Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain

Chapter 99

1556 words  |  Chapter 99

Refreshments and Ethics IN regard to Island 74, which is situated not far from the former Napoleon, a freak of the river here has sorely perplexed the laws of men and made them a vanity and a jest. When the State of Arkansas was chartered, she controlled 'to the center of the river'--a most unstable line. The State of Mississippi claimed 'to the channel'--another shifty and unstable line. No. 74 belonged to Arkansas. By and by a cut-off threw this big island out of Arkansas, and yet not within Mississippi. 'Middle of the river' on one side of it, 'channel' on the other. That is as I understand the problem. Whether I have got the details right or wrong, this _fact _remains: that here is this big and exceedingly valuable island of four thousand acres, thrust out in the cold, and belonging to neither the one State nor the other; paying taxes to neither, owing allegiance to neither. One man owns the whole island, and of right is 'the man without a country.' Island 92 belongs to Arkansas. The river moved it over and joined it to Mississippi. A chap established a whiskey shop there, without a Mississippi license, and enriched himself upon Mississippi custom under Arkansas protection (where no license was in those days required). We glided steadily down the river in the usual privacy--steamboat or other moving thing seldom seen. Scenery as always: stretch upon stretch of almost unbroken forest, on both sides of the river; soundless solitude. Here and there a cabin or two, standing in small openings on the gray and grassless banks--cabins which had formerly stood a quarter or half-mile farther to the front, and gradually been pulled farther and farther back as the shores caved in. As at Pilcher's Point, for instance, where the cabins had been moved back three hundred yards in three months, so we were told; but the caving banks had already caught up with them, and they were being conveyed rearward once more. Napoleon had but small opinion of Greenville, Mississippi, in the old times; but behold, Napoleon is gone to the cat-fishes, and here is Greenville full of life and activity, and making a considerable flourish in the Valley; having three thousand inhabitants, it is said, and doing a gross trade of $2,500,000 annually. A growing town. There was much talk on the boat about the Calhoun Land Company, an enterprise which is expected to work wholesome results. Colonel Calhoun, a grandson of the statesman, went to Boston and formed a syndicate which purchased a large tract of land on the river, in Chicot County, Arkansas--some ten thousand acres--for cotton-growing. The purpose is to work on a cash basis: buy at first hands, and handle their own product; supply their negro laborers with provisions and necessaries at a trifling profit, say 8 or 10 per cent.; furnish them comfortable quarters, etc., and encourage them to save money and remain on the place. If this proves a financial success, as seems quite certain, they propose to establish a banking-house in Greenville, and lend money at an unburdensome rate of interest--6 per cent. is spoken of. The trouble heretofore has been--I am quoting remarks of planters and steamboatmen--that the planters, although owning the land, were without cash capital; had to hypothecate both land and crop to carry on the business. Consequently, the commission dealer who furnishes the money takes some risk and demands big interest--usually 10 per cent., and 2{half} per cent. for negotiating the loan. The planter has also to buy his supplies through the same dealer, paying commissions and profits. Then when he ships his crop, the dealer adds his commissions, insurance, etc. So, taking it by and large, and first and last, the dealer's share of that crop is about 25 per cent.'{footnote ['But what can the State do where the people are under subjection to rates of interest ranging from 18 to 30 per cent., and are also under the necessity of purchasing their crops in advance even of planting, at these rates, for the privilege of purchasing all their supplies at 100 per cent. profit?'--_Edward Atkinson_.]} A cotton-planter's estimate of the average margin of profit on planting, in his section: One man and mule will raise ten acres of cotton, giving ten bales cotton, worth, say, $500; cost of producing, say $350; net profit, $150, or $15 per acre. There is also a profit now from the cotton-seed, which formerly had little value--none where much transportation was necessary. In sixteen hundred pounds crude cotton four hundred are lint, worth, say, ten cents a pound; and twelve hundred pounds of seed, worth $12 or $13 per ton. Maybe in future even the stems will not be thrown away. Mr. Edward Atkinson says that for each bale of cotton there are fifteen hundred pounds of stems, and that these are very rich in phosphate of lime and potash; that when ground and mixed with ensilage or cotton-seed meal (which is too rich for use as fodder in large quantities), the stem mixture makes a superior food, rich in all the elements needed for the production of milk, meat, and bone. Heretofore the stems have been considered a nuisance. Complaint is made that the planter remains grouty toward the former slave, since the war; will have nothing but a chill business relation with him, no sentiment permitted to intrude, will not keep a 'store' himself, and supply the negro's wants and thus protect the negro's pocket and make him able and willing to stay on the place and an advantage to him to do it, but lets that privilege to some thrifty Israelite, who encourages the thoughtless negro and wife to buy all sorts of things which they could do without--buy on credit, at big prices, month after month, credit based on the negro's share of the growing crop; and at the end of the season, the negro's share belongs to the Israelite,' the negro is in debt besides, is discouraged, dissatisfied, restless, and both he and the planter are injured; for he will take steamboat and migrate, and the planter must get a stranger in his place who does not know him, does not care for him, will fatten the Israelite a season, and follow his predecessor per steamboat. It is hoped that the Calhoun Company will show, by its humane and protective treatment of its laborers, that its method is the most profitable for both planter and negro; and it is believed that a general adoption of that method will then follow. And where so many are saying their say, shall not the barkeeper testify? He is thoughtful, observant, never drinks; endeavors to earn his salary, and _would _earn it if there were custom enough. He says the people along here in Mississippi and Louisiana will send up the river to buy vegetables rather than raise them, and they will come aboard at the landings and buy fruits of the barkeeper. Thinks they 'don't know anything but cotton;' believes they don't know how to raise vegetables and fruit--'at least the most of them.' Says 'a nigger will go to H for a watermelon' ['H' is all I find in the stenographer's report--means Halifax probably, though that seems a good way to go for a watermelon). Barkeeper buys watermelons for five cents up the river, brings them down and sells them for fifty. 'Why does he mix such elaborate and picturesque drinks for the nigger hands on the boat?' Because they won't have any other. 'They want a big drink; don't make any difference what you make it of, they want the worth of their money. You give a nigger a plain gill of half-a-dollar brandy for five cents--will he touch it? No. Ain't size enough to it. But you put up a pint of all kinds of worthless rubbish, and heave in some red stuff to make it beautiful--red's the main thing--and he wouldn't put down that glass to go to a circus.' All the bars on this Anchor Line are rented and owned by one firm. They furnish the liquors from their own establishment, and hire the barkeepers 'on salary.' Good liquors? Yes, on some of the boats, where there are the kind of passengers that want it and can pay for it. On the other boats? No. Nobody but the deck hands and firemen to drink it. 'Brandy? Yes, I've got brandy, plenty of it; but you don't want any of it unless you've made your will.' It isn't as it used to be in the old times. Then everybody traveled by steamboat, everybody drank, and everybody treated everybody else. 'Now most everybody goes by railroad, and the rest don't drink.' In the old times the barkeeper owned the bar himself, 'and was gay and smarty and talky and all jeweled up, and was the toniest aristocrat on the boat; used to make $2,000 on a trip. A father who left his son a steamboat bar, left him a fortune. Now he leaves him board and lodging; yes, and washing, if a shirt a trip will do. Yes, indeedy, times are changed. Why, do you know, on the principal line of boats on the Upper Mississippi, they don't have any bar at all! Sounds like poetry, but it's the petrified truth.'

