The sexual question : A scientific, psychological, hygienic and sociological…
CHAPTER XV
5907 words | Chapter 59
SEXUAL MORALITY
=Law and Morality.=--The limits of morality and law are difficult to
fix. With the old conception of law and the expiation of crime it was
otherwise. Yet it is precisely the old law, based on dogma and
religious metaphysics, which has most usurped the domain of morality,
by considering as crimes all kinds of acts which, without hurting men
in the least degree, were opposed to the ruling ideas and prejudices
concerning religion and morality.
=Human and Religious Morality.=--What then constitutes ethics or true
human morality? A dogmatic system, of ethics has been built on a
collection of commandments supposed to be inspired by God. Religions
have established different duties toward God, and these duties or
commandments are in part very inhuman. This has often resulted in
direct contradictions between ethics attributed to divine revelation,
and pure human ethics. Moreover, the divine commandments vary in
different religions.
The god of certain Malays commands them to eat the heart of their
enemies; Jehovah was vindictive and jealous, ordering Abraham to
sacrifice his own son to prove his faith, causing whole tribes to be
annihilated, even drowning the whole of humanity by the flood, while
the God of the Christians is milder and more conciliating; Allah rules
as a fatalist and orders the massacre of the Christians and abstinence
from alcohol, while Jesus Christ tells men to love their enemies and
allows wine; the god of the Hindus orders the widow to follow her
husband to the grave; a number of other gods exact human sacrifice;
Buddha taught oblivion in the future, others a more or less eternal
paradise, hell and purgatory, according to the conduct of men.
It will be agreed that it is difficult to obtain anything logical or
coherent from the total of different religious moralities. As regards
the sexual question, so-called divine commandments, such as those of
monogamy and polygamy, directly contradict each other.
For this reason, we will leave the so-called revealed morality to the
priests of diverse religions who pretend to have received them
directly from God, and will confine ourselves to the study of purely
human morality. This should never be based on any dogmatic formula,
like the above on their religious dogmas; it must be evolved from the
natural conditions of human life.
=Morality and Hygiene.=--Morality is intimately connected with
hygiene, and wherever there appears to be a contradiction between
hygiene and ethics this is due to the fact that individual hygiene has
only been considered, and not public or social hygiene--that is the
hygiene of the race. It is the duty of the medical profession to place
social above individual hygiene, to subordinate the hygienic welfare
of the individual to that of society. A contradiction may exist
between individual morality and hygiene, never between social morality
and hygiene.
=Definition of Morality.=--How can we define morality or ethics?
Liberated as far as possible from all hypothesis, ethics is
theoretically the study of what is good or bad in human actions, and
practically, as regards morality, the duty of doing good and avoiding
evil. But this is hardly explicit, for what do we understand by good
and evil? Not only do some consider good what others consider evil,
but the words which Goethe puts into the mouth of the devil (in
"_Faust_")--that while wishing evil he often did good--will always be
true. This gives a faithful representation of the deplorable want of
adaptation which exists between the good and evil effects of our
actions on the one hand, and the goodness or wickedness of our motives
on the other hand. The inverse is also true, for good intentions often
have evil results. We must, therefore, carefully distinguish between
the ethical motives of the good and bad effects of an action.
If we continue our analysis we shall discover that the same action may
be good for one and bad for another. When a wolf devours a lamb, it is
good for the wolf but bad for the lamb. We cannot live without
destroying other lives, animal or vegetable. The money we earn comes
out of the pockets of others without their always obtaining a
corresponding profit, and so on. Morality is thus _relative_, and we
have not the faculty of discovering anything which is absolutely good
or absolutely bad in itself.
All that men can expect by mutual exchange of their wisdom and good
will is to do as little evil and as much good as possible, that is to
say, to diminish the amount of their physical and psychic ills by
improving their mutual conditions of existence, and thus increasing
the amount of good. Even this is only possible by limiting the ideas
of good and evil almost exclusively to humanity, trampling on the
conditions of existence and the development of other beings, or at
least concerning ourselves with them only as far as they are useful to
us.
