History of Tom Jones, a Foundling by Henry Fielding
Chapter iv.
1138 words | Chapter 251
Containing infallible nostrums for procuring universal disesteem and
hatred.
The lady had no sooner laid herself on her pillow than the
waiting-woman returned to the kitchen to regale with some of those
dainties which her mistress had refused.
The company, at her entrance, shewed her the same respect which they
had before paid to her mistress, by rising; but she forgot to imitate
her, by desiring them to sit down again. Indeed, it was scarce
possible they should have done so, for she placed her chair in such a
posture as to occupy almost the whole fire. She then ordered a chicken
to be broiled that instant, declaring, if it was not ready in a
quarter of an hour, she would not stay for it. Now, though the said
chicken was then at roost in the stable, and required the several
ceremonies of catching, killing, and picking, before it was brought to
the gridiron, my landlady would nevertheless have undertaken to do all
within the time; but the guest, being unfortunately admitted behind
the scenes, must have been witness to the _fourberie_; the poor woman
was therefore obliged to confess that she had none in the house; “but,
madam,” said she, “I can get any kind of mutton in an instant from the
butcher's.”
“Do you think, then,” answered the waiting-gentlewoman, “that I have
the stomach of a horse, to eat mutton at this time of night? Sure you
people that keep inns imagine your betters are like yourselves.
Indeed, I expected to get nothing at this wretched place. I wonder my
lady would stop at it. I suppose none but tradesmen and grasiers ever
call here.” The landlady fired at this indignity offered to her house;
however, she suppressed her temper, and contented herself with saying,
“Very good quality frequented it, she thanked heaven!” “Don't tell
me,” cries the other, “of quality! I believe I know more of people of
quality than such as you.--But, prithee, without troubling me with any
of your impertinence, do tell me what I can have for supper; for,
though I cannot eat horse-flesh, I am really hungry.” “Why, truly,
madam,” answered the landlady, “you could not take me again at such a
disadvantage; for I must confess I have nothing in the house, unless a
cold piece of beef, which indeed a gentleman's footman and the
post-boy have almost cleared to the bone.” “Woman,” said Mrs Abigail
(so for shortness we will call her), “I entreat you not to make me
sick. If I had fasted a month, I could not eat what had been touched
by the fingers of such fellows. Is there nothing neat or decent to be
had in this horrid place?” “What think you of some eggs and bacon,
madam?” said the landlady. “Are your eggs new laid? are you certain
they were laid to-day? and let me have the bacon cut very nice and
thin; for I can't endure anything that's gross.--Prithee try if you
can do a little tolerably for once, and don't think you have a
farmer's wife, or some of those creatures, in the house.”--The
landlady began then to handle her knife; but the other stopt her,
saying, “Good woman, I must insist upon your first washing your hands;
for I am extremely nice, and have been always used from my cradle to
have everything in the most elegant manner.”
The landlady, who governed herself with much difficulty, began now the
necessary preparations; for as to Susan, she was utterly rejected, and
with such disdain, that the poor wench was as hard put to it to
restrain her hands from violence as her mistress had been to hold her
tongue. This indeed Susan did not entirely; for, though she literally
kept it within her teeth, yet there it muttered many “marry-come-ups,
as good flesh and blood as yourself;” with other such indignant
phrases.
While the supper was preparing, Mrs Abigail began to lament she had
not ordered a fire in the parlour; but, she said, that was now too
late. “However,” said she, “I have novelty to recommend a kitchen; for
I do not believe I ever eat in one before.” Then, turning to the
post-boys, she asked them, “Why they were not in the stable with their
horses? If I must eat my hard fare here, madam,” cries she to the
landlady, “I beg the kitchen may be kept clear, that I may not be
surrounded with all the blackguards in town: as for you, sir,” says
she to Partridge, “you look somewhat like a gentleman, and may sit
still if you please; I don't desire to disturb anybody but mob.”
