; of an unimpeached, moral, respectable, and honourable character, fond of retirement and domestic life. Fortune not being the object of the Advertiser, she requires his income only to be equal to his own wants; and she will never lessen it. As the most serious and painful causes have occasioned this Address, it is earnestly solicited that no one will reply to it from curiosity or amusement; and persons who seek fortune, connections, or any other worldly advantage, will only be disappointed by noticing it; but should it meet the eye of a being whose mind is sufficiently cultivated to consider a well-born, elegant, and accomplished companion, and sincere friend, the first treasure in life, from such she will be glad to hear; and real names and addresses will be considered a pledge of sincerity that will not be abused. Letters must be post paid, and addressed to O. P. Q., Two-penny Post-office, Blandford-street, Portman-square. In December 1818 there appeared in _Galignani_ an application from the scion of a distinguished though unfortunate family who was anxious to enter into the holy state. It was called OFFER OF MARRIAGE. COUNT SARSFIELD, Lord Lucan, descendant of the royal branches of Lorraine and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, wishes to contract an alliance with a lady capable from her rank and talents of supporting the dignity and titles, which an alliance so honourable would confer on her. Address, Poste Restante à Paris. The name of Sarsfield is highly distinguished in the military annals of Ireland: during the eventful period subsequent to the expulsion of James II. from England, Sarsfield was General-in-Chief of the Irish troops, and was one of those who took advantage of the capitulation of Limerick to transfer himself and family to another country. But for all his great name and historical associations, this Sarsfield was but a poor adventurer; for he did not succeed in getting any rich parvenue to nibble at his bait, as is evidenced by this, which seven years afterwards appeared in a London newspaper:-- COUNT SARSFIELD LUCAN, lineal descendant of the royal line of Lorraine and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, desires to join in an alliance of marriage with a lady whose qualities and abilities will enable her to support the rank and titles she will obtain by this honourable alliance. Address to Count Sarsfield Lucan, Poste Restante à Paris. In a handbill circulated about the year 1820, a “new matrimonial plan” is ventilated. The advertiser states that he possesses “an establishment where persons of all classes who are anxious to sweeten life by repairing to the _altar of Hymen_, have an opportunity of meeting with proper partners.... Their personal attendance is not absolutely necessary, a statement of facts is all that is required at first.” The method propounded was for all anxious to secure husbands or wives to become subscribers to the institution, the amount of subscription to be regulated according to the class in which they place themselves, the classes being described thus in the plan:-- _Ladies._ 1st Class. I am twenty years of age, heiress to an estate in the county of Essex of the value of 30,000_l._, well educated, and of domestic habits; of an agreeable, lively disposition, and genteel figure. Religion that of my future husband. 2nd Class. I am thirty years of age, a widow, in the grocery line in London--have children; of middle stature, full made, fair complexion and hair, temper agreeable, worth 3,000_l._ 3rd Class. I am tall and thin, a little lame in the hip, of a lively disposition, conversible, twenty years of age, live with my father, who, if I marry with his consent, will give me 1,000_l._ 4th Class. I am twenty years of age; mild disposition and manners; allowed to be personable. 5th Class. I am sixty years of age; income limited; active, and rather agreeable. _Gentlemen._ 1st Class. A young gentleman with dark eyes and hair; stout made; well educated; have an estate of 500_l._ per annum in the county of Kent; besides 10,000_l._ in three per cent. consolidated annuities; am of an affable disposition, and very affectionate. 2nd Class. I am forty years of age, tall and slender, fair complexion and hair, well tempered and of sober habits, have a situation in the Excise, of 300_l._ per annum, and a small estate in Wales of the annual value of 150_l._ 3rd Class. A tradesman in the city of Bristol, in a ready-money business, turning 150_l._ per week at a profit of 10 per cent., pretty well tempered, lively, and fond of home. 4th Class. I am fifty-eight years of age; a widower, without encumbrance; retired from business upon a small income; healthy constitution; and of domestic habits. 5th Class. I am twenty-five years of age; a mechanic of sober habits; industrious, and of respectable connections. It is presumed that the public will not find any difficulty in describing themselves; if they should, they will have the assistance of the managers, who will be in attendance at the office, No. 5, Great St. Helens, Bishopsgate Street, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, between the hours of eleven and three o’clock.