CHAPTER V

LOVE AND OTHER IRRADIATIONS OF THE SEXUAL APPETITE IN THE HUMAN MIND =Generalities. Jealousy.=--We have seen that the mechanism of the appetites consists in instincts inherited from our animal ancestors by mnemic engraphia and selection, and that it is situated in the primordial or lower cerebral centers (basal ganglia, spinal cord, etc.). In some of the lower animals we already find other instinctive nervous reactions which constitute the indirect effects or derivatives of the sexual appetite. The most evident of these is _jealousy_, or the feeling of grief and anger produced in an individual when the object of his sexual appetite is disputed by another individual of the same sex. Jealousy may also arise from other instincts, such as those of nutrition, ambition, etc.; but it forms one of the most typical complements of the sexual appetite, and leads, as we know, to furious combats, especially between males, sometimes also between females. Owing to its profoundly hereditary origin, this passion has a very instinctive character, and might quite as well have been mentioned in the preceding chapter. I deal with it here because it is naturally associated with other irradiations of the sexual appetite, and because it has a peculiarly mental character. =Relation Between Love and Sexual Appetite. Sympathy.=--Having entered the higher brain, or organ of mind, and become modified, complicated, and combined with the different branches of psychic activity, the sexual appetite takes the name of _love_, properly so-called. In order to better understand the relations of love to the sexual appetite we must refer to Chapter II. Let us begin with a short exposition of the phylogeny of the sentiments of sympathy, or the altruistic and social sentiments. In the lower animals with no separate sexes egoism reigns absolutely. Each individual eats as much as it wants, then divides, buds or conjugates, thus fulfilling the sole object of its existence. The same principle holds in the lower stages of reproduction by separate sexes. Spiders give us a good example. In these, copulation is a dangerous act for the male, for if he is not extremely careful he is devoured by the female, sometimes even before having attained his object, often soon afterward, in order that nothing may be lost. However, the female shows a certain consideration for her eggs, and sometimes even for the young after they are hatched. In higher stages of the animal kingdom sentiments of sympathy may be observed, derived from the sexual union of individuals. These are sentiments of attachment of the male for the female, and especially of the female (sometimes the male also) for their progeny. Such sentiments become developed and may be transformed into intense love between the sexes, of long duration. Birds, for instance, often remain faithful for many years, and even for life. From these simple facts is evolved the intimate relationship which exists between sexual love and other sentiments of sympathy, that is to say affection, or love in the more vague and more extended sense of the term. To every sentiment of sympathy between two individuals (sympathy forms part of the sentiments of pleasure) there is a corresponding contrary correlative sentiment of grief, when the object of sympathy dies, becomes sick, takes flight or is carried off. This sentiment often takes the form of simple sadness, but it may attain a degree of incurable melancholy. Among certain monkeys and parrots, we often see the death of one of the conjoints lead to the refusal of all food and finally to death of the survivor, after increasing sadness and depression. Removal of the young produces a profound sadness in the female ape. But when an animal discovers the cause of the grief, when, for instance, a stranger attempts to take away his mate or his young, a mixed reaction of sentiment is produced, that is to say anger or even fury against the perpetrator of the deed. Jealousy is only a special form of this anger. The sentiment of anger and its violent and hostile expression constitute the natural reaction against one who disturbs a sentiment of pleasure, a reaction which tends to reëstablish the latter. The power of the sentiment of anger increases with the offensive and defensive faculties, while, in weak and peaceful beings, terror and sadness to a great extent take their place. On the other hand, the sight of defenseless prey suffices to provoke, in the rapacious who are strong and well armed, by simple reflex association, a cruel sentiment of voluptuous anger, which is also observed in man. =Sentiment of Duty.=--Another derivative of the sentiment of sympathy is that of _duty_, that is the moral sense. All sentiment of love or sympathy urges the one who loves to certain acts destined to increase the welfare of the object loved. This is why the mother nourishes her young and plucks feathers and hairs to make them a soft bed; and why the father brings food to his wife and young, and defends them against their enemies. All these acts, which are not to the advantage of the individual but to the object or objects of his sympathy, exact more or less laborious efforts, courage in the face of danger, etc. They thus provoke an internal struggle between the sentiment of sympathy and egoism, or the unpleasantness of undertaking things which are troublesome and disagreeable for the individual himself. From this struggle between two opposed series of sentiments is derived a third group of complex or mixed sentiments, that of duty, or _moral conscience_. When the sentiment of sympathy prevails, when the animal does his duty toward his young and his conjoint, he feels a sentiment of pleasure, of duty accomplished. If, on the contrary, he has been negligent, the egoistic instincts having for the moment prevailed, the remorse of conscience results, that is the painful uneasiness which follows all disobedience to the instinctive sentiments of sympathy. This uneasiness accumulates in the brain in the form of self-discontent, and may lead to an accentuated sentiment of _repentance_. These phenomena exist both in the male and in the female, and if it was not so, the accomplishment of duty would be impossible; the cat would run away instead of defending her young; would eat her prey instead of giving it to them, etc. We thus see the elements of human social sentiment already very marked in many animals. Remorse and repentance can only be formed on the basis of preëxisting sentiments of sympathy. =Sentiment of Kinship.=--A higher degree of the sentiments of sympathy is developed when these do not remain limited to a temporary union, but when the union of the sexes is transformed into durable or even life-long marriage, as we see in monkeys and in most birds. In another manner the sentiments of sympathy are developed by extension of the family community to a greater number of individuals, who are grouped together for the common defense, as we see in swallows, crows, and to a higher degree, in the large organized communities of social animals, as the beavers, bees, ants, etc. In the latter, the sentiment of sympathy and duty nearly always affects all the individuals of the community, while anger and jealousy are extended toward every being which does not form part of it. We must be blinded by prejudice not to comprehend that these same general facts, revealed by the study of biology and animal psychology, are repeated in the human mind. Some animals are even superior to the majority of men in the intensity of their sentiments of sympathy and duty, as well as in love and conjugal fidelity--monkeys and parrots, for example. In the social insects, such as the ants and bees, with their communities so solidly organized and so finely coördinated on the basis of instinct, the sentiment of social duty has almost entirely replaced the individual sentiments of sympathy. An ant or a bee only loves, so to speak, the whole assemblage of his companions. It does not sacrifice itself for any one of them in particular, but only for the community. In these animals the individual is only regarded as a number in the community whose motto is--one for all, but never all for one. In bees especially, the degree of sympathy extended to a member or a class of the hive is exactly proportional to the utility of this member to the community. The working bees will kill themselves or die of hunger in order to nourish their queen, while in the autumn they ruthlessly massacre all the males or drones which have become useless. =Sentiments of Patriotism and Humanity.