Further, we have seen that it is very difficult to extend the
conception of social welfare to all the living races of humanity, for
some of them are at the same time so fecund and so inferior in
quality, that if they were allowed to multiply around us without any
precaution they would soon starve and supplant us. Then the barbarity
of their lower instincts (vide weight of brain in different races at
end of Chapter VI) would soon take the upper hand and become general,
as the negroes of Hayti have shown us by a lesson which is worthy of
our attention.
Therefore, an exaggeration of moral sentiments, resting on a false
basis, would have the positive result of striking a fatal blow at our
social morality, slowly built up during hundreds or thousands of
years.
Lastly, the same action may first of all do evil and afterwards good,
for example, a painful lesson; or _vice versa_, as in the satisfaction
of a gluttonous appetite.
=Morality can only be Relative.=--It follows from these considerations
that our moral duties can only be relative, and cannot bind us in the
same way nor in the same degree to all living beings, not even to all
men, if we would avoid sacrificing what is lofty to what is vile. In
theory, the definition of human morality will consist in a just and
scientific definition of social welfare and the exigencies which it
imposes on individuals, in order that the latter do not do evil in
attempting to do good. In practice, it will be the general effort made
to develop successfully this social welfare by the aid of individual
will. This presupposes in the first place education of the will, the
dispositions to useful work, and the altruistic sentiments of each
individual. It is neither theoretical dogma nor preaching, but action
and example which make for the education of man.
The noblest task of moral action is to strive for the welfare of
future generations.
=Altruism and Egoism.=--Properly understood, altruism and egoism do
not form an antinomy, or only quite a relative antinomy. It is
absolutely wrong to found social order by letting loose all our
egoistic appetites without restriction. But it is quite as wrong to
oppose them with an exaggerated and unnatural asceticism, which
reflects in our eyes an erroneous ideal of altruism.
When a bee or an ant disgorges the honey from its stomach for the
benefit of its companions, it enjoys it. By sacrificing its life for
the hive or the nest, it satisfies an altruistic or social instinct.
Cannot man also be more happy in giving than receiving? How can we
explain the great sacrifices, the martyrs who suffer and die for their
country, for their family, for science, for an idea, if enthusiasm--an
expanded sentiment of pleasure--did not lead man to disinterested
sacrifice, or if an inner obsession did not find its satisfaction in
the welfare of humanity?
Let us seek all measures which by social adaptation can ennoble our
human egoism, reduce it to its indispensable and just measure, and
maintain it in proper equilibrium, by the aid of an active altruism;
that is to say, by social habits of self-sacrifice for the benefit of
the community. We shall then obtain a paradise on earth, no doubt very
relative, but far preferable to our present anarchy based on the
strife of personal interests.
The chief thing wanting is a good hereditary quality among human
individuals, a quality which is still entirely left to chance, by the
most deplorable selection; the second requisite is the education of
character and will in our children. Our religion and our schools have
shown themselves incapable of raising the bulk of the people above
barbarism, that is to say from apathy, vulgarity of sentiment,
routine, ignorance and prejudice. No doubt intellectual culture and
religious ethics have accomplished a certain amount of moral progress,
but the methods employed in our churches and schools have not advanced
with science. They are in no sense adapted to our present moral wants
and still less to the exigencies of the future.
It is on the basis of a natural human morality, such as we have just
described, that we must found sexual morality or ethics, and it is not
difficult to form clear ideas on this subject, if we take the trouble
to examine the facts explained in the first fourteen chapters of this
book.
From the social and moral point of view we may consider an action as
_positive_ or useful, _neutral_ or indifferent, and _negative_ or
harmful. But the same action may be at the same time positive,
negative or indifferent, relatively to one or more groups of
individuals. But in ethics it is not only a question of the action in
itself, but especially the inner motives which lead to it; for, to
leave the good and ill of society to chance and ignorance, is to deny
the possibility of progress. It is difficult for a man to accomplish
positive social actions, when the moral sentiments of conscience and
duty are wanting. On the other hand, a narrow-minded individual, with
false judgment, will accomplish negative social actions through moral
motives, while in certain cases an individual may accomplish positive
social acts fortuitously through perverse motives. Through vengeance,
a generous legacy may be left which injures an individual, while
profiting the public. Without being perverse, motives may be simply
egoistic and lead to good by calculated egoism.