“Yes, yes, madam,” cries Partridge, “I am a gentleman, I do assure
you, and I am not so easily to be disturbed. _Non semper vox casualis
est verbo nominativus_.” This Latin she took to be some affront, and
answered, “You may be a gentleman, sir; but you don't show yourself as
one to talk Latin to a woman.” Partridge made a gentle reply, and
concluded with more Latin; upon which she tossed up her nose, and
contented herself by abusing him with the name of a great scholar.
The supper being now on the table, Mrs Abigail eat very heartily for
so delicate a person; and, while a second course of the same was by
her order preparing, she said, “And so, madam, you tell me your house
is frequented by people of great quality?”
The landlady answered in the affirmative, saying, “There were a great
many very good quality and gentlefolks in it now. There's young Squire
Allworthy, as that gentleman there knows.”
“And pray who is this young gentleman of quality, this young Squire
Allworthy?” said Abigail.
“Who should he be,” answered Partridge, “but the son and heir of the
great Squire Allworthy, of Somersetshire!”
“Upon my word,” said she, “you tell me strange news; for I know Mr
Allworthy of Somersetshire very well, and I know he hath no son
alive.”
The landlady pricked up her ears at this, and Partridge looked a
little confounded. However, after a short hesitation, he answered,
“Indeed, madam, it is true, everybody doth not know him to be Squire
Allworthy's son; for he was never married to his mother; but his son
he certainly is, and will be his heir too, as certainly as his name is
Jones.” At that word, Abigail let drop the bacon which she was
conveying to her mouth, and cried out, “You surprize me, sir! Is it
possible Mr Jones should be now in the house?” “_Quare non?_” answered
Partridge, “it is possible, and it is certain.”
Abigail now made haste to finish the remainder of her meal, and then
repaired back to her mistress, when the conversation passed which may
be read in the next chapter.