=--The human brain, so powerful and so complicated, contains a little of all these things, with enormous individual variations. In man, the sentiments of sympathy and duty relate especially to the family, that is to say, they are to a great extent limited to individuals interested in a sexual community, viz., the conjoints and children, as occurs generally in mammals. It follows that sentiments of sympathy connected with larger communities such as remote relatives, the clan, the community, the country, those who speak the same language, etc., are relatively much weaker, and result from education and custom rather than from instinct. The weakest sentiment is certainly that of _humanity_, which regards each man as a brother and companion, and from which is evolved the general sentiment of solidarity or social duty. How can it be otherwise in a species which has lived for thousands or perhaps millions of years as small hostile tribes, separated from each other? Primitive men were so destitute of all humanitarian sentiment that they not only killed one another and practiced mutual slavery, but also martyred, tortured and even devoured one another. In spite of all this, and as the result of custom and life in common, the individual sentiments of sympathy in man are easily extended to members of other races, especially as regards different sexes, so much so that enemies conquered and taken prisoners often became later on, owing to life in common, the friends or mates of their conquerors. =Antipathy.=--Inversely, individual antipathies and enmity often occur not only between members of the same tribe but even between those of the same family. The latter may lead to parricide, fratricide, infanticide, or assassination of a conjoint. =Phylogeny of Love.=--The social life of ants offers us some instructive analogies. In spite of the intense hostility of different colonies of ants among themselves, there may be obtained by habitude, often after many desperate combats, alliances between colonies which were hitherto enemies, even between colonies of different species. These alliances henceforth become permanent. This is very curious to observe at the time when the alliance begins to be formed. We then see certain individual hatreds persist, to a varying extent, for several days. Certain individuals of the weaker party are maltreated by other individuals of the conquering party. They cut off their limbs and antennæ and often martyrize them to death with a rabidness that sadly resembles human sentiments! Hatred and dispute between individuals of the same colony of ants are, on the other hand, extremely rare. I can guarantee the correctness of all these observations, having often repeated them myself and having recorded them in my works on the habits of ants. Moreover, they have since been confirmed by other writers. After what we have just said, and especially if we take into consideration the numerous observations which have been made in biology, we can hardly doubt that the sentiment of sexual attraction, or the sexual appetite, has been the primary source of nearly all, if not all, the sentiments of sympathy and duty which have been developed in animals and especially in man. Many of these sentiments are no doubt little by little completely differentiated and rendered entirely independent of sexual sentiment, forming a series of corresponding conceptions adapted to divers social objects in the form of sentiments of amity. The latter in their turn have often become the generators of social formations and of a more generalized altruism. Many others, however, have remained more or less consciously associated with the sexual appetite, as is certainly the case in man. This short sketch which we have given of the phylogenetic history of love and its derivatives is sufficient to show the immense influence which sexual life has exercised on the whole development of the human mind. On the other hand, we must avoid exaggerating the actual importance of this influence. Young children, who possess neither sexual appetite nor corresponding sensations, already give evidence not only of intense sentiments of sympathy and antipathy, anger and jealousy, but also of commiseration, when they see those whom they love suffer; they may even show that they already possess the sentiment of duty or disinterested devotion. All these phylogenetic derivatives of the sentiments of sexual attraction are thus developed in the individual long before the sexual instinct itself, from which they have become absolutely independent. This does not prevent them being powerfully influenced by the sexual instinct when this awakes, or from being associated with its direct derivatives when the sexual appetite, properly so-called, is absent. Thus we see absolutely cold women become loving and devoted wives and mothers, and possessing a highly developed sense of kinship. Maternal love is a sentiment of sympathy derived from the sexual sentiment, adapted directly to children, who are the products of sexual life. =Constellations.=--From all this results the immense complication of the peculiarities of the human mind which are connected with love. Individual variations of the disposition to sexual appetite are combined with individual dispositions to the higher qualities of mind--general sentiments, intelligence and will--to form the most diverse individual combinations, which we may call _constellations_. Moreover, inherited individual dispositions are combined in man with a great number of experiences and remembrances, acquired in all domains in the course of his life, accumulating them in his brain by what is called education or adaptation to environment. From the immense complexity of energies resulting from hereditary dispositions combined with acquired factors, the resolutions and acts of man are derived, without his being able to account for the infinite multiplicity of causes which determine them. It is thus that a man may be a model of conduct or morality, simply from the fact that his sexual appetite is almost nil. Another, on the contrary, suffers from an exaggerated sexual appetite, but is devoted, conscientious, and even scrupulous; this results in violent internal struggles, from which he does not always emerge victorious. A third is moderate in his appetites; if his sentiment of duty is strong and he possesses a strong will, he will resist his desires, while if his will is weak or his moral sense defective, he will succumb to the first temptation. Love and sexual appetite may be intimately connected or completely separated in the same individual. In the same way that a cold woman may be a good mother, a very sensual woman may be a bad one, but the inverse may also be met with. =Love.=--I speak here of the true love of a higher nature of one sex for the other, or _sexual love_, which is not simple friendship, but is combined with sexual appetite. To write on love is almost to pour water into the ocean, for literature is three parts composed of dissertations on love. There can be no doubt that the normal man feels a great desire for love. The irradiations of love in the mind constitute one of the fundamental conditions of human happiness and one of the principal objects of life. Unfortunately, the question is too often treated with exaggerated sentiment, or on the other hand, with sensual cynicism; it is examined from one side only, or else it is misunderstood. First of all, love appears to be usually kindled by the sexual appetite. This is the celebrated story of Cupid's arrow. One falls in love with a face, a look, a smile, a white breast, a sweet and melodious voice, etc. However, the relations between love and sexual appetite are extremely delicate and complex. In man, the second may exist without the first and love may often persist without appetite, while in woman the two things are difficult to separate, and in any case, in her, the original appetite without love is much more rare. The two things are thus not identical; even the most materialistic and libidinous egoist will agree to this, if he is not too narrow-minded. It may also happen that love precedes appetite, and this often leads to the most happy unions. Two characters may have extreme mutual sympathy, and this purely intellectual and sentimental sympathy may at first develop without a shadow of sensuality. This is nearly always the case when it exists from infancy. In modern society an