By altruist, we understand a man animated by powerful moral sentiments
which preside over social humanitarian volitions. By the term pure
egoist, we designate one in whom self forms the exclusive object of
sentiments of sympathy. In himself, the egoist is indifferent from the
moral point of view, so long as he injures no one, and the altruist
himself cannot live without a certain amount of egoism. The ideal of
social sentiment therefore consists in the combined action of
egoistic and altruistic sentiments, adapted to the wants of society
and its members. As among certain ants, there should exist a complete
compensatory regulation between the egoistic sentiments and appetites
on the other hand. The antagonist of altruism is not the egoist, but
the perverse individual whose acts are by instinct almost constantly
negative from the moral point of view. Egoism urges a man in such an
irresistible way to abuse and harm others in order to satisfy himself,
that a pure egoist can rarely remain indifferent from the moral point
of view. These considerations suffice to show the impossibility of
basing social order on pure egoism, as so many people desire.
=Sexual Morality.=--Sexual morality depends upon what we have just
said. By itself, the sexual appetite is indifferent from the moral
point of view. A great confusion of ideas, based on religious
misunderstanding, has led to the term morality being more and more
identified with that of moral conduct in the sexual domain. In short,
ethics has been more or less confounded with sexuality. From this
point of view, a sexually anæsthetic individual is regarded as
extremely "moral," while he is perhaps in other respects a knave. In
reality his sexual indifference has not the least moral value. For the
same reason an invert is not virtuous because he does not seduce
girls.
From the Protestant point of view it is immoral to burden one's wife
with continual pregnancies, while from the Catholic point of view it
is immoral to interfere with these pregnancies by preventive measures.
Nevertheless, the sexual appetite gives rise to much conflict with
human morality, for the simple reason that it looks upon human beings
as objects of pleasure. Fetichism, in which the sexual appetite is
directed toward inanimate objects, and sodomy, directed to animals,
are by themselves almost incapable of entering into conflict with
morality as we understand it.
The opinion of many people who consider the employment of
anticonceptional measures as immoral, while defending prostitution,
shows how much ideas vary on the subject of sexual ethics. Preachers
of morality, and even priests, sometimes blame a young man who wishes
to marry his mistress, and urge him to get rid of her and the child
by paying a sum of money. The inconsistency of men in the way they
introduce their so-called moral ideas into sexual questions is simply
incredible. Their heads are full of a jumble of hypocrisy, mysticism,
prejudice, pecuniary interests, veneration for old traditional customs
called good manners, a jumble which absolutely confuses all ideas of a
healthy sexual morality. Look at the indignation of parents when their
children become betrothed to persons whom they consider to be beneath
them in social position, or who possess too little money! And all
these people are unconscious of their immorality, which sails under
the flag of morality!
What standpoint are we to take in the sexual domain, which is free
from prejudice, with regard to true human morality? This is the
question which an honest and truly moral man has to put to himself.
The first principle is the old medical adage: _Above all things do no
harm_; the second is: _Be as useful as possible, both individually and
socially._
The commandment of sexual morality will thus be: _Thou shalt do no
harm willingly to any person, nor to humanity, by thy sexual appetite
or acts, and thou shalt do thy utmost to promote the happiness of thy
neighbor and the welfare of society._
Endowed with sexual appetite and the faculty of love, the social man
will utilize both for the benefit of the community as well as his own.
If he acts honorably his task will not be easy, but he will experience
all the more satisfaction, for his good deeds will bring their own
reward. He should bear in mind the following examples:
(1). A man of bad disposition, excited by momentary sexual passion,
seduces a girl, makes her pregnant, and then disappears. He injures
his victim and himself without deriving any advantage. His action is
therefore negative, and is to be condemned both from the ethical and
the egoistic point of view.