Chapters
1. Chapter 1
2. BOOK I -- CONTAINING AS MUCH OF THE BIRTH OF THE FOUNDLING AS IS
3. Chapter i -- The introduction to the work, or bill of fare to the
4. Chapter ii -- A short description of squire Allworthy, and a fuller
5. Chapter iii -- An odd accident which befel Mr Allworthy at his return
6. Chapter iv -- The reader's neck brought into danger by a description;
7. Chapter v -- Containing a few common matters, with a very uncommon
8. Chapter vi -- Mrs Deborah is introduced into the parish with a
9. Chapter vii -- Containing such grave matter, that the reader cannot
10. Chapter viii -- A dialogue between Mesdames Bridget and Deborah;
11. Chapter x -- The hospitality of Allworthy; with a short sketch of the
12. Chapter xi -- Containing many rules, and some examples, concerning
13. Chapter xii -- Containing what the reader may, perhaps, expect to find
14. Chapter xiii -- Which concludes the first book; with an instance of
15. BOOK II -- CONTAINING SCENES OF MATRIMONIAL FELICITY IN DIFFERENT
16. Chapter i -- Showing what kind of a history this is; what it is like,
17. Chapter ii -- Religious cautions against showing too much favour to
18. Chapter iii -- The description of a domestic government founded upon
19. Chapter iv -- Containing one of the most bloody battles, or rather
20. Chapter v -- Containing much matter to exercise the judgment and
21. Chapter vi -- The trial of Partridge, the schoolmaster, for
22. Chapter vii -- A short sketch of that felicity which prudent couples
23. Chapter viii -- A receipt to regain the lost affections of a wife,
24. Chapter ix -- A proof of the infallibility of the foregoing receipt,
25. BOOK III -- CONTAINING THE MOST MEMORABLE TRANSACTIONS WHICH PASSED IN
26. Chapter ii -- The heroe of this great history appears with very bad
27. Chapter iii -- The character of Mr Square the philosopher, and of Mr
28. Chapter iv.
29. Chapter v. -- The opinions of the divine and the philosopher
30. Chapter vi -- Containing a better reason still for the
31. Chapter vii -- In which the author himself makes his appearance on the
32. Chapter viii -- A childish incident, in which, however, is seen a
33. Chapter ix -- Containing an incident of a more heinous kind, with the
34. Chapter x -- In which Master Blifil and Jones appear in different
35. Chapter ii -- A short hint of what we can do in the sublime, and a
36. Chapter iii -- Wherein the history goes back to commemorate a trifling
37. Chapter iv -- Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some
38. Chapter vi -- An apology for the insensibility of Mr Jones to all the
39. Chapter viii -- A battle sung by the muse in the Homerican style, and
40. Chapter x -- A story told by Mr Supple, the curate. The penetration of
41. Chapter xi -- The narrow escape of Molly Seagrim, with some
42. Chapter xii -- Containing much clearer matters; but which flowed from
43. Chapter xiii -- A dreadful accident which befel Sophia. The gallant
44. Chapter xiv -- The arrival of a surgeon.--His operations, and a long
45. BOOK V -- CONTAINING A PORTION OF TIME SOMEWHAT LONGER THAN HALF A
46. Chapter i -- Of the SERIOUS in writing, and for what purpose it is
47. Chapter ii -- In which Mr Jones receives many friendly visits during
48. Chapter iii -- Which all who have no heart will think to contain much
49. Chapter iv -- A little chapter, in which is contained a little
50. Chapter vi -- By comparing which with the former, the reader may
51. Chapter ix -- Which, among other things, may serve as a comment on
52. Chapter x -- Showing the truth of many observations of Ovid, and of
53. Chapter xi -- In which a simile in Mr Pope's period of a mile
54. Chapter xii -- In which is seen a more moving spectacle than all the
55. Chapter ii -- The character of Mrs Western. Her great learning and
56. Chapter v -- In which is related what passed between Sophia and her
57. Chapter vi -- Containing a dialogue between Sophia and Mrs Honour,
58. Chapter vii -- A picture of formal courtship in miniature, as it
59. Chapter xi -- A short chapter; but which contains sufficient matter to
60. Chapter xiii -- The behaviour of Sophia on the present occasion; which
61. Chapter xiv -- A short chapter, containing a short dialogue between
62. Chapter ii -- Containing a conversation which Mr Jones had with
63. Chapter vii -- A strange resolution of Sophia, and a more strange