enormous number of sexual unions, or marriages, are consummated without a trace of love, and are based on pure speculation, conventionality or fortune. Here it is tacitly assumed that the normal sexual appetite combined with custom will cement the marriage and render it durable. As the normal man has not, as a rule, extreme sentiments, such prevision is usually realized on the whole, the conjoints becoming gradually adapted to one another, more or less successfully according to the discoveries which are made after marriage. Even when they are relatively true, love stories generally deal with exceptional cases, often even pathological; for the average marriage does not appear to the novelist sufficiently piquant or interesting to captivate his readers. We are not concerned here with extremes, or with the tragic situations met with in novels, but with normal and ordinary love, as it most often occurs in reality. After what we have just said, it is clear that love is derived from two factors: (1) _momentary sexual passion_; (2) _the hereditary and instinctive sentiments of sympathy which are derived from the primordial sexual appetite of our animal ancestors, but which have become completely independent of this appetite_. Between these two terms are placed the sentiments of sympathy experienced by the individual in his former life, which have most often been provoked by sexual desire for an individual of the opposite sex, and which may be evoked by the aid of remembrance, kindled afresh, and contribute strongly to maintain constancy of love. These different sentiments pass into each other in all possible shades, and continually react on each other. Sexual appetite, for example, awakens sympathy, and is awakened by the latter in its turn; on the contrary, it is cooled or extinguished under the influence of bad conduct on the part of the person loved. Let us here recall a law of the sentiments of sympathy, a law which is well known, but generally forgotten in human calculations. Man loves best those to whom he devotes himself, and not those from whom he receives benefits.[3] It is easy to be convinced of the reality of this fact in the relations of parents to their children, as well as in marriage. When one of the conjoints in marriage adulates the other, the latter may easily find this adulation quite natural, and may love the other conjoint much less than a spoilt child, to which is devoted all the transports of an unreasonable affection. The spoilt child, the object of such blind affection, more often responds to it by indifference, or even by ingratitude, disdain and impertinence. We find everywhere this play of sentiments, which considerably impedes mutuality in love. It may even concern inanimate objects. We like a garden, a house or a book over which we have taken much pains, and we remain indifferent to the most beautiful and precious gifts which come by themselves without our making any effort to obtain them. In the same way, the child becomes attached to some toy which he has made himself, and disdains the costly presents given by his parents. As a poet has said: "Man only enjoys for long and without remorse the goods dearly paid for by his efforts." (Sully-Prudhomme: "_Le Bonheur_.") There is, therefore, a profound psychology in the old and wise saying that true love expresses itself as often by refusal as by compliance, and should always associate itself with reason. No doubt this is not primitive love; it is a love elevated and purified by its combination with the elements of intelligence. In marriage, more than one husband thinks he ought to be separated from his wife and children so as not to spoil them. There is no need of a long explanation to show the fallacy of this idea. To be complete, love should be reciprocal, and to remain mutual it requires mutual education in marriage. Every husband should above all be separated from himself, and not from his wife. If each one did all in his power to promote the happiness of the other, this altruistic effort would strengthen his own sentiments of sympathy. This requires a constant and loyal effort on each side, but it avoids the illusion of a false love, provoked by the senses, vanishing like smoke or becoming changed to hatred. Without being blind to the weaknesses of his partner he must learn to like them as forming part of the person to whom he has devoted his heart, and employ all his skill in correcting them by affection, instead of increasing his own weakness by leaning on them. It is necessary, therefore, neither to admire nor to dislike the defects of the loved one, but to try and attenuate them by aid of integral love. Love has been defined as "dual egoism." The reciprocal adulation of two human beings easily degenerates into egoistic enmity toward the rest of the human race, and this often reacts harmfully on the quality of love. Human solidarity is too great, especially at the present day, for such exclusivism in love not to suffer. I would define ideal love as follows: _After mature consideration, a man and a woman are led by sexual attraction, combined with harmony of character, to form a union in which they stimulate each other to social work, commencing this work with their mutual education and that of their children._ Such a conception of love refines this sentiment and purifies it to such an extent that it loses all its pettiness, and it is pettiness which so often causes it to degenerate, even in its most loyal forms. The social work in common of a man and woman united by true affection, full of tenderness and devotion for one another, mutually encouraging each other to perseverance and to action, will easily triumph over petty jealousies and all other instinctive reactions of the phylogenetic exclusiveness of natural love. The sentiments of love will thus become ever more ideal, and will no longer provide egoism with the soil of idleness and comfort on which it grows like a weed. =Inconvenience of Abstinence from Sexual Connection Between Married Couples by Medical Orders.=--It is a matter of common observation that in marriage, at least during mature life, sexual connection strengthens and maintains love, even when it only constitutes part of that which cements tenderness and affection. In many cases I have observed that medical orders, given no doubt with good intentions, and forbidding sexual connection, on account of certain morbid conditions, have had the effect of cooling the sentiments of love and sympathy and producing indifference which soon becomes incurable. Physicians should always bear this in mind in their prescriptions, of which they too often see the immediate object only. The medical prohibition of sexual connection in marriage should be reserved for cases of absolute necessity. For example: A virtuous and capable man marries for love an intelligent but somewhat ill-developed girl. The marriage is happy and they have several children. But after a time certain local disorders in the woman induce the medical man to forbid sexual connection with her husband. They begin to sleep in separate rooms, and little by little intimate love becomes so far cooled that the renewal of sexual relations later on becomes impossible. The husband's sentiments are so much affected as to render him unfaithful to his moral principles, and to lead him occasionally to visit prostitutes. Although they have become essentially strangers to each other, the husband and wife continue to live together an apparently happy life; but this is far from always the case. =Durable Love.=--It may be stated as a principle that true and elevated love is durable, and that the sudden passion which lets loose the sexual appetite toward an individual of the opposite sex, hitherto a stranger, in no way represents the measure of true love. Passion warps the judgment, conceals the most evident faults, colors everything in celestial purple, renders the lovers blind, and veils the true character of each from the other. We are only speaking here of cases where each is loyal and where the sexual appetite is not associated with the cold calculations of egoism. Reason only returns when the first tempest of a passion which seemed insatiable has subsided, when the honeymoon of marriage, or of a free union, has passed. Then only is it possible to see if what remains is true love, indifference, hatred or a mixture of these three sentiments, capable or not of becoming more or less adaptable and tolerable. This is why sudden amours are always dangerous, and why only long and profound mutual acquaintance before marriage can lead to a happy and lasting union. Even in this case the unforseen is not absent, for it is very rarely that one knows a man and his ancestry; moreover, acquired diseases or mental anomalies may cause his character to degenerate later on. Let us now examine some psychic phenomena more or less connected with love. For reasons which we have mentioned the irradiations of sexual love are on the whole less developed in man than in woman. PSYCHIC IRRADIATIONS OF LOVE IN MAN =Masculine Audacity.