Chapters

1. Chapter 1 2. CHAPTER I. The Mississippi is Well worth Reading about.--It is 3. CHAPTER II. La Salle again Appears, and so does a Cat-fish.--Buffaloes 4. CHAPTER III. A little History.--Early Commerce.--Coal Fleets and Timber 5. CHAPTER IV. The Boys' Ambition.--Village Scenes.--Steamboat Pictures. 6. CHAPTER VI. Besieging the Pilot.--Taken along.--Spoiling a Nap.--Fishing 7. CHAPTER VII. River Inspectors.--Cottonwoods and Plum Point.--Hat-Island 8. CHAPTER VIII. A Heavy-loaded Big Gun.--Sharp Sights in 9. CHAPTER IX. Shake the Reef.--Reason Dethroned.--The Face of the Water. 10. CHAPTER X. Putting on Airs.--Taken down a bit.--Learn it as it is.--The 11. CHAPTER XI. In thg Tract Business.--Effects of the Rise.--Plantations 12. CHAPTER XII. Low Water.--Yawl sounding.--Buoys and Lanterns.--Cubs and 13. CHAPTER XIII. A Pilot's Memory.--Wages soaring.--A Universal 14. CHAPTER XIV. Pilots and Captains.--High-priced Pilots.--Pilots in 15. CHAPTER XV. New Pilots undermining the Pilots' Association.--Crutches 16. CHAPTER XVI. All Aboard.--A Glorious Start.--Loaded to Win.--Bands and 17. CHAPTER XVII. Cut-offs.--Ditching and Shooting.--Mississippi Changes.--A 18. CHAPTER XVIII. Sharp Schooling.--Shadows.--I am Inspected.--Where did 19. CHAPTER XIX. A Question of Veracity.--A Little Unpleasantness.--I have 20. CHAPTER XX. I become a Passenger.--We hear the News.--A Thunderous 21. CHAPTER XXI. I get my License.--The War Begins.--I become a 22. CHAPTER XXII. I try the Alias Business.--Region of Goatees--Boots begin 23. CHAPTER XXIII. Old French Settlements.--We start for Memphis.--Young 24. CHAPTER XXIV. I receive some Information.--Alligator Boats.--Alligator 25. CHAPTER XXV. The Devil's Oven and Table.--A Bombshell falls.--No 26. CHAPTER XXVI. War Talk.--I Tilt over Backwards.--Fifteen Shot-holes.--A 27. CHAPTER XXVII. Tourists and their Note-books.--Captain Hall.--Mrs. 28. CHAPTER XXVIII. Swinging down the River.--Named for Me.--Plum Point 29. CHAPTER XXIX. Murel's Gang.--A Consummate Villain.--Getting Rid of 30. CHAPTER XXX. A Melancholy Picture.--On the Move.--River Gossip.--She 31. CHAPTER XXXI. Mutinous Language.--The Dead-house.--Cast-iron German and 32. CHAPTER XXXII. Ritter's Narrative.--A Question of 33. CHAPTER XXXIII. A Question of Division.--A Place where there was 34. CHAPTER XXXIV. An Austere Man.--A Mosquito Policy.--Facts dressed in 35. CHAPTER XXXV. Signs and Scars.--Cannon-thunder Rages.--Cave-dwellers. 36. CHAPTER XXXVI. The Professor Spins a Yarn.--An Enthusiast in Cattle.--He 37. CHAPTER XXXVII. A Terrible Disaster.--The “Gold Dust” explodes her 38. CHAPTER XXXVIII. Mr. Dickens has a Word.--Best Dwellings and 39. CHAPTER XXXIX. Rowdies and Beauty.--Ice as Jewelry.--Ice 40. CHAPTER XL. In Flowers, like a Bride.--A White-washed Castle.--A 41. CHAPTER XLI. The Approaches to New Orleans.