--Please to inquire for Mr Jameson, up one pair of stairs. All letters to be post paid. The subscribers are to be furnished with a list of descriptions, and when one occurs likely to suit, the parties may correspond; and if mutually approved, the interview may be afterwards arranged. About 1840, some adventurers anxious to emulate the success achieved by matrimonial agencies in Paris and other towns on the Continent, set up an office in the neighbourhood of Cavendish Square, and issued a prospectus, which stated that it was written by a clergyman of the Church of England, who was also a graduate of the University of Oxford--a kind of double guarantee as to purity of morals and excellence of style--and which, after setting forth the advantages of such an establishment properly conducted, and the success which had attended on similar ventures in other countries where people were less prejudiced, went on thus:-- It is conducted by a gentleman and his wife, both persons of the highest character, respectability, and connexions. They have separate houses at some distance from each other, at which the husband gives interviews to gentlemen and his wife to ladies. The negotiations are conducted in conformity with printed rules, from which not the slightest deviation will be allowed, and everything is managed in a manner which cannot offend the most fastidious delicacy, or deter the most easily excited diffidence. It is quite impossible that ladies or gentlemen applying to the establishment can see each other, until a meeting be finally and satisfactorily arranged, and all effects of idle curiosity are effectually checked. The rules are to be published for ten shillings--the price is set upon them for no other reason than as some guard against the thoughtless, the idle or the ill disposed--at Mr Proudfoot’s, 63, Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square, and they entitle the purchaser to a speedy interview. In the same year an advertisement was published in the papers directing the ignorant in such matters where to apply in the event of their wishing to obtain the benefits of the agency and the services of the clergyman of the Church of England and graduate of the University of Oxford:-- MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE.--The Pamphlets, Rules, and Regulations of this Establishment for promoting Matrimonial Alliances, may be obtained by applying to A. B. care of Mr. Proudfoot, 63, Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square. Price of the pamphlet one shilling. The Portfolio of February is now ready, containing letters from gentlemen in every sphere of life, possessing property from £400 to £3000 per annum, and may be purchased or inspected by ladies, free of charge, at the agent’s, 63, Mortimer Street, as above. Notwithstanding the honours of the clergyman and the contents of the portfolio, the old-fashioned and insulated notions of English folk were too much for the Alliance, which in due course faded from sight and recollection. Possibly the graduate sought those happier climes to which he refers in his exordium, and there made two into one as often as he could wish. Ten years or more after Mr Proudfoot and his reverend friend had departed from the scene, the following, which is suggestive of a still smaller agency, appeared. It is a unique specimen of the use to which artful and designing folks can under any set professions put advertisements:-- TO GIRLS OF FORTUNE.--MATRIMONY.--A bachelor, young, amiable, handsome, of good family, and accustomed to move in the highest sphere of society, is embarrassed in his circumstances. Marriage is his only hope of extrication. This advertisement is inserted by one of his friends. Ingratitude was never one of his faults, and he will study for the remainder of his life to prove his estimation of the confidence placed in him. Address, post paid L. L. H. L., 47 King Street, Soho.--N.B. The witticisms of cockney scribblers deprecated. This was evidently concocted by a man who knew what would be most likely to attract silly spinsters of a romantic turn of mind and independent means. Did he succeed? We cannot say, but sincerely hope not, as the professions are too good to be sincere, and his pretensions are pitched too high to be genuine. The following has been already compared with the handsome bachelor’s effusion:-- MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT. I hereby give notice to all unmarried women that I, John Hobnail, am at this writing five and forty, a widower, and in want of a wife. As I wish no one to be mistaken, I have a good cottage with a couple of acres of land, for which I pay 2_l._ a-year. I have five children, four of them old enough to be in employment; three sides of bacon and some pigs ready for market. I should like to have a woman fit to take care of her house when I am out. I want no second family. She may be between 40 and 50 if she likes. A good sterling woman would be preferred, who would take care of the pigs. This was originally given in _Blackwood_ over twenty years ago. John Hobnail is plain-spoken, but he is evidently honest, and no greater contrast could be afforded to L. L. H. L. than John’s desires for a mate. Here is no high-falutin’ nonsense, and romance-reading young ladies were doubtlessly horrified at the use to which John would put a “good sterling woman.” But there may, after all, be heroism in pig-feeding; and many a brave lady would quail before a hungry sow and her litter. Some might also object to the contiguity in which Mr Hobnail places his porkers and his children. Differing from John Hobnail very widely, yet in the same agricultural interest, is the author of the next application, which a good many years nearer the present time than the _Blackwood_ specimen, appeared in a Yorkshire journal. The effusion is in its way almost as curious as the two are which immediately precede it--at least we think so, whatever our readers may do:-- WANTED a WIFE, by a handsome young FARMER who is desirous of becoming domesticated, and of enjoying the society of a young, good-tempered female, who would tempt him away from his market festivities by her pleasing and gently persuasive manners. She must not exceed 20, unless she be a widow, whose family must not exceed six. Want of beauty would be no kind of objection, provided she possessed from 1,000_l._ to 2,000_l._ His rent, tithes, and taxes are all paid up, and he is wholly free from debt. All that he requires is love, peace, and happiness. Apply ---- near Tenbury. All he requires is love, peace, and happiness. Love of course includes beauty; and so we can manage to understand that his object really is love and beauty, or a thousand pounds, and two if possible. How he can expect peace, to say