64. Chapter viii -- Containing scenes of altercation, of no very uncommon
65. Chapter ix -- The wise demeanour of Mr Western in the character of a
66. Chapter x -- Containing several matters, natural enough perhaps, but
67. Chapter xiii -- Containing the great address of the landlady, the
68. Chapter xiv -- A most dreadful chapter indeed; and which few readers
69. Chapter i -- A wonderful long chapter concerning the marvellous; being
70. Chapter iv -- In which is introduced one of the pleasantest barbers
71. Chapter vi -- In which more of the talents of Mr Benjamin will appear,
72. Chapter vii -- Containing better reasons than any which have yet
73. Chapter viii -- Jones arrives at Gloucester, and goes to the Bell; the
74. Chapter ix -- Containing several dialogues between Jones and
75. Chapter x -- In which our travellers meet with a very extraordinary
76. Chapter xi -- In which the Man of the Hill begins to relate his
77. Chapter xv -- A brief history of Europe; and a curious discourse
78. Chapter i -- Of those who lawfully may, and of those who may not,
79. Chapter ii -- Containing a very surprizing adventure indeed, which Mr
80. Chapter iii -- The arrival of Mr Jones with his lady at the inn; with
81. Chapter iv -- In which the arrival of a man of war puts a final end to
82. Chapter v -- An apology for all heroes who have good stomachs, with a
83. Chapter vi -- A friendly conversation in the kitchen, which had a very
84. Chapter vii -- Containing a fuller account of Mrs Waters, and by what
85. Chapter i -- Containing instructions very necessary to be perused by
86. Chapter ii -- Containing the arrival of an Irish gentleman, with very
87. Chapter iii -- A dialogue between the landlady and Susan the
88. Chapter iv -- Containing infallible nostrums for procuring universal
89. Chapter v -- Showing who the amiable lady, and her unamiable maid,
90. Chapter vi -- Containing, among other things, the ingenuity of
91. Chapter vii -- In which are concluded the adventures that happened at
92. Chapter ii -- The adventures which Sophia met with after her leaving
93. Chapter iii -- A very short chapter, in which however is a sun, a
94. Chapter vi -- In which the mistake of the landlord throws Sophia into
95. Chapter viii -- A dreadful alarm in the inn, with the arrival of an
96. Chapter ix -- The morning introduced in some pretty writing. A
97. Chapter x -- Containing a hint or two concerning virtue, and a few
98. Chapter i -- Showing what is to be deemed plagiarism in a modern
99. Chapter ii -- In which, though the squire doth not find his daughter,
100. Chapter iii -- The departure of Jones from Upton, with what passed
101. Chapter v -- Containing more adventures which Mr Jones and his
102. Chapter vi -- From which it may be inferred that the best things are
103. Chapter vii -- Containing a remark or two of our own and many more of
104. Chapter viii -- In which fortune seems to have been in a better humour
105. Chapter xi -- The disasters which befel Jones on his departure for
106. Chapter xii -- Relates that Mr Jones continued his journey, contrary
107. Chapter xiv -- What happened to Mr Jones in his journey from St
108. Chapter iii -- A project of Mrs Fitzpatrick, and her visit to Lady
109. Chapter v -- An adventure which happened to Mr Jones at his lodgings,
110. Chapter vi -- What arrived while the company were at breakfast, with
111. Chapter viii -- Containing a scene of distress, which will appear very
112. Chapter ix -- Which treats of matters of a very different kind from
113. Chapter x -- A chapter which, though short, may draw tears from some
114. Chapter i -- An essay to prove that an author will write the better
115. Chapter ii -- Containing letters and other matters which attend
116. Chapter iv -- Which we hope will be very attentively perused by young
117. Chapter vi -- Containing a scene which we doubt not will affect all
118. Chapter viii -- What passed between Jones and old Mr Nightingale; with
119. Chapter iv -- By which it will appear how dangerous an advocate a lady
120. Chapter v -- Containing some matters which may affect, and others
121. Chapter x -- Consisting partly of facts, and partly of observations
122. Chapter ii -- A whimsical adventure which befel the squire, with the
123. Chapter v -- In which Jones receives a letter from Sophia, and goes to