(2). Through motives of religious morality, a virtuous girl marries a
depraved drunkard in order to save him. This rarely succeeds, and if
it does it is generally incomplete. From the egoistic point of view
this experiment is exclusively negative. From the altruistic point of
view the motives are, it is true, very positive, but the social
effects are still more negative. If all goes well, our virtuous and
exalted girl will succeed in improving the drunkard, but if she
procreates children, she will have unconsciously sinned against them,
and her good action will result in the sins of the father being
visited on the children.
(3). A man with marked hereditary taints, impulsive, psychopathic and
possessed of a strong sexual appetite, marries an honest girl of good
family, and has several children by her. Such an action is positive
from the egoistic point of view, for the individual in question
benefits himself. From the ethical point of view, it is negative, for
it makes an honest woman unhappy, and probably leads to the
procreation of children of bad quality.
(4). A man, healthy in body and mind, capable, hardworking and full of
ideals, finds a suitable companion. Instead of leading an easy life,
they both undertake as much work as possible, especially social
duties, and procreate at sufficient intervals as many children as they
can without injury to the health of the wife. This is an ideal
combination of positive altruism with positive egoism.
It is not every one who has the good fortune to fulfill the conditions
necessary for this combination. A positive sexual morality is,
however, by no means excluded in less favorable conditions. Certain
psychopathic or feeble individuals may contract sterile marriages in
the manner previously indicated, and may recompense themselves for the
absence of children by devoting themselves all the more to social
duties, or to the education of abandoned orphans.
When a union is concluded between a person who is capable in all
respects, and another who is not, the latter should give the other
permission to procreate children by a third party, more adapted to
give rise to healthy offspring. Although this is immoral according to
current conventional opinion, it seems to me that such a proceeding
could become reconciled with positive morality in the future.
In short, whoever understands the true nature of sexual ethics will
always find a means of accomplishing good actions and avoiding bad
ones, at the same time satisfying his normal appetites, provided these
injure no one.
The truly moral man will never become the accomplice of such a social
iniquity as proxenetism with prostitution and all its satellites, but
will oppose them with all his power. He will always avoid doing wrong
to any one by his sexual appetite; and if his passion drives him to a
thoughtless act, he will do his utmost to redress the bad effects
which may result from it.
The psychological action produced by conjugal infidelity merits
special attention. It depends on the more or less egoistic or
altruistic qualities of the one who becomes enamored of a third
person. I have observed the two chief varieties of cases. If the
guilty husband has naturally moral and social sentiments, his
extra-nuptial love renders him still more affectionate toward his
legitimate wife. He eases his conscience by becoming more indulgent to
his wife. When his amorous intoxication is over, he will try to avoid
everything which may damage the reputation of the other woman, and
will provide for her future. If there are children by this adultery,
he will provide for them.
It is the same with a married woman who is in love with another man.
In this case the whole personality is more powerfully involved than in
man. But on the other hand, the natural energy of the woman will lead
her to try and arrange a marriage between her lover and some other
good woman, and to resist coitus with him.
If the matter goes as far as complete infidelity, and even without it,
various reactions may be observed. When her sentiments are monogamous,
as is the case with most women, the love of a woman for her husband
disappears and is replaced by pity. She easily becomes peevish in her
resignation. She often seeks divorce, even when adultery has not taken
place. When she is polyandrous, as is the case with many hysterical
women, she is quite capable of lavishing her caresses on her husband
as well as her lover, a thing which is impossible for normal women.
What induces want of respect for his wife in the unfaithful egoist, is
not so much the monogamous sentiment, which is somewhat exceptional in
man, but intoxication of his senses by another woman. He then becomes
miserly and disagreeable toward his wife, finding fault with her in
every way, but the innocent and deceived victim finally discovers the
true cause of this change of manner. Some women who are ill-treated in
this way, preserve their love for their husbands, while others never
pardon the slightest infidelity, not even an innocent platonic
affection, in their husbands.