=--In the normal male the sentiment of sexual power favors self-exaltation, while the contrary sentiment of impotence, or even that of mediocre sexual power, depresses this sentiment of exaltation. Yet, in reality, the sexual power of man has not the capital importance for a normal and virgin woman that men imagine, influenced as they are by self-exaltation; what imposes on women is especially masculine audacity, and in sexual matters this increases with experience and practice. The company of prostitutes often renders men incapable of understanding feminine psychology, for prostitutes are hardly more than automata trained for the use of male sensuality. When men look among these for the sexual psychology of woman they only find their own mirror. Man's flirtation, and his art of paying court to women are naturally combined with his audacity, as we have already observed in birds and mammals, and some of the lower animals. The male seeks to please the female to gain her favors. The brilliant colors of butterflies and birds, song, skill and proof of strength, often come to the aid of the male sexual instinct. Even in certain animals supplicant and plaintive sounds assist the male after his repeated refusal, apparently or in reality, by the female. We shall see in Chapter VI that savage men have a much greater tendency to tattoo and adorn themselves than have the women. The art which man employs to seduce and conquer woman has been described to satiety in romances and novels, as well as in ethnographic works; so that we shall not dwell on it here. On the contrary, we shall show that in higher civilizations man is in general more sought after than woman, so that the latter has surpassed him in the art of flirtation or sexual conquest. It is also important to remark to what extent the increase of man's mental complexity transforms his sexual tactics. The simple, natural, and at the same time bashful, modest manner, in which a naïve young man seeks to conquer a heart, usually produces no effect on the fashionable young lady, experienced in all refined pleasures and saturated with unhealthy novels. These young women are much more easily seduced by the art of Don Juan and the old _roués_, who are more adequate to deal with them because they have studied practically the psychology of the modern woman. =Instinct of Procreation.=--Another irradiation of the male sexual instinct, connected with the preceding, is the instinct of procreation. If there were no other difficulties or consequences, man would without the least doubt be instinctively inclined to copulate with as many women as he could, and procreate as many children as possible. The more he is capable of satisfying his procreative instinct, the more he becomes self-exalted, as he thus sees himself multiplied and feels his power extended by the possession of a great number of wives and children. This is one of the principal causes which urge rich men and polygamous peoples to possess many women. Coitus without object, like that of prostitution, can only assuage the sexual appetite and does not satisfy any of its higher irradiations. It is well known that a happy betrothal, reposing on true love, and not on pecuniary interests, often transforms a young man from pessimism to optimism, from misogyny to philogyny. Skeptics smile at this transformation and regard it as only the transient intoxication of love. This may be true in some cases, but, as we have seen above, when love is ennobled by deep understanding and mutual education, when each knows and respects the other, the transformation remains definite, and is strengthened so much that the honeymoon of the silver wedding is often happier and more exalted than that which followed marriage. We can then say that the optimism created by sexual union cemented by true love rests on the normal accomplishment of the object of life. I cannot too often repeat that work in common, especially social work, on the part of the conjoints, is necessary for their happiness to be complete, and to survive in the one who remains after the decease of the other. =Jealousy.=--The worst irradiation, or rather the worst reaction of contrast of love, which we have inherited from our animal ancestors, and that which is the most deeply rooted, is _jealousy_. Jealousy is a heritage of animals and barbarism; that is what I would say to all those who, in the name of offended honor, would grant it rights and even place it on a pedestal. It is ten times better for a woman to marry an unfaithful than a jealous husband. From the phylogenetic point of view, jealousy originates in the struggle for the possession of woman, at a period when right depended only on brute force. Cunning and violence contended with each other, and when the conqueror was in possession of a female, he had to guard her jealously to prevent her being abducted. Furious combats ensued. As soon as an unaccustomed approach, a look or anything else awakened the least suspicion of the presence of a rival, the male was tormented with a continual and instinctive feeling of defiance and distrust, often increased by the remembrance of the sadness of former defeats and the impotent rage which followed. The results of male jealousy in the history of marriage are truly incredible. I may mention the iron girdles with locks--the so-called girdles of chastity--which we still see in certain museums, which the knights of the Middle Ages put on their wives when they set off to the wars, in order to appease their jealousy. Many savage peoples do not content themselves with severely punishing adultery in woman, even by death, but even simple conversations with a strange man. Jealousy transforms marriage into a hell. It is often exalted in man to the point of a mania for persecution, to which it is analogous. It is also a very common symptom of alcoholism. Then the life of the unfortunate woman who is the object of it becomes a continual martyrdom. Perpetual suspicion accompanied by insults, threats and violent words, and even homicide may be the result of this atrocious passion. Even in its more moderate and normal form, jealousy is a torment, for distrust and suspicion poison love. We often hear of justified jealousy; I maintain, on the contrary, that jealousy is never justified, and that it is only the brutal stupidity of an atavistic heritage, or a pathological symptom. A reasonable man who has doubts as to the fidelity of his wife has certainly the right to assure himself of their correctness. But of what use is it to be jealous? If he finds his suspicions false he has, by his manner, made his wife unnecessarily unhappy and destroyed conjugal confidence and happiness. If, on the contrary, his suspicions are well founded he has only to choose between one of two ways. If it is a case of amorous intoxication suggested by another man to his wife, who is often very unhappy about it, she may then be restored to her husband and pardoned, for in this case affection only can cure her, never jealousy. If, however, love for her husband is entirely extinguished in her, or if she is only a false intriguer without character, jealousy is even more absurd, for the game is not worth the candle, and immediate divorce is necessary. Unfortunately, man only possesses very little control over his feelings when these are violent. The jealous person by nature, that is by heredity, is generally incurable and poisons his own existence at the same time as that of his wife. Such individuals should never marry. In lunatic asylums, in law, and in novels jealousy plays an important part, for it is one of the most fruitful sources of tragedies and human unhappiness. The combined and persevering efforts of education and selection are necessary to gradually eliminate it from the human brain. We often hear it said of man and woman that they are not jealous enough, because they are too indulgent toward the extra-nuptial inclinations of