124. Chapter vii -- In which Mr Western pays a visit to his sister, in
125. Chapter iii -- The arrival of Mr Western, with some matters concerning
126. Chapter iii -- Allworthy visits old Nightingale; with a strange
127. Chapter xii -- Approaching still nearer to the end.
128. BOOK I.
129. Chapter i.
130. Chapter ii.
131. Chapter iii.
132. Chapter iv.
133. Chapter v.
134. Chapter vi.
135. Chapter vii.
136. Chapter viii.
137. Chapter ix.
138. Chapter x.
139. Chapter xi.
140. Chapter xii.
141. Chapter xiii.
142. BOOK II.
143. Chapter i.
144. Chapter ii.
145. Chapter iii.
146. Chapter iv.
147. Chapter v.
148. Chapter vi.
149. Chapter vii.
150. Chapter viii.
151. Chapter ix.
152. BOOK III.
153. Chapter i.
154. Chapter ii.
155. Chapter iii.
156. Chapter iv.
157. Chapter v.
158. Chapter vi.
159. Chapter vii.
160. Chapter viii.
161. Chapter ix.
162. Chapter x.
163. BOOK IV.
164. Chapter i.
165. Chapter ii.
166. Chapter iii.
167. Chapter iv.
168. Chapter v.
169. Chapter vi.
170. Chapter vii.
171. Chapter viii.
172. Chapter ix.
173. Chapter x.
174. Chapter xi.
175. Chapter xii.
176. Chapter xiii.
177. Chapter xiv.
178. BOOK V.
179. Chapter i.
180. Chapter ii.
181. Chapter iii.
182. Chapter iv.
183. Chapter v.
184. Chapter vi.
185. Chapter vii.
186. Chapter viii.
187. Chapter ix.
188. Chapter x.
189. Chapter xi.
190. Chapter xii.
191. BOOK VI.
192. Chapter i.
193. Chapter ii.
194. Chapter iii.
195. Chapter iv.
196. Chapter v.
197. Chapter vi.
198. Chapter vii.
199. Chapter viii.
200. Chapter ix.
201. Chapter x.
202. Chapter xi.
203. Chapter xii.
204. Chapter xiii.
205. Chapter xiv.
206. BOOK VII.
207. Chapter i.
208. Chapter ii.
209. Chapter iii.
210. Chapter iv.
211. Chapter v.
212. Chapter vi.
213. Chapter vii.
214. Chapter viii.
215. Chapter ix.
216. Chapter x.
217. Chapter xi.
218. Chapter xii.
219. Chapter xiii.
220. Chapter xiv.
221. Chapter xv.
222. BOOK VIII.
223. Chapter i.
224. Chapter ii.
225. Chapter iii.
226. Chapter iv.
227. Chapter v.
228. Chapter vi.
229. Chapter vii.
230. Chapter viii.
231. Chapter ix.
232. Chapter x.
233. Chapter xi.
234. 1657. My father was one of those whom they call gentlemen farmers. He
235. Chapter xii.
236. Chapter xiii.
237. Chapter xiv.
238. Chapter xv.
239. BOOK IX.
240. Chapter i.
241. Chapter ii.
242. Chapter iii.
243. Chapter iv.
244. Chapter v.
245. Chapter vi.
246. Chapter vii.
247. BOOK X.
248. Chapter i.
249. Chapter ii.
250. Chapter iii.
251. Chapter iv.
252. Chapter v.
253. Chapter vi.
254. Chapter vii.
255. Chapter viii.
256. Chapter ix.
257. BOOK XI.
258. Chapter i.
259. Chapter ii.
260. Chapter iii.
261. Chapter iv.
262. Chapter v.
263. Chapter vi.
264. Chapter vii.
265. Chapter viii.
266. Chapter ix.
267. Chapter x.
268. BOOK XII.
269. Chapter i.
270. Chapter ii.
271. Chapter iii.
272. Chapter iv.
273. Chapter v.
274. Chapter vi.
275. Chapter vii.
276. Chapter viii.
277. Chapter ix.
278. Chapter x.
279. Chapter xi.
280. Chapter xii.
281. Chapter xiii.
282. Chapter xiv.
283. BOOK XIII.
284. Chapter i.
285. Chapter ii.
286. Chapter iii.
287. Chapter iv.
288. Chapter v.
289. Chapter vi.
290. Chapter vii.
291. Chapter viii.
292. Chapter ix.
293. Chapter x.
294. Chapter xi.
295. Chapter xii.
296. BOOK XIV.
297. Chapter i.
298. Chapter ii.
299. Chapter iii.
300. introduction, began the following speech:--“I am very sorry, sir, to
301. Chapter iv.
302. Chapter v.
303. Chapter vi.
304. Chapter vii.
305. Chapter viii.
306. Chapter ix.
307. Chapter x.
308. BOOK XV.
309. Chapter i.
310. Chapter ii.
311. Chapter iii.
312. Chapter iv.
313. Chapter v.
314. Chapter vi.
315. Chapter vii.
316. Chapter viii.
317. Chapter ix.
318. Chapter x.
319. Chapter xi.
320. Chapter xii.
321. BOOK XVI.
322. Chapter i.
323. Chapter ii.
324. Chapter iii.
325. Chapter iv.
326. Chapter v.
327. Chapter vi.
328. Chapter vii.
329. Chapter viii.
330. Chapter ix.
331. Chapter x.
332. BOOK XVII.
333. Chapter i.
334. Chapter ii.
335. Chapter iii.
336. Chapter iv.
337. Chapter v.
338. Chapter vi.
339. Chapter vii.
340. Chapter viii.
341. Chapter ix.
342. BOOK XVIII.
343. Chapter i.
344. Chapter ii.
345. Chapter iii.
346. Chapter iv.
347. Chapter v.
348. Chapter vi.
349. Chapter vii.
350. Chapter viii.
351. Chapter ix.
352. Chapter x.
353. Chapter xi.
354. Chapter xii.
Reading Tips
Use arrow keys to navigate
Press 'N' for next chapter
Press 'P' for previous chapter