nothing of happiness, when he gives a widow with six children a chance, passes our comprehension. But some men will do anything for money, and we regret to say that this handsome young farmer appears, after all, to be of a most mercenary description. While we are so far north, we may as well turn to Sheffield, in which town, about five years ago, a very amusing police case, having its origin in a matrimonial advertisement, was heard. The complaint was laid against three young men of the town of blades, named respectively George Herd, Joseph Fidler, and Arthur Harrop, who were charged by John Wilmer Lambert, “for that they did unlawfully, maliciously, and knowingly, with intent to provoke a breach of the peace, cause to be inserted in a certain public newspaper, called the _Sheffield Independent_, a certain false, scandalous, and defamatory statement of libel of and concerning one John Wilmer Lambert, and against the peace of our Lady the Queen.” The libel thus described was as follows:-- TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN.--A young man wishes to meet with a partner for life. Any young lady feeling disposed, apply by letter, WILMER LAMBERT, auger filer, St Mary’s-road, Sheffield. The following are some of the answers the unhappy Wilmer received from the fair ones of Sheffield: “Aperil 5, 1869. Sir--seeing Advertisement In the _Independent_ that you are in Wants a partner for _life_ so i hoffer myself as a Candate But Befoare there Is much More caresspondenc I should like an intearew with _you_. Notes the adress....” A more dignified lady says: “Wilmer Lambert: The under singed quite feel disposed as _you call it_. I am considered by my friends good looking and they think I shall make a good wife. I am the age 22 and dark. If W. L. answers this pleas to send cart de visite. Address by letter.” The next correspondent is anxious to make a match, if not to find a husband for herself: “Sir,--I with pleasure saw it advertised in the _Independent_ to-day you was in wants of a partner and would be obliged if you will acpt Miss A. M. A----, tall, dark hair, dark eyes, and what the world calls good looking (age 23), or my sister who is (24) good looking. A widdow no children. A fortune at her own disposal willed to her by her late husband Mr. R----, or if you would Prefer a light young lady my friend Miss C. M. C----, who is at present residing in Sheffield, but is scotch, light hair, blue eyes, and affectionate will accept you please to answer in Tuesday _Independent_ and you shall hear fearther from me.--Please not delay as I shall be ancouse to know which you prefer.” This lady’s anxiety to rush in and try her hand at match-making will perhaps in some way account for the contemptuous tone of the “but is scotch,” though, continuing the description, we find that even the Scotch young lady has forgotten the caution peculiar to her people, and so distasteful to her match-making friend, and has decided to accept the auger-filer. A fifth is also affectionate, but cautious: “My dear fren Iv Sean in to Day Nuse Paper you Wanting A wife I shall be glad for a good husborn But I should Be very Glad to now you age firs 2 I should like to now Wether you are Good temper. My age is 24 years and a little Incom for Life and if you are Really in Wants of A Wife I should be happy to seay you after you Have Sent you Liknes and then I will meat you at my sisters and then We Will talk the Matter Over. Short aquantress Som times makes Long Repentnc. But, I Would Mak you Comfortable Wile I Liv and A Little After I am Dead Weakly Incom PS Excuse my Riting PS Anserr by Next Post.” This is indeed a gem which would have gladdened the heart of Isaac Pitman; and with a wife who will make her husband comfortable after death, we must conclude our examples. There are other letters, one from “a publican’s daughter, twenty-three years of age, and as no objection to be a Partner if bouth sides sues tgether;” and several which bear the appearance of having been written for the purpose of hoaxing. After some little time spent in hearing the case, the defendants agreed to apologise and pay the costs, upon which Wilmer Lambert, auger-filer, felt that his honour was appeased, and stated that he would withdraw from the prosecution. In _Belgravia_, of six or seven years back, there is an article on matrimonial advertisements and the answers to correspondents which are peculiar to certain of the penny periodicals. It enters so thoroughly into the subject, and contains so much information as well as amusement, that a selection from it will be found agreeable. Speaking of the “answers,” the writer says, after alluding to one or two of a different sort: “By far the greater number of correspondents are, however, concerned about matrimonial affairs. The _London Journal_ is, perhaps, the periodical which does the largest business of this kind. In a single copy there are no fewer than twenty-three paragraphs relating to this subject, many of them referring to four or five separate correspondents, besides two long lists of announcements of cartes-de-visite wanted and received. The study of these paragraphs is curious and edifying. ‘P. Y. R.,’ who seems to be a favoured personage, has in some previous number asked for a wife. In reply he is told that ‘Nellie Vernon, twenty-two, accomplished, rather tall, dark, and considered handsome; an English Gem, nineteen, pretty, lady-like, and the daughter of an independent gentleman; Emilie R., twenty, handsome, and of good family; and Eveline de Courcy, eighteen, fair and pretty, and will have a nice fortune--wish to correspond and receive the carte-de-visite of the favoured one.’ Next comes the announcement of a forlorn swain. He tells the sympathetic readers of his favourite ‘weekly’ that he ‘is twenty-three, tall, dark, and good-tempered, and has an income of £500 a year,’ and he asks to correspond with ‘a pretty and amiable young lady.’ One of the softer sex comes next. ‘Emma G., a well-informed girl of nineteen, rather dark, genteel, five feet eight inches in height, a domestic servant, is very much in want of some one to love.’ The domestic servant is, however, eclipsed by the lady whose announcement of her wishes is to be found in the same column. ‘Queen Adeline’ flies at higher game--evidently desires, in a word, one of the earls or marquises who figure so magnificently in the serial novels of the journal--and thus expresses her wishes: she is, she says, ‘tall, dark, handsome, and has £400 a year,’ and she would like to have ‘the carte-de-visite of a tall, dark, and handsome man, not too old. She is twenty-two. He must have well-formed and small hands and feet, and plenty of money.’ It is difficult to imagine that these announcements and their like are published in good faith. Of course, we can understand why ‘Emma G.’ or ‘Sergeant D.,’ a non-commissioned officer of the line, should publish their wants in this very open way; but as for the ladies and gentlemen with £400 and £500 a year, who appeal to the editor for partners for life, _que diable viennent-ils faire dans cette galère?_ Is it possible that there are people in the world who, unless they have some irremovable stain upon their characters, find any difficulty in disposing of their incomes and themselves amongst their own friends? “This is probably a sufficiently business-like way of arranging a ‘matrimonial alliance’ for the tastes of most people, but there are even more commercial methods in existence. People who want wives or husbands sometimes find it advisable to make their wants public by advertisement--a method of proceeding which is very commonly practised in some of the northern and manufacturing districts. Matrimonial advertisements are excluded from the respectable journals of the metropolis, but the scarcely less influential and respectable journals of the cotton capital insert them readily and receive the answers. They are generally very matter-of-fact--romance would, indeed, be out of place in such a connection. Now and then some of them are, however, comic enough. ‘A handsome young gentleman, aged twenty-three, wishes to correspond with a young lady with not less than £300 a year,’ was an advertisement which appeared several times in one of the journals of Cottonopolis. Whether the advertiser’s expectations were ever realised the present writer is, of course, unable to say; but from his own experience he is inclined to think it rather doubtful. Some few months back, having nothing very particular to do, he inserted an advertisement in a certain Manchester newspaper, stating that ‘a young professional man, handsome, amiable, and intelligent, and possessing an income of £500 a year, was anxious to meet with a suitable mate.’ The replies came in shoals. Within four days, between sixty and seventy letters were received, all, with one exception, evidently _bonâ fide_. The exception was a high-flown composition written in a disguised hand, and on paper profusely scented with musk. Of the remainder, the majority were rather touching. A great many came from servant girls, who always included two things in their applications: first, they declared that their parents were eminently respectable--generally professional men--and that it was only through family misfortunes that they had been compelled to ‘go to service;’ and secondly, they treated their correspondent to a great deal of bad spelling and worse grammar. The following is a verbatim copy of one of these communications:--‘Dear Sir. Having notised your advertizment we beg to offer ourselves. Are 2 sisters Lottie twenty one and dark hand tall and Tottie fair and pritty which I never hexpected to go to survice having always been brought up quite genteel. I am Sir Yours and c. ---- ----. P.S. Please adress your letter _Miss_ ----.’ Young ladies in shops and warehouses contributed somewhat liberally to the batch of answers. They generally wrote the flashy hand taught at ‘young ladies’ seminaries,’ and sometimes quoted poetry of a tender character. The grammar of their epistles was, however, somewhat dubious, and their spelling worse than that of a charity-school boy. Strangest of all was the following, which was written in a beautifully firm and lady-like hand upon good paper:--‘I have seen your challenge to the ladies in the ----, and I fancy it must be genuine, and that you expect it to be taken up in all frankness.... I am twenty-five, and am the daughter of a solicitor. I have been well educated, and you may judge of my personal appearance by the enclosed carte-de-visite. I shall be entitled on my marriage to about £5,000 in the funds, and at my mother’s death I expect to receive a similar amount. My reason for this bold and perhaps imprudent letter is that I am tired of home, which is too stiff and formal for me. If you would like to know more about me you must give me all particulars about yourself. Write to Miss ----, under cover to ----.’ The portrait enclosed was that of a really handsome girl of about the age mentioned in the letter. The name given was one not altogether unknown to the writer, and the person under cover to whom the reply was to be sent was evidently a servant. It need scarcely be said that the matter went no further, and that the carte was returned forthwith. Still, it is rather melancholy to think of what may be the fate of this girl. She evidently suspected no harm, and she confided in an utter stranger with singular frankness and simplicity. In all human probability she would become the prey of the first fortune-hunting scoundrel who came across her path, unless she had, as the writer sincerely hopes, a big brother with a strong arm and a thick stick.” We have before us at the present moment an accumulation of the very extraordinary applications for wives and husbands which are constantly appearing in the cheap publications of the day, but the specimens already given will doubtless be found sufficient for