their conjoint. When such indulgence rests on cynical indifference or on pecuniary interests, it is not the want of jealousy but the want of moral sense which is to blame. If it arises from real and reasoned love, it should on the contrary be highly respected and praised. I would wish all heroes of offended honor and all defenders of jealousy to reflect on the following case: A man of high position, and the father of five children, lived in the most happy union. One day he made the acquaintance of a friend of his wife, a very intelligent and well-educated lady. Frequent visits and long conversations led to intimacy which developed into violent reciprocal love. However, the lady refused to abandon herself entirely. The husband confessed everything to his wife, even to the smallest details, and the lady did the same. Instead of becoming jealous, the wife had the good sense and the courage to treat the two lovers not only with indulgence, but a true and profound affection. The loyalty of each of the parties interested greatly facilitated the gradual _dénouement_ of a difficult situation, without the family affections suffering. But the _dénouement_ would have been quite as peaceful if the lady had yielded to sexual connection with the husband. In fact, the wife herself considered this question very seriously and calmly, in case the fire could not be otherwise extinguished. I ask in all sincerity, if such mild and humane treatment of an unfortunate love affair, in which the three interested parties each strove to avoid all scandal and everything which could damage their mutual reputation, I ask if this good and loyal treatment is not, from the moral standpoint, far superior to scenes of jealousy, duels, divorces and all their consequences, things which are all sanctioned and even sanctified by custom? I also know many cases where the husbands of women who have fallen in love with other men have conducted themselves in an equally noble and reasonable manner, even when their wives had been completely unfaithful, and the results have always been good. It is needless to say that I do not wish to maintain that a husband should tolerate indefinitely the bad conduct of his wife, nor a woman that of her husband; but this is another thing. =Sexual Braggardism.=--Let us pass on to another irradiation of the male sexual appetite--sexual braggardism. This arises from self-exaltation evolved from the sexual power of man. Like jealousy, this sentiment is no doubt inherited from our animal ancestors, and it finds its analogy, or rather its caricature, in the cock, the peacock, the turkey, and in general among the richly adorned males of polygamous species. Although on the whole more innocent, the results of this atavistic instinct are no more elevated than those of jealousy. The sentiment of sexual power induces men, especially those of lower mental caliber, to boast of their sexual conquests and exaggerate them. It is needless to say that success does not go to the unskillful boaster, but to the one who relates his audacious exploits in a casual way. The Don Juan experienced in the art of seduction approaches women with audacity and _aplomb_, and usually imposes on them considerably, whatever his ignorance of other things. He has instinctively learnt one thing: viz., the weakness of woman in the face of the male form, theatrical effect, uniforms, an audacious act, a fierce mustache, etc. He has learnt that these fireworks hypnotize her and silence her reason, and that she is then capable of enthusiasm for the most doubtful cavalier and delivers herself to him bound hand and foot, provided his self-assurance does not desert him. I may say here that it is most often men of low intellect, weak in judgment and principles, who think themselves most superior to the feminine sex, and who behave as tyrants to their wives. Sexual braggardism has, moreover, grave consequences for the man himself, for it urges him to excesses which far exceed his appetites and especially his natural wants. In spite of other advantages, he wishes to shine by these excesses among his fellows and even among the grisettes whose minds are full of sexual matters. Male sexual braggardism contributes with sexual appetite to entice reserved and high-minded young men toward prostitutes, against their better instincts, their reason and their moral sense. Alcohol especially facilitates the degeneration of sexual life. =The Pornographic Spirit.=--The term _eroticism_ is given to the state of excitation of the sexual appetite. When a person cultivates it artificially and abandons himself to purely animal sensuality, without combining it with higher intellectual or moral aspirations, there develop in the mind irradiations which may be designated by the term _pornographic spirit_. The entire circle of ideas of such individuals is so impregnated with eroticism that all their thoughts and sentiments are colored by it. They see everywhere, even in the most innocent objects, the most lewd allusions. Woman is only regarded by them as an object of sexual enjoyment, and her mind only appears to such satyrs as an ignoble erotic caricature, which is disgusting to every man capable of lofty sentiments. Owing to its usually sensual and gross nature, male eroticism has succeeded in modeling a whole class of women in whom ideal character in their desires is wanting. Instead of recognizing his own work and the vile image of his own person in these unnatural women, the libertine, as we have already seen, imagines them as the normal type of woman. From the height of his presumption, he then despises woman and does not perceive that it is himself whom he despises; for on the whole, from the sexual point of view, the dependent woman of to-day conforms herself to man and becomes what he makes her. The number of coitus, their details, the size and form of the sexual organs, the pleasure of having cut out other men, and especially the pathological perversions of the sexual appetite, form the chief object of the thoughts and conversations of pornographic minds. Each tries to outdo the others in sexual enormities, and the virtuosity of these gentlemen in this domain is only surpassed by their ignorance and incapacity in all others. Prostitution and all the modern sexual degeneration which marches under the hypocritical flag of Christianity, civilization and monogamy, have so far developed the pornographic spirit that men living in centers of debauchery, centers which are unfortunately extending more and more from town to country, lose all conception of the noble qualities natural to the feminine sentiment and to true love, or only preserve a few shreds of it which they treat with ridicule. Many men have admitted this to me, after being much astonished when I was obliged to give them quite another conception of love and woman, without introducing the least trace of religion. No doubt certain better individuals, fallen by chance into debauchery, speak respectfully of a mother or a sister, for whom they profess an almost religious worship. They regard these as beings apart, as species of a lost race of demigods, and they do not perceive that they discredit them and drag them in the mud by their contempt and pornographic conception of woman in general, a conception which is moreover often altered to profound pessimism. In the relatively moral circles of society, our description would no doubt be taxed with exaggeration, because natures a little more refined have the habit of acting like the ostrich who hides his head in the sand, that is to say of turning their eyes away from the pornographic swamp with disgust so as not to see it, and thus avoid it instinctively. But this maneuver serves no purpose: the facts remain as they are. Eroticism is no more a vice than sexual anæsthesia is a virtue. Even when they are chaste, men of libidinous nature require a strong will to resist all the artificial seductions which excite their sensuality. This is why the bog of debauchery engulfs so many men of a naturally good nature. In this sense, cold natures are better off; they can cover themselves with the glory of a "virtue" the resplendent rays of which become lost in a penumbra of defects and weaknesses from which these natures suffer in other domains. =Sexual Hypocrisy.