The brutality of a husband toward his wife, when he is in love with
another, often knows no limits. From bad temper, chicanery, contempt
and hatred, he often goes on to blows and even murder, as the annals
of criminology prove too well. Egoistic women who have a lover, also
treat their husbands badly. Owing to their legal subordination and
comparative physical weakness, they reveal their sentiments in a less
brutal form, but malice and bad temper are not wanting. In such cases,
the woman's principal weapon is cunning, which may go as far as
poisoning the husband. More commonly she simply abandons him, to force
him to divorce.
There are many transitions and varieties, but the reactions we have
mentioned are the most common. It is quite natural, when one of the
conjoints falls in love with a third person, for the sexual appetite
to become cold toward the conjoint, and for this frigidity to make her
appear less desirable and show up her defects.
Sexual morality is twice mentioned in the ten commandments of Moses:
Seventh commandment: _Thou shall not commit adultery._
Tenth commandment: _Thy shall not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his
man servant, nor his maid servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor
anything that is thy neighbor's._
In the eleventh commandment of Jesus Christ the words: _Thou shall
love thy neighbor as thyself_, represent approximately the point of
view of modern ethics. Nevertheless contemporary social progress
requires more and better. It is not so exalted as to say "Love those
who persecute you," but it demands a more rational and better
formulated ethics, somewhat as follows: _Thou shall love humanity more
than thyself, and thou shalt seek thy happiness in the welfare of its
future._ Such a formula expresses the commandment of sexual ethics as
we have defined it.
In the commandments of Moses the wife is regarded as property, and the
desire for the wife of one's neighbor is threatened with divine
punishment inasmuch as it covets the property of one's neighbor. When
woman is treated as a free subject and as the equal and companion of
man, it is evident that a fundamental revision of such ideas is
requisite. Certain forms of adultery with voluntary consent on both
sides may even become positive from the moral point of view.
_In spite of this, one of the principal tasks of man's sexual morality
will always be to restrain his erotic polygamous desires, for the
simple reason that they are especially apt to injure the rights and
the welfare of others._ We must make exception for certain special
cases in which no one is injured. (Vide Couvreur's "_La Graine_," and
de Maupassant's "_Mouche_.")
The novelist loves to treat of tragic situations, often giving them a
fatal ending to excite the feelings of his readers. We must avoid
basing sexual ethics on such ideas. The average man, or even one whose
nature is a little above the average, is rarely as passionate as the
heroes in novels. He does not commit suicide for rejected love, but
finds compensation in time. He can even overcome jealousy.
It is thus an exaggeration, depending partly on the suggestion and
auto-suggestion of amorous intoxication, to require in the ethics of
love the absolute fusion of the personality of two human beings, a
mutual fusion of sentiments and ideas destined to last till death.
This kind of morality reverts to dual egoism, and in no way represents
the ideal of human happiness. However beautiful conjugal fidelity, its
exaggeration is deplorable, when it only results in the idolatrous
worship of a single being, living or dead, and regards the rest of the
world with indifference, if not with hostility.
We have already shown that the altruistic sentiments of man are the
direct or indirect[10] derivatives of the sexual appetite, and
especially of sexual love. The true secret of sexual ethics consists,
therefore, in a cult of altruism in the sexual domain. This cult
should not waste itself in moral phrases, but show its strength by
social deeds.
A sad proof of human weakness is given daily by certain forms of
modern ethics which waste themselves in public conferences or in
declamations in the press. This kind of morality is in accordance with
pure egoism. Without social work, it is not true morality, whether
this work be public or modestly hidden.
The struggle for existence was formerly carried on by man against
nature, against animals, and especially against other men. Nature and
animals (excepting the cosmic forces and microbes) are nowadays
conquered by the human brain, and wars are seldom waged except between
great empires, a fact which will sooner or later reduce them to
absurdity. For this reason the morality of the god of war and of
patriotic chauvinism has had his day and loses more and more his
reason for existence. Modern ethics has already become a social and
international human ethics, and will become more so in the future.