the purpose. Two from our heap, however, we feel in duty bound to give, not because they are very different from the rest we have garnered, but because they are fair samples of a style often adopted by the Benedicks and Beatrices of the _London Journal_. One is from a lady and the other from a gentleman. Let us take the lady first:-- AGENORIA says that she has natural golden-brown hair, fair oval face, laughing mischievous eyes, dark arched eyebrows, roguish expression of countenance, is eighteen, ladylike, sensible, merry, good-natured, highly respectable, and has good expectations. She longs to be married to a tall, studious, benevolent, affectionate, well-principled gentleman, who would think it a pleasure to instruct and assist her endeavours to obtain a thorough knowledge of English, French, and drawing; and in return she would try to be an apt pupil, and a loving and obedient wife. The pseudonyms adopted by these young ladies are often provokingly funny: sometimes loving hearts take the name of a favourite heroine, whose virtues and temptations, joys and sorrows, are at the time attracting their attention in the _Journal_; but sometimes they take higher flights, and in attempting high-sounding names they have heard, succeed in inventing others, just as the old chemists, in trying to discover the philosopher’s stone, found things much more valuable--with the difference, of course, that the new titles are only valuable to future writers of the fiction believed in most by the fair correspondents. Agenoria requires a good deal, but her effort is of the weakest compared with that of our next friend, who, provided he had a big stick, would prove himself a true hero--say on a box of eggs:-- L. S. W., twenty-one, dark, and considered handsome, lithe in figure, of the medium height, and of a good family, would like to receive the carte-de-visite of a young lady, a blond preferred. He is shortly going abroad, probably to Mexico, or some of the republics adjacent, where he intends to make a name and fortune. He is very ambitious, and intends joining an army where there is active service. He wants a wife who would encourage his plans and undertakings. One who would share with him the toils of a camp life, or who would rule in Courts. One who would receive homage from the savage tribes of Northern and Central America, or would maintain her husband’s position as an officer and gentleman of honour both at home and at Court. He is of a very loving disposition, though rather hasty, and to a lady who would do as he wished he would be an affectionate, loving husband, companion, and protector. That matrimonial clubs or agencies are still in existence is shown by a case tried quite recently before Sir James Hannen in the Divorce Court--a wife’s petition for a judicial separation on the ground of her husband’s cruelty. The counsel for the petitioner stated that she was a lady of property, residing in Liverpool, and that the respondent was a clerk in a firm in the same town. He was a member of a Matrimonial Club, whose object was to secure for its members wives with good fortunes; and as an instance of what kind of alliances result from the interference of these establishments, we give some of the evidence. The respondent, whose chief object was to get money, was very violent on finding soon after the marriage that his wife had not nearly so much as he had anticipated. He was guilty of drunkenness and assaults, and treated his wife in a very brutal manner. The petitioner said that her father died on Christmas Day, 1866. On his death she had an income of £400 for her separate use. She made the acquaintance of the respondent some two or three years before, and he was at that time a clerk in a firm of shipbrokers. At the marriage no settlement was made; but a few days after the respondent asked for any papers she might have. She gave him them. She had £675 in a building society, and he wrote out a form that she signed, and the money was transferred to him. He often said that £400 per annum was a very paltry sum, and that if he had a few thousands he could go into business. Petitioner’s mother had a considerable sum, and her name being the same, had led the defendant into the error of marrying a woman with only a “paltry £400 a year,” instead of a lot of ready money. Soon after the marriage he took to drinking, and was violent in his language. The latter, the petitioner believed, arose from his being disappointed at the smallness of her fortune. She found a letter of a very immoral character addressed to her husband. She was much annoyed, and sent the letter to the office. When the respondent returned he brought a friend with him, and used most violent language. After the friend had gone to bed the respondent pulled her on to the floor, bit her in the neck, ground her beads into powder, and bit a piece out of a glass. This latter act, it must be admitted, is a rather novel way of showing disappointment, even in matters like these. The friend was at once called for, and assisted to hold the disappointed man down. In August 1870 defendant tore a piece of skin from her arm. He had been drinking for some time, and tried to prevent her seeing her mother, who only lived a few hundred yards away. The mother was doubtless a sore point with him. He said that once a month was often enough to see her, but witness went more frequently. The family doctor saw the injuries which she sustained. In the same month the respondent called her very foul names, and threatened to strangle her and throw her out of the window. His threats were so violent that she never expected to see the morning. On one occasion he came home drunk, and partook of three large bottles of champagne. This would be a dangerous experiment for a sober man to make in these degenerate days. Afterwards he fell backwards, and she had to stay with him all night. In March 1871 she went to her mother’s to tea, and when she returned he used very bad language, and