=--Hypocrisy is a peculiarity deeply rooted in the human mind. We can affirm that whoever pretends never to have been a hypocrite lies, quite as much as one who swears he has never lied. But nowhere, save perhaps in the domain of religion, does hypocrisy play a greater part than in the sexual domain. Nowhere is there so much falsehood, and men who are most honest on other points make no scruple of deceiving their wives in this respect. I do not speak here of the simulation of sentiments of love, for it is too banal, and there is no need to be too exacting over this point, for there are strong attenuating circumstances. First of all, erotic feelings are capable of blinding man for the moment, as far as persuading him of the eternal duration of love and fidelity which he promises the object of his appetites, as well as of the reality of the celestial qualities under which this object appears to him, or with which it pleases him to adorn it. Two persons mutually excited by sexual passion are fascinated by the illusions of a mirage, which often vanishes soon afterward, so that it is not rare to see them on the following day hurling the most violent abuse at each other. Those who have not been witnesses of such events may hardly believe them. It is sufficient, however, to be a magistrate or to read the reports of lawsuits between debased persons as the result of love quarrels, broken engagements or marriages, seductions, etc., to study the letters that the two parties have written before and after their quarrel, in order to be convinced of the correctness of what we have said above. In the first letters the lovers adulate each other and adorn each other with the most hyperbolic epithets, swearing eternal love and fidelity, and deluding each other in the most absurd manner. In letters written sometimes only a few days later we are astonished to see the same individuals grossly insulting each other and mutually covering themselves with ignoble calumnies. This is how passion without reason passes through the furnaces of love and hatred, dragging after it all the artificial scaffolding of what man imagines to be his right based on logic, but which is in reality only a tissue of ridiculous contradictions, the automatic and inept product of his emotional state. Such contrasts are so frequent that we can easily recognize the expression of a psychological law, due to the mirages of the amorous passions on the one hand and the inverse reaction on the other. Nevertheless hypocrisy has its good side. It has been said not without reason that "hypocrisy is a concession which vice makes to virtue." In their nakedness human thoughts are often so sadly vulgar and so offensive that a little varnish improves them. In this sense, and when it comes from a feeling of shame or good-will, hypocrisy deserves a good deal of the eulogy which Mark Twain has heaped on it in his charming satire, "The Decadence of the Art of Lying." In the sexual question hypocrisy is directly provoked by the tyranny and barbarism of what are called good manners, often even by the law. In this sense it constitutes a response of human nature to the forms and customs derived from the right of the stronger or from religious superstitions, as well as from the dogmas resulting from them. By the term _sexual hypocrisy_ I do not mean the repugnant forms of hypocrisy pure and simple, in which man only exploits love indirectly for an interested end, for instance when he simulates love to obtain a rich wife. I only speak of the forms of hypocrisy which are directly evolved from the sexual appetite or from love. It is from this point of view that we must judge sexual hypocrisy, and if I have laid special stress on its good points, it is in view of marriage, where it assists the education of noble and elevated sentiments even in the hypocrite. By praising the virtues of his helpmate with a little exaggeration, these are made to appear more noble. If the time is spent in saying disagreeable truths, love is soon stifled and killed. On the contrary, if each conjoint attributes to the other as fine qualities as possible, each is finally persuaded that the other really possesses them, and then realizes them himself, at any rate in part. The worst of hypocrisies is that which is the product of base pecuniary interests, or of a gross sexual appetite without love, or lastly by the pressure of conventional or religious customs. Good hypocrisy consists in the repression of all that is base in the sentiments, inclinations and passions; in the fact that one strives to hide it from others, even from one's self, and to suggest in its place as many amiable qualities as possible, so as to strengthen in a disinterested manner the object of one's love in noble sentiments. This kind of hypocrisy is in reality an indirect product of altruistic sentiments. One perceives with pain on reflecting, either the absence of spontaneous sentiments of sympathy, or the presence of disgust and bad temper, and one strives to hide the thing by sympathetic expressions for which one seeks an object, and to which one would wish to give a durable character. Loyal efforts made in this direction often succeed in correcting the egoistic humor with which one is affected, and in giving rise to the sentiments one desires to experience. One must not, however, by only looking at one side of the question, allow such efforts to degenerate into maladroit blindness, which will only have the effect of spoiling the person one loves. =Egoistic Love.=--It is obvious that the psychic irradiations of the sexual sense are strongly influenced by the individuality of the one who loves. The egoist loves in a manner naively egoistic. He is not wanting in fine words, but in his opinion all sentiment and respect is due to his person, while he reduces to a minimum his duties toward the object of his love. He exacts much from the other and gives little. The good man with altruistic sentiments feels things in an inverse way; he exacts little from others, and much from himself. Love differs in different natures, according as they are calm or lively, imbecile or intelligent, well educated or otherwise: the will plays a great part here. Weakness and impulsiveness are found in love, as well as energy and perseverance. In the last point woman is superior, owing to the greater constancy of her love. There is thus no domain of the mind which is not influenced by love, and which does not react on love in its turn. Intellectual occupations are facilitated by a happy love, while they are usually hindered by the sorrows of love. Even men of science, so proud of their calmness, are often more influenced than one would think in their scientific opinions by their emotional sentiments. Without a man being aware of it, his sentiments insinuate themselves into the opinions which he believes to be of a purely intellectual nature, and direct them unconsciously with much more power than he generally imagines. Such influences act chiefly on individuals disposed to sentimentality. In love, these individuals resemble two-edged swords; the intensity of their emotional reactions and sentiments drives them from one extreme to another, from foolish happiness to despair or fury. The situation becomes still more grave when such storms burst among impulsive persons of weak will and limited intelligence. Under such circumstances ill-assorted alliances are formed which lead to violent quarrels, and sometimes even to crime. When jealousy comes on the scene the man often kills the woman and commits suicide. It would seem that such crime can only arise from egoism; this is often the case, but not always. Despair may often lead to such acts, without any motive of vengeance, or even of jealousy. The storm of passion drives weak-minded persons to impulsive actions, the motives of which are very difficult to analyze. After these tragedies of murder preceding suicide, when the murderer survives, he often expresses himself as follows: "I was in such a state of despair and excitement that I saw no other issue than death for both of us." =Prudery. Modesty.