As in olden times a true hero knew how to combine love of his wife
with love for his country, to obtain in his conjugal union the
strength to fight for his ideal, so our modern love will serve to
stimulate us in the pursuit of an ideal, in our fight for social
welfare. Man and woman must fight side by side, as this struggle
requires from both an intense and lifelong effort. But it is precisely
in this effort, in this work, that they will obtain their highest
enjoyment. This effort supports and strengthens not only the muscles,
but especially the mind, the cerebral energy.
The struggle for social welfare prepares for us the highest and most
ideal joy. It teaches man to master himself, to overcome his natural
idleness, his desire for pleasure, his dependence on all kinds of
futile habits and base appetites. It educates his will, curbs his weak
and egoistic sentiments, while exercising his faculty for creating
good and useful works. Thanks to this incessant strife, a brain of
even mediocre quality may become a useful social instrument.
I ask in all sincerity if, living in the way we have just described, a
man will find the time and inclination to indulge in the love stories
which the novels of our libraries offer to readers of both sexes for
their daily consumption? I reply: if the man is normal, no. It is only
pathological natures, with their exaggerated sentiment and morbid
passions, which remain incapable of mastering their passionate
emotionalism and reducing it to silence. Other individuals, normal or
semi-normal, are artificially urged to exaggerated exaltation in the
sexual domain by idleness, by reading pernicious novels which excite
their sexual appetite and their sentimentality, also by the artificial
life and feverish activity of life in cities.
Work in itself is not sufficient, and every one ought to add social
work to his ordinary occupation. In fact, the monotony of any special
occupation, and even the exclusive work of a scientific speciality,
ends by giving the cerebral energy itself an exclusive character. The
moral sentiments become atrophied. Exclusiveness in a speciality,
practiced without any complement, easily leads to exclusiveness in
love (not in the sexual appetite!). We often see two egoists, or
several in a family, working together to exploit the rest of society.
As long as they keep in good health and their business prospers, as
long as the egoistic plans of a third party do not upset their
calculations, they may remain faithful to each other and live in
comparative happiness. But what else?
Whoever, on the contrary, has known how to combine with his conjugal
love, a lively interest in humanity, will always find in the latter a
consoling compensation for the greatest misfortunes and the most cruel
losses. He will not fall into a state of despair, but will survive his
trouble, and will become reconciled to men and society without
expecting anything from them, for he will have been accustomed all his
life to work in an impersonal manner.
If I am accused of being enthusiastic over an ideal which is
impossible to attain, I protest strongly. Good habits may always be
acquired, and true altruists are found among the most modest of men,
among simple workingmen or peasants who comprehend and realize the
ideal I have just depicted.
In Chapter XVII we shall see in what way the dispositions of the child
can be and ought to be developed in the direction indicated. It is
needless to say that pure egoists and perverse individuals, who are
negative from the moral point of view, in other words natures which
are evil and harmful by heredity, can never be educated so as to
become altruists. But these perverse natures do not form the majority.
The great majority of men, although idle and indifferent, may still
become habituated to social work by suitable education, as soon as the
external forces which urge them to evil, such as drink and the greed
for money, have been removed and replaced by beneficial forces.
Lastly, the whole attention of humanity should be directed toward its
proper selection, so as to increase the number of useful individuals,
and diminish or gradually eliminate the bad and incapable. But this is
the work of many centuries of enlightenment and education, a work
which we can only begin at present. We find ourselves here in face of
one of the weakest points in human nature, a weakness which consists
in only becoming enthusiastic over progress which will enable self to
attain its object, and not help others. When self does not quickly
obtain a palpable result, it is paralyzed and discouraged, and turns
its back on reform under the most futile pretexts. I will give an
example:
A young bachelor became enthusiastic over the social reform of
abstinence from alcohol. For some years he worked with zeal, took part
in numerous public demonstrations, and became an apostle of total
abstinence. One day, after some failure, he turned his back on
abstinence, declaring that the movement had no future. Nevertheless,
the social movement of abstinence progressed without him. After some
years, he was asked the reason why he had abandoned the movement.
