A Doll's House : a play by Henrik Ibsen
Part 12
2199 words | Chapter 12
to
act on your own responsibility? No, no; only lean on me; I will advise
you and direct you. I should not be a man if this womanly helplessness
did not just give you a double attractiveness in my eyes. You must not
think anymore about the hard things I said in my first moment of
consternation, when I thought everything was going to overwhelm me. I
have forgiven you, Nora; I swear to you I have forgiven you.
NORA.
Thank you for your forgiveness. _[She goes out through the door to the
right.]_
HELMER.
No, don’t go—. _[Looks in.]_ What are you doing in there?
NORA.
_[from within]_. Taking off my fancy dress.
HELMER.
_[standing at the open door]_. Yes, do. Try and calm yourself, and make
your mind easy again, my frightened little singing-bird. Be at rest,
and feel secure; I have broad wings to shelter you under. _[Walks up
and down by the door.]_ How warm and cosy our home is, Nora. Here is
shelter for you; here I will protect you like a hunted dove that I have
saved from a hawk’s claws; I will bring peace to your poor beating
heart. It will come, little by little, Nora, believe me. Tomorrow
morning you will look upon it all quite differently; soon everything
will be just as it was before. Very soon you won’t need me to assure
you that I have forgiven you; you will yourself feel the certainty that
I have done so. Can you suppose I should ever think of such a thing as
repudiating you, or even reproaching you? You have no idea what a true
man’s heart is like, Nora. There is something so indescribably sweet
and satisfying, to a man, in the knowledge that he has forgiven his
wife—forgiven her freely, and with all his heart. It seems as if that
had made her, as it were, doubly his own; he has given her a new life,
so to speak; and she has in a way become both wife and child to him. So
you shall be for me after this, my little scared, helpless darling.
Have no anxiety about anything, Nora; only be frank and open with me,
and I will serve as will and conscience both to you—. What is this? Not
gone to bed? Have you changed your things?
NORA.
_[in everyday dress]_. Yes, Torvald, I have changed my things now.
HELMER.
But what for?—so late as this.
NORA.
I shall not sleep tonight.
HELMER.
But, my dear Nora—
NORA.
_[looking at her watch]_. It is not so very late. Sit down here,
Torvald. You and I have much to say to one another. _[She sits down at
one side of the table.]_
HELMER.
Nora—what is this?—this cold, set face?
NORA.
Sit down. It will take some time; I have a lot to talk over with you.
HELMER.
_[sits down at the opposite side of the table]_. You alarm me,
Nora!—and I don’t understand you.
NORA.
No, that is just it. You don’t understand me, and I have never
understood you either—before tonight. No, you mustn’t interrupt me. You
must simply listen to what I say. Torvald, this is a settling of
accounts.
HELMER.
What do you mean by that?
NORA.
_[after a short silence]_. Isn’t there one thing that strikes you as
strange in our sitting here like this?
HELMER.
What is that?
NORA.
We have been married now eight years. Does it not occur to you that
this is the first time we two, you and I, husband and wife, have had a
serious conversation?
HELMER.
What do you mean by serious?
NORA.
In all these eight years—longer than that—from the very beginning of
our acquaintance, we have never exchanged a word on any serious
subject.
HELMER.
Was it likely that I would be continually and forever telling you about
worries that you could not help me to bear?
NORA.
I am not speaking about business matters. I say that we have never sat
down in earnest together to try and get at the bottom of anything.
HELMER.
But, dearest Nora, would it have been any good to you?
NORA.
That is just it; you have never understood me. I have been greatly
wronged, Torvald—first by papa and then by you.
HELMER.
What! By us two—by us two, who have loved you better than anyone else
in the world?
NORA.
_[shaking her head]_. You have never loved me. You have only thought it
pleasant to be in love with me.
HELMER.
Nora, what do I hear you saying?
NORA.
It is perfectly true, Torvald. When I was at home with papa, he told me
his opinion about everything, and so I had the same opinions; and if I
differed from him I concealed the fact, because he would not have liked
it. He called me his doll-child, and he played with me just as I used
to play with my dolls. And when I came to live with you—
HELMER.
What sort of an expression is that to use about our marriage?
NORA.
_[undisturbed]_. I mean that I was simply transferred from papa’s hands
into yours. You arranged everything according to your own taste, and so
I got the same tastes as you—or else I pretended to, I am really not
quite sure which—I think sometimes the one and sometimes the other.
When I look back on it, it seems to me as if I had been living here
like a poor woman—just from hand to mouth. I have existed merely to
perform tricks for you, Torvald. But you would have it so. You and papa
have committed a great sin against me. It is your fault that I have
made nothing of my life.
HELMER.
How unreasonable and how ungrateful you are, Nora! Have you not been
happy here?
NORA.
No, I have never been happy. I thought I was, but it has never really
been so.
HELMER.
Not—not happy!
NORA.
No, only merry. And you have always been so kind to me. But our home
has been nothing but a playroom. I have been your doll-wife, just as at
home I was papa’s doll-child; and here the children have been my dolls.
I thought it great fun when you played with me, just as they thought it
great fun when I played with them. That is what our marriage has been,
Torvald.
HELMER.
There is some truth in what you say—exaggerated and strained as your
view of it is. But for the future it shall be different. Playtime shall
be over, and lesson-time shall begin.