=--The sentiment of modesty originates in the fear of everything which is novel and unusual, and is complicated by natural timidity. This sentiment is especially strong in children. The sentiment of sexual modesty in man thus rests on timidity and on the fear of not doing as others do. It betrays itself toward women by awkwardness and bashfulness behind which eroticism is often ill concealed. The timid and bashful man carefully endeavors to hide his sexual feelings from others. The object of modesty is in itself immaterial to the psychology of this sentiment, and shame is sometimes inspired not only by very different things but even by opposite things. One youth is ashamed of appearing erotic, another of appearing too little erotic, according to the opinion of his neighbors. Modesty depends on the custom of covering or exposing certain parts of the body, and people who live in a state of nature are as much ashamed of clothes as we are ashamed of nudity. Moreover, man soon becomes accustomed to fashion, and the same English girl who blushes at the sight of a few inches of bare skin in her own country, finds it quite natural to see naked negroes in the tropics. The artificial and systematic cultivation of an exaggerated sentiment of modesty produces _prudery_, the bad results of which are, however, less than those of pornography. There are young people so modest that the simple thought of sexual matters overexcites them terribly. By associating their own erotic feelings, of which they feel ashamed, with sexual ideas, they invest these with terrifying attributes, and become quite unhappy; in this way they are often led to masturbation. They are, however, excessively frightened at this also and imagine its effects so terrible that they think themselves lost. Their exaggerated feelings of modesty often prevent them confiding in some charitable person. However, they rarely find reasonable consolers; some ridicule them, while others regard them as iniquitous, which only increases their terror and drives them to extremes. The sexual sentiment of modesty very often becomes unhealthy, and is then easily combined with pathological sexual conditions. Prudery is, so to speak, sexual modesty codified and dogmatized. It is indeterminate, because the object of modesty is purely conventional, and man has no valid reason to regard any part of his body as shameful. Normal man ought only to be ashamed of bad thoughts and actions, contrary to his moral conscience. The latter should be based on natural human altruism only, and not artificially misled by dogma. =The Old Bachelor.=--The importance of the psychic irradiations of love is shown perhaps more clearly from the results of their presence in old bachelors than from any other consideration. In our time, no doubt, the state of the old bachelor rarely means the renunciation of the satisfaction of sexual appetite, although it generally entails the renunciation of love. There are, no doubt, two kinds of old bachelors, those who are chaste and those who are not. The old bachelor no doubt leads a less empty existence than the old maid, but the void exists none the less. Man also needs compensation for the absence of love and family, but his brain is more capable than that of woman of finding this compensation in hard intellectual work or in some other employment. The old bachelor is generally pessimistic and morose. He easily becomes the slave of his fads and hobbies, and the peculiarities of his character are proverbial. His egoism knows no bounds, and his altruistic impulses usually find too few objects or echoes. The chastity of some old bachelors conceals sexual anomalies. But even apart from this, the old celibate easily becomes shy, affected, misanthropic or misogynistic, at least if some energetic friend does not induce him to utilize his power of work in some useful sphere. At other times he lavishes exaggerated admiration on women and worships them in a pompous manner. In a separate category come those old bachelors who are chaste and celibate for high moral reasons, and whose life is spent in social work, although they are only men and cannot for this reason free themselves from all the peculiarities we have mentioned. In a word, the object of life is partly wanting in the best of old bachelors, and this void not only affects his sentiments but his whole mental being. His general tendency to pessimism and egoism would be sufficient alone to provoke an energetic protest against the abandonment of social power to celibates. The old bachelor who is not chaste generally descends to pornography, only becoming acquainted with the worst side of woman. He becomes a misogynist because he wrongly attributes to all women the character of those only with whom he has intimate relations. We have already pointed out this phenomenon in speaking of male eroticism. The philosopher, Schopenhauer, was an example of this kind. PSYCHIC IRRADIATIONS OF LOVE IN WOMEN In speaking of love in man we have already touched on many points which differentiate it from that of woman. In the latter, the most prominent peculiarity is the dominant role which it plays in the brain. Without love woman abjures her nature and ceases to be normal. =The Old Maid.=--What we have said of old bachelors applies in a still more marked degree, to old maids. Still more than men they have need of compensation for sexual love, to avoid losing their natural qualities and becoming dried-up beings or useless egoists. But, if the void left by love is greater in her, woman possesses such natural energy and perseverance, combined with such great power of devotion, that on the whole she is more capable than man of accomplishing the work which the void in her existence requires. Unfortunately, many women do not understand this. On the other hand, those who devote themselves to social philanthropic works, to art or literature, to nursing the sick or to other useful occupations, instead of amusing themselves with futile things, may greatly distinguish themselves in such social pursuits, and thus obtain real compensation for the loss of love. In this respect woman was formerly misunderstood. The modern movement of her emancipation shows more and more what she is capable of and promises much more in the future. As to the old maid who lives alone with her egoism, her whims and fancies generally exceed those of the old bachelor. She has not the faculty of creating anything original by her own intellect, so that, having lost love, all her mental power shrinks up. Her cat, her little dog, and the daily care of her person and small household occupy her whole mind. It is not surprising that such persons generally create a pitiable and ridiculous impression. Between these two extremes there exists a category of unmarried women whose sexual love finds compensation in the love they bear for a parent or a friend (male or female), which although not sexual is none the less ardent. Such occupation for their sentiments improves their state of mind and partially fills the void; however, it is not sufficient as a rule and only constitutes a last resource. This kind of devotion, by its exclusiveness, often produces bad results, for its horizon is too limited. If the object of love, which is generally too pampered, dies or abandons her, she loses her head; grief, bitterness and pessimism never leave her, unless she finds consolation in religious exaltation, which is often observed in other women deprived of love. This last peculiarity is met with, moreover, in all classes of women, even among the married. =Passiveness of Woman. Sexual Appetite.=--Ideal love should never be dual egoism. What happens when two persons live exclusively for each other, if one of them dies? The survivor sinks into inconsolable despair, all that his heart was attached to is dead, because his love did not extend to other human beings, nor to social works. Widows then become as pitiable as old maids, although in another way, when they have lost the object of their exclusive love. This is why we recommend social work, not only for celibates, but also for loving couples. I again emphasize the fact that in normal women, especially young girls, the sexual appetite is subordinate to love. In the young girl love is a mixture of exalted admiration for masculine courage and grandeur, and an ardent desire for affection and maternity. She wishes to be outwardly dominated by a man, but to dominate him by her heart. This sentimentalism of the young girl, joined to the passive role of her sex, produces in her a state of exaltation which often borders on ecstasy and then overcomes all the resistance of will and reason. The woman surrenders herself to the man of whom she is enamored, or who has conquered or hypnotized her. She is vanquished by his embraces and follows him submissively, and in such a state of mind she is capable of any folly. Although more violent and impetuous in his love, man loses his _sang-froid_ on the whole much less than woman. We can therefore say that the relative power of sentiment is on the average greater in woman, in