After having first of all repeated his pretext, he confessed that he
did not wish to appear eccentric. He admitted that he had never felt
so well as when he was an abstainer, appeared somewhat astonished to
learn that the movement had made so much progress without him, was
finally convinced of his error, and promised to return to the camp of
the faithful.
In common daily events of this kind lies the secret of the slow
progress of every social reform. Men who are momentarily enthusiastic
nearly always expect everything to progress according to their
imagination, and when they see that it will be some time before any
obvious result is attained, they become discouraged, because they have
neither the personal courage nor the perseverance to remain in a
minority and wait. The same want of perseverance, courage and judgment
is found in the education of children, and it will take a long time to
enlighten people on this subject.
It would seem that we have lost sight of our subject in occupying
ourselves with the irradiation of love, which forms the object of
social sentiments or ethics (vide Chapter V). But it is by exactly
understanding and realizing this irradiation of love that we shall
gradually suppress the unhealthy social aberrations of the sexual
appetite, and prevent them doing harm, by guiding them in the path of
a healthy morality. It is not the severe external constraint of
so-called moral laws, it is not by the threats or punishments of hell,
nor the promise of paradise, nor the moral preachings of the priests,
parents or pedagogues, nor an exalted asceticism, which can ever
construct a healthy, just and lasting sexual ethics. It is not by
words that we recognize the value of moral precepts, but by their
results. It is quite certain that the sexual life of man can never
rise above its present state without being freed from the bonds of
mysticism and religious dogma, and based on a loyal and unequivocal
human morality which will recognize the normal wants of humanity,
always having as its principal object the welfare of posterity.
Marriage should be considered as a means of satisfying the sexual
appetite, and at the same time a moral and social school of life; not
as a refuge for egoism. Division of duties, absolute equality of
rights and social work in common, will solidify more and more the
sexual bonds of two conjoints. By the aid of a better understanding of
the wants of human society, the conjoints will learn how to overcome
their egoistic sentiments, their polygamous inclinations, and their
jealousy, etc.
In striving for happiness, and especially for the sexual happiness of
others, such conjoints will learn better how to excuse and pardon the
sexual failings of other men. They will cease to despise the poor
man's household, the girl-mother, the divorced wife, the concubine,
even the poor invert, and other failings in their fellow beings. On
the contrary, they will do their utmost to make their lot a happier
one, by helping all those for whom help may be efficacious. They will
find their greatest pleasure in this work, and if one of them becomes
himself the victim of some sexual failing, he will be pardoned all the
more easily, and will master it all the more quickly.
There will then be no time to make life bitter by bad temper, slander,
acrimony, sulking and other conjugal disputes. The husband will no
longer behave with the despotism of a lord and master, and the wife
will no longer think it her duty to humble herself. Religious dogmas
will no longer separate man from woman. Priests will no longer be
required in marriage. Lastly, there will be no more fear of death;
this will be regarded as a welcome rest after the long labor and duty
fulfilled of a well-spent life.
I cannot help taxing with narrow-mindedness, and even unintelligence,
persons who consider such an ideal of life as a fantasy impossible to
realize, or as the product of exalted dreamers who do not know the
world. No doubt this ideal cannot be attained by ill-constructed,
unnatural beings, tainted by a morbid heredity, or depraved by
idleness, vice and passion for pleasure, who have lost their
elasticity and plasticity of brain or have never possessed them. It
has, however, been often realized already by men and women of better
quality. It is, therefore, necessary to act on the children, both by
education and selection, in order to obtain a youth of superior
quality.
Let us not abandon the future of our race to the fatalism of Allah;
let us create it ourselves!
FOOTNOTES:
[10] It is true that the friendly union of individuals of the same sex
is often fundamentally derived from the phylogenetic development of
animal or human societies. But the sentiments of sympathy, on the sole
basis of which such friendly unions may be developed, are only
themselves the derivatives of the more primitive sentiments of
sympathy of one individual for another, and these latter have
originated in sexual attraction.
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