made all sorts of charges about her conduct, which were false. When sober, he said she ought not to take any notice of this. Her first child was born in 1870, and her medical adviser told her to go away. She was anxious to take the child with her, which her husband would not allow, and during her absence he sent it from home. On hearing of this she at once returned, and he refused to tell her where the child was, until she wrote a letter which he forced her to write. On a Sunday after this he returned home drunk, and when she remonstrated with him, he said that he was not half drunk, but soon would be so. He then took the decanters out of the cupboard, and threw them at her. This was, to say the least, eccentric, as a means to the end of drunkenness. She was so frightened at his conduct that she had to seek protection amongst neighbours. On the 20th of December witness was in the house alone with respondent, who threatened to kill her, stating that he often wished to do so, and now that they were alone there was a good opportunity. He then got hold of the carving-knife, and stood over her with it. He then said that would not do, but a pistol or razor would. Corroborative evidence as to the violence was given by the doctor who attended the petitioner, and noticed bruises on her; and by a servant who formerly lived with the parties to the suit. His lordship granted a decree of judicial separation, with costs, the wife to have the custody of the child. Marriage for money and money alone, without any consideration as to whether the contracting persons are at all suited to each other, is almost bound to end in unpleasantness, more especially when the fortune-hunter finds that he has married the daughter instead of the mother, and has only a “paltry £400 a year” and a little ready money to subsist on. There is at the present time in London a weekly newspaper specially devoted to the interests of those who wish to marry or to give in marriage, and as the copy we have before us under date May 9, 1874, is numbered 214, and is full of advertisements all referring to the holy state of matrimony, it is to be presumed that the supply is caused by a most undoubted demand for an organ of intercommunication between kindred souls which scorn to be trammelled by ordinary social restrictions, or to which conventionalities can bring no balm. Love is a fierce flame, and people who feel it burning within them, and know no object on whom to bestow the priceless blessing, are apt to try any short cut that offers itself, instead of biding their time and going the ordinary slow-coach road which lumbering old-fashioned etiquette suggests. Therefore we take up our paper with interest, and receive with pleasure the intimation that it is “a weekly journal devoted to the promotion of marriage and conjugal felicity.” We say pleasure advisedly, for most editors would have been satisfied to promote marriage, and have let the subsequent felicity look after itself. We must admit that we fail to find any further reference to the future happiness of couples in our copy; perhaps it is to be secured by a regular supply of the newspaper, so that those already done for may see how the remaining lovers are getting on. On the front page there are ten “rules and regulations” to be complied with by advertisers, the most important of which seems to be that “_bona fide_ notices from ladies and gentlemen desirous of marrying will be inserted at the rate of twelve stamps per forty words,” with a reduction by taking a quantity, and that “all introductions are given on the understanding that the lady and gentleman shall each pay a fee to the editor within a month after marriage.” Why these are called rules and regulations we don’t pretend to know. The editor also offers, as one of the rules, to give advice on the subject of courtship or marriage, by which it would appear that he has had an extended experience of both. Yet this supposition is hardly borne out by a request--also one of the ten regulations--for contributions “calculated to enlighten the public mind in reference to marriage and other kindred subjects.” Maybe, great as is the editor’s own knowledge of marriage “and other kindred subjects,” he cannot write equal to the demands of such a topic. Certainly he and his advertisers have the most original ideas of both orthography and syntax. Maybe also, the “address to the public,” which adds to the front-page glories, has been enough for him in the way of hard literary labour. It is certainly very nice, though short; and we regret that no such cunning hand could be obtained to give a few opening lines for the present chapter. But better late than never, and so we will borrow the “address” now. “Marriage,” says the editor, “is such an ancient institution, and has in all ages excited such universal interest among the human family, that in offering to the public a journal specially devoted to the promotion of marital felicity, we feel sure we are only supplying a national want. Civilisation, combined with the cold formalities of society and the rules of etiquette, imposes such restrictions on the sexes, that there are thousands of marriageable men and women, of all ages, capable of making each other happy, who never have a chance of meeting, either in town or country; therefore, the desirability of having some organ through which ladies and gentlemen aspiring to marriage can be honourably brought into communication, is too obvious to need demonstration; and as we are resolved to devote our best energies to advance the interests and happiness of our readers and correspondents, we feel sure the _Matrimonial News_ will meet with a generous support.” This appeal seems to have met with a good response, as there are no less than 331 advertisements of various lengths, all relating to marriage, in the number before us. It is noticeable, however, that many of them have a striking family likeness, and a peculiarity of constructive style