NORA.
Whose lessons? Mine, or the children’s?
HELMER.
Both yours and the children’s, my darling Nora.
NORA.
Alas, Torvald, you are not the man to educate me into being a proper
wife for you.
HELMER.
And you can say that!
NORA.
And I—how am I fitted to bring up the children?
HELMER.
Nora!
NORA.
Didn’t you say so yourself a little while ago—that you dare not trust
me to bring them up?
HELMER.
In a moment of anger! Why do you pay any heed to that?
NORA.
Indeed, you were perfectly right. I am not fit for the task. There is
another task I must undertake first. I must try and educate myself—you
are not the man to help me in that. I must do that for myself. And that
is why I am going to leave you now.
HELMER.
_[springing up]_. What do you say?
NORA.
I must stand quite alone, if I am to understand myself and everything
about me. It is for that reason that I cannot remain with you any
longer.
HELMER.
Nora, Nora!
NORA.
I am going away from here now, at once. I am sure Christine will take
me in for the night—
HELMER.
You are out of your mind! I won’t allow it! I forbid you!
NORA.
It is no use forbidding me anything any longer. I will take with me
what belongs to myself. I will take nothing from you, either now or
later.
HELMER.
What sort of madness is this!
NORA.
Tomorrow I shall go home—I mean, to my old home. It will be easiest for
me to find something to do there.
HELMER.
You blind, foolish woman!
NORA.
I must try and get some sense, Torvald.
HELMER.
To desert your home, your husband and your children! And you don’t
consider what people will say!
NORA.
I cannot consider that at all. I only know that it is necessary for me.
HELMER.
It’s shocking. This is how you would neglect your most sacred duties.
NORA.
What do you consider my most sacred duties?
HELMER.
Do I need to tell you that? Are they not your duties to your husband
and your children?
NORA.
I have other duties just as sacred.
HELMER.
That you have not. What duties could those be?
NORA.
Duties to myself.
HELMER.
Before all else, you are a wife and a mother.
NORA.
I don’t believe that any longer. I believe that before all else I am a
reasonable human being, just as you are—or, at all events, that I must
try and become one. I know quite well, Torvald, that most people would
think you right, and that views of that kind are to be found in books;
but I can no longer content myself with what most people say, or with
what is found in books. I must think over things for myself and get to
understand them.
HELMER.
Can you not understand your place in your own home? Have you not a
reliable guide in such matters as that?—have you no religion?
NORA.
I am afraid, Torvald, I do not exactly know what religion is.
HELMER.
What are you saying?
NORA.
I know nothing but what the clergyman said, when I went to be
confirmed. He told us that religion was this, and that, and the other.
When I am away from all this, and am alone, I will look into that
matter too. I will see if what the clergyman said is true, or at all
events if it is true for me.
HELMER.
This is unheard of in a girl of your age! But if religion cannot lead
you aright, let me try and awaken your conscience. I suppose you have
some moral sense? Or—answer me—am I to think you have none?
NORA.
I assure you, Torvald, that is not an easy question to answer. I really
don’t know. The thing perplexes me altogether. I only know that you and
I look at it in quite a different light. I am learning, too, that the
law is quite another thing from what I supposed; but I find it
impossible to convince myself that the law is right. According to it a
woman has no right to spare her old dying father, or to save her
husband’s life. I can’t believe that.
HELMER.
You talk like a child. You don’t understand the conditions of the world
in which you live.
NORA.
No, I don’t. But now I am going to try. I am going to see if I can make
out who is right, the world or I.
HELMER.
You are ill, Nora; you are delirious; I almost think you are out of
your mind.
NORA.
I have never felt my mind so clear and certain as tonight.
HELMER.
And is it with a clear and certain mind that you forsake your husband
and your children?
NORA.
Yes, it is.
HELMER.
Then there is only one possible explanation.
NORA.
What is that?
HELMER.
You do not love me anymore.
NORA.
No, that is just it.
HELMER.
Nora!—and you can say that?
NORA.
It gives me great pain, Torvald, for you have always been so kind to
me, but I cannot help it. I do not love you any more.
HELMER.
_[regaining his composure]_. Is that a clear and certain conviction
too?
NORA.
Yes, absolutely clear and certain. That is the reason why I will not
stay here any longer.
HELMER.
And can you tell me what I have done to forfeit your love?
NORA.
Yes, indeed I can. It was tonight, when the wonderful thing did not
happen; then I saw you were not the man I had thought you were.
HELMER.
Explain yourself better. I don’t understand you.
NORA.
I have waited so patiently for eight years; for, goodness knows, I knew
very well that wonderful things don’t happen every day. Then this
horrible misfortune came upon me; and then I felt quite certain that
the wonderful thing was going to happen at last. When Krogstad’s letter
was lying out there, never for a moment did I imagine that you would
consent to accept this man’s conditions. I was so absolutely certain
that you would say to him: Publish the thing to the whole world. And
when that was done—
HELMER.
Yes, what then?—when I had exposed my wife to shame and disgrace?
NORA.
When that was done, I was so absolutely certain, you would come forward
and take everything upon yourself, and say: I am the guilty one.
HELMER.
Nora—!
NORA.
You mean that I would never have accepte
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