--A Stirring 42. CHAPTER XLII. Beautiful Grave-yards.--Chameleons and 43. CHAPTER XLIII. I meet an Acquaintance.--Coffins and Swell Houses.--Mrs. 44. CHAPTER XLIV. French and Spanish Parts of the City.--Mr. Cable and the 45. CHAPTER XLV. “Waw” Talk.--Cock-Fighting.--Too Much to Bear.--Fine 46. CHAPTER XLVI. Mardi-Gras.--The Mystic Crewe.--Rex and Relics.--Sir 47. CHAPTER XLVII. Uncle Remus.--The Children Disappointed.--We Read Aloud. 48. CHAPTER XLVIII. Tight Curls and Springy Steps.--Steam-plows.--“No. I.” 49. CHAPTER XLIX. Pilot-Farmers.--Working on Shares.--Consequences.--Men who 50. CHAPTER L. A Patriarch.--Leaves from a Diary.--A Tongue-stopper.--The 51. CHAPTER LI. A Fresh “Cub” at the Wheel.--A Valley Storm.--Some Remarks 52. CHAPTER LII. I Collar an Idea.--A Graduate of Harvard.--A Penitent 53. CHAPTER LIII. A Masterly Retreat.--A Town at Rest.--Boyhood's 54. CHAPTER LIV. A Special Judgment.--Celestial Interest.--A Night of 55. CHAPTER LV. A second Generation.--A hundred thousand Tons of Saddles.--A 56. CHAPTER LVI. Perverted History--A Guilty Conscience.--A Supposititious 57. CHAPTER LVII. A Model Town.--A Town that Comes up to Blow in the Summer. 58. CHAPTER LVIII. An Independent Race.--Twenty-four-hour Towns.--Enchanting 59. CHAPTER LIX. Indian Traditions and Rattlesnakes.--A Three-ton 60. CHAPTER LX. The Head of Navigation.--From Roses to Snow.--Climatic 61. Chapter 61 62. Chapter 62 63. Chapter 63 64. Chapter 64 65. Chapter 65 66. Chapter 66 67. Chapter 67 68. Chapter 68 69. Chapter 69 70. Chapter 70 71. Chapter 71 72. Chapter 72 73. Chapter 73 74. Chapter 74 75. Chapter 75 76. Chapter 76 77. Chapter 77 78. Chapter 78 79. Chapter 79 80. Chapter 80 81. Chapter 81 82. Chapter 82 83. Chapter 83 84. Chapter 84 85. Chapter 85 86. Chapter 86 87. Chapter 87 88. Chapter 88 89. 1. Some believed in the Commission's scheme to arbitrarily and 90. 2. Some believed that the Commission's money ought to be spent only on 91. 3. Some believed that the higher you build your levee, the higher the 92. 4. Some believed in the scheme to relieve the river, in flood-time, by 93. 5. Some believed in the scheme of northern lake-reservoirs to replenish 94. Chapter 94 95. Chapter 95 96. Chapter 96 97. introduction of me. The man's eyes opened slowly, and glittered wickedly 98. Chapter 98 99. Chapter 99 100. Chapter 100 101. Chapter 101 102. Chapter 102 103. Chapter 103 104. Chapter 104 105. Chapter 105 106. Chapter 106 107. Chapter 107 108. Chapter 108 109. Chapter 109 110. Chapter 110 111. Chapter 111 112. Chapter 112 113. Chapter 113 114. Chapter 114 115. Chapter 115 116. Chapter 116 117. Chapter 117 118. Chapter 118 119. Chapter 119 120. Chapter 120 121. Chapter 121 122. Chapter 122 123. Chapter 123 124. Chapter 124 125. Chapter 125 126. Chapter 126

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