is evidenced by a great number in each column. It is hardly fair to suppose that half-a-dozen ladies of forty anxious for husbands would describe themselves as orphans, yet we find no less than eight ladies in one page, all content with that classification, whose united ages amount to 313 years, one being thirty-five, another thirty-eight, and six admitting to be forty each; but these are insignificant compared with a poor young thing who appears close by, and whose application runs thus:-- 227 AN orphan LADY, aged 52, of good connexions, and an income of £160 a year, wishes to hear from a gentleman not under 60. Address with Editor. This orphan business may be partly an intimation that there are no mothers-in-law to fear, besides being an appeal to the charitable to prevent giddy young creatures straying into harm’s way. The columns of this unique journal are also strong in the military, several colonels and some other officers being anxious to commit matrimony. From 331 advertisements, all peculiar, it is hard to make anything like a judicial selection; but there are a few specimens we have determined on giving, even though others must suffer and be left in the cold shade of neglect. We will commence with 245 A WIDOWER, aged 60, healthy and active, with a business of about £150 a year, wishes to correspond with a well educated lady, from 40 to 50 with a view to early marriage. Address with Editor. This will doubtless throw a new light on the question of early marriages, which seems to have been hitherto handled in a selfish and one-sided manner. Sixty and fifty can hardly ever be “too early wed.” Next we come upon 124 CATHLEEN, aged 30, a Widow LADY, without children, income £7,000, residing in a handsome house, surrounded by a park of 200 acres, within 50 miles of London, would correspond with a Nobleman or Gentleman of position, with a view to marriage. Address with Editor. Probably there are many noblemen and gentlemen with whom Cathleen mixes in daily intercourse who do not dream that she wishes to be married again, and she is of course too much a lady to let them know the state of her feelings. Which accounts for her confiding in the editor, who must be a perfect Pantechnicon of secrets. The intelligent foreigner is not blind to the advantages of advertising for what he requires, as witness 9982 A Spanish GENTLEMAN, aged 30 years, residing at Seville (Andalusia), tall, good looking, very swell, rather a meriodinal type, an income of £1,000. He knows English thoroughly, and would like to correspond with the following ladies: Nos. 9442, 9697, 9646, and 9710. Address with Editor. He knows English better than we do in England, if he understands what a “meriodinal type” is; and the editor doesn’t offer to explain. But the latter is evidently too interested in the following to trouble himself with small and foreign fry:-- 195 A BACHELOR, 32, height 6 feet, strong, fair and considered good looking, closely connected with nobility, and moving in the best county society, one brother inherits entailed estates and two in the army, a member of one of the most particular west-end clubs, residence family mansion beautifully situated on the bank of a large river, disposition amiable and energetic, would not mind getting married, if I could meet a suitable wife. She must be of a loveable disposition, good figure and pleasing face, and have a fortune of not less than £10,000 to enable me to buy out the other partner in a large manufactory which cost £23,000, and yealds over £3,000 per annum, without which I will not become a benedict for years. Would like communicate with 9920, 9852, or 9803. Address L. M. A., Editor M. N., 282, Strand. These figures refer, of course, to young ladies who have advertised for the connections of the nobility in previous numbers. When the School Board has done with the children of costermongers and other plebeians, it will have to turn its attention to the members of particular West-End clubs, whose education seems to have been somewhat neglected, so far as grammar is concerned. Should the fair creatures referred to by L. M. A. be already suited, or the inducements held out be insufficient for them, our next may be worthy of his attention:-- 284 A Young LADY, tall, fair, and beautiful, with a great profusion of golden hair, and an income of £800 a year, wishes to correspond with a gentleman of position with a view to marriage. Editor has address. Quite a modern Miss Kilmansegg, with the advantage of having the typical adornment in the shape of golden hair instead of a golden leg. This reference to poetry is of great advantage, as it puts us in a proper frame to consider the following:-- “Oh, woman, in our hours of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please; When pain or sickness rend the brow, A ministering angel thou.” 9828 A Young WIDOW, highly connected, dark hair and eyes, considered pretty, good income, desires to marry, she does not deny that she might at times realize the two first lines of the couplet quoted above, but she can assure any gentleman willing to make the experiment that she is as certain to be true to the conclusion. Address with Editor. Even Scott has to succumb to the grammatical requirements of the marriage advocate and its readers; but the alteration from the original is as nothing compared with the reference to “the two first lines of the couplet.” There is poetry of a different kind in the next specimen, which deserves particular attention:-- 45 I am a BACHELOR, 28, tall and gentlemanly. My income being £150 only (though prospects good), I seek an amiable, educated wife, with private means. Should 10,000, 9920, 9851, 9960, Geraldine, Miss Kate, Miss Maxwell, 9852, 9828, 9878, 9885, or other lady under 28, with at least £2,000 in own control, deem my position compatible with her views, I should much like to correspond. I am well educated, of refined and intellectual tastes, fond of literature and home, of sound moral principles, eschewing smoking, drinking, gambling, and all fast life delusions, of undoubted respectability, unquestionable honour and integrity, of equable temper, and kind, generous heart. Believing a true wife to be man’s greatest blessing, I fully intend being a good husband or none at all, and shall treat my wife not merely with the courtesy due to a lady, but with the respectful consideration to a woman. As this is bona fide, inviolable honour observed and expected. Particulars of age, income, and disposition respectfully solicited. Address with Editor. O true poetic soul longing for a mate! O noble heart of undoubted respectability and unquestionable honour! may you go on and prosper! Even teetotalism can be fervid, and an equable temper may become quickened, when matrimony stirs up the feelings; and so catching is the impulse, that we should like to fold this young man to our breast, and present him with our favourite daughter. But she hasn’t got £2000, and so, regretting the circumstance, we pass on to 8672 A PHYSICIAN of noble lineage (of French and English extraction), of statue about 5ft. 8 inches, aged 36 years, of dark complexion, with black hair and eyes, possessing a strong and healthy constitution, desires to form the acquaintance, with a view to matrimony, of a Lady from 19 to 23 or 24 years, who must be of a noble family or the upper class; brunette preferred, if not of a medium complexion with black or dark hair, and eyes having a fine physique, with some embonpoint, pretty, of an affectione disposition, with a heart true and loving, talented, speaking or understanding French and Italian, or the other foreign languages; in height about 5 feet 6 to 8 inches. Also must possess in her own right considerable fortune, and having no incumbrance preferred. In effect a Girl who can ever love a man with an affectionate disposition. Photograph and address with Editor. This noble physician evidently wishes for a wife whom he may eventually stuff and exhibit, even if he does not take her “round the country” during life. Few people would object to paying sixpence or so to see, among other things, eyes having a fine physique; and so we trust 8672 may get the wife he wishes for. She would, however, if existent, as a matter of natural selection prefer our next friend, and then they could mutually rejoice over each other’s tastes and peculiarities:-- 9971 VEGETARIAN, a young man who does not use flesh as food; a Roman Catholic, humble, well-educated, and connected. A lover of temperance, truth, literature, fruit, flowers, and economy, income about £80 a year, wishes for a wife with similar tastes, principles, and income, or as nearly so as possible.--The address with Editor. The fact of being connected is such an entirely new qualification, that we feel compelled to pause and wonder; and this will be an opportunity for withdrawing from a perusal which is very fascinating, but which threatens to prolong this chapter unduly. There are many more noticeable advertisements, but those we have given will be sufficient to show the character of the newspaper from which we have selected them, as well as the credulity of its public, who are either gulled into paying for matrimonial applications, or deluded into purchasing it in the hope that by its means husbands or wives may be secured. That Oxford “double firsts,” Cambridge wranglers, members of Parliament, military and naval officers of high rank, peers of the realm, and beneficed clergymen, would send twaddling and ungrammatical advertisements to this paper, so as to secure wives, we no more believe than we do that eminent authoresses and ladies of rank and property would avail themselves of its services to secure to themselves husbands. If we are wrong, and these advertisements are all _bonâ fide_, and what they profess to be, then a paternal Government, which legislates against betting and strong drink, which puts a tax on quack medicines, and subscribes to compulsory education, should fulfil its _métier_ by preventing the public exposure of idiotcy we have just been contemplating, more especially as no good can possibly be the outcome of it. [46] This Mrs Cornelys was a notoriety of the period. She lived at Carlisle House, Soho Square, where she, coming from Germany, of which country she was a native, settled in or about 1756. Her business was to entertain “the votaries of fashion of both sexes” with masked and other balls, and suchlike festivities. Mrs Cornelys seems to have thoroughly understood the advantages of judicious puffery, and her advertisements usually appeared as news paragraphs. On February 18, 1763, there appeared a good specimen of the kind of notice she most affected. It says, “On Saturday last Mrs Cornelys gave a ball at Carlisle House, to the upper servants of persons of fashion, as a token of the sense she has of her obligations to the nobility and gentry, for their generous subscription to her assembly. The company consisted of 220 persons, who made up fourscore couple in country dances; and as scarce anybody was idle on this occasion, the rest sat down to cards.” Carlisle House was kept open by means of annual subscriptions, and the fast young men of the period, and not a few older sinners, patronised the establishment. Rules and regulations were published, and from them we learn that members’ tickets were transferable provided the name of the holder was written on the back. There are in the papers between 1757 and 1772 frequent references to the grand doings at this notorious place of assignation; but notwithstanding all her customers and her various ways of making money, Mrs Cornelys’s name appears in a _Gazette_ of November in the latter year among the bankrupts. She is described as “Teresa Cornelys, Carlisle House, St Ann, Soho, dealer.” This, however, says very little as to her success or the want of it, for bankruptcy meant anything but ruin a hundred years ago, if one had only money enough to break properly.