spite of her passive role. I cannot protest too strongly against the way in which men of the day disparage women and misunderstand them. In the way in which a young girl abandons herself to their sexual appetites, in caresses, and in the ecstasy of her love, they think they see the proof of a purely sensual eroticism, identical to their libidinous desire for coitus, while in reality she usually does not think of it, at any rate at first. The first coitus is usually painful to woman, often repugnant. Many are the cases where young girls, even when they knew the terrible social and individual dangers of their weakness, even when they have perhaps once already experienced the consequences, let the man abuse them without a word of complaint, without a trace of sexual pleasure or venereal orgasm, simply to please the one who desires them, because he is so good and amiable, and because refusal would give him so much pain. In his violent passion and in his egoism, man is generally incapable of understanding the power of this stoicism of a mind which surrenders itself in spite of all dangers and all its interests. He confounds his own appetites with the sentiments of the woman, and finds in this false interpretation of feminine psychology the excuses for the cowardice of which he gives proof when he yields to his passions. The psychology of the young girl who surrenders herself has been admirably depicted by Goethe in _Gretchen_ ("Faust"), as well as by de Maupassant on several occasions. It is necessary to know all these facts in order to estimate at its true value the ignominy of our social institutions and their bearing on woman's life. If men did not so misunderstand women, and especially if they were aware of the deep injustice of our customs and laws with regard to them, the better ones, at least, would think twice before seducing young girls, to abandon them afterward with their children. I am only speaking now of true love and not of the extortion so often practiced by women of low character, or those already educated in vice. I shall say no more concerning eroticism, which really exists in many women, especially in those who are already experienced in sexual matters. On the other hand there are women who deceive their husbands and allow themselves to be seduced by any Don Juan, even when they have never had the least sexual appetite, or felt a single venereal orgasm. They allow themselves to be dragged in the mud and lose their reputation, their fortune and their family; they even let their seducer trample them under foot; they become defamed and treated as women without character, without honor and without any notion of duty. They are simply poor feeble creatures incapable of resisting masculine proposals. With good psychological training they would often become better women, active, devoted and full of life. It seems hardly credible, but it is true, that one sometimes finds in this category women who are highly gifted. It is then said that they are wanting in moral sense, but this is not always correct. In other respects they may be faithful to their duty, devoted, sometimes even energetic and heroic; but they submit to masculine influence to such a degree that they cannot conceive how to resist it. They find it quite natural to give way to it and their mind does not understand that the complete abandonment of their body to the man they love should not necessarily follow immediately after the abandonment of their heart, or even after the first kiss. It is impossible for them to make distinctions or to trace limits. =Idealism in Woman.=--The cases I have just described are extreme, although very common; they give the note of a general phenomenon of feminine love in its exaltation. It is needless to say that reasonable women of high character behave themselves in quite another manner, however profound their love. Nevertheless the trait which we have just described is nearly always found at the bottom of all true love in woman, however much it may be veiled, dissimulated or conquered. It is not always audacity or heroic deeds like those of the bold cavaliers of former days which excite love in woman. The external qualities of man, such as beauty and elegance, etc., also play a part, although their effect may be less decisive than that of the bodily charms of woman in exciting love in man. Intellectual superiority, high moral actions, and mental qualities in general, easily affect the heart of woman, which becomes exalted under their influence. But every man who becomes famous either for good or evil, the fashionable actor, the celebrated tenor, etc., has the power of exciting love in women. Women without education or those of inferior mental quality are naturally more easily affected by the bodily strength of man, and by his external appearance in general. Many women are especially liable to succumb under the influence of all that is mystic. These become infatuated by preachers, and religious enthusiasts, to say nothing of hypocrites. Nothing is sadder than the contrast between the exalted love of a virtuous and chaste young girl, and the debauched life, with its traits of cynical pornography, of the majority of young men. Guy de Maupassant has described this contrast in a most striking manner in his romance entitled "_Une Vie_." I know a number of cases in which the complete ignorance of young married women with regard to sexual relations, combined with the cynical lewdness of their husbands, has transformed the exalted love of a young girl into profound disgust, and has sometimes even caused mental disorders. Although not very common, the psychoses resulting from the deception and shock of the nuptial night are not very rare. But what is much worse than this douche of cold water which suddenly substitutes the reality of coitus for the ideal exaltation of sentiment, are the subsequent discoveries made by the young wife, when the cynical mind of her husband on the subject of sexual connection and love is unveiled to her in all its grossness, resulting from his previous life of debauchery. Torn and sullied in its deepest fibers, the feminine mind then becomes the seat of a desperate struggle between reality full of deceptions and the illusions of a dream of happiness. If it is only a question of bad habits, or want of tact in the husband, behind which there exists perhaps true love, the wounds in the woman's sentiment may heal and intimacy may develop; but when the cynicism is too marked, when the habits of sexual debauchery are too inveterate, the love of a virtuous woman is soon stifled, and is changed to resignation and disgust, often to martyrdom or hatred. In other cases the woman is weak and ill-developed and allows herself to sink to the level of her husband's sentiments. Sometimes, the crisis is accentuated and leads to divorce. In de Maupassant's "_Une Vie_," he describes with profound insight the continuous deceptions of a young innocent and sentimental girl who marries an egoistic roué, and whose life is transformed into martyrdom and completely ruined. De Maupassant's romances contain such true psychology of sexual life and love in all their forms, often even in their exceptional aberrations, that they furnish an admirable illustration to the present chapter. =Petticoat Government.=--A series of most important irradiations of love in woman results from the need she feels of being, if not dominated, at least protected by her husband. To be happy, a woman must be able to respect her husband and even regard him with more or less veneration; she must see in him the realization of an ideal, either of bodily strength, courage, unselfishness or superior intellect. If this is not the case, the husband easily falls under the petticoat government, or indifference and antipathy may develop in the wife, at least if misfortune or illness in the husband does not excite her pity and transform her into a resigned nurse. Petticoat government can hardly make a household truly happy, for here the positions are reversed and the wife rules because the husband is weak. But the normal instinct of woman is to rule over the heart of man, not over his intelligence or on his will. Ruling in these last domains may flatter a woman's vanity and render it dominating, but it never satisfies her heart, and this is why the woman who rules is so often unfaithful to her husband, if not in deed, at least in thought. In such a union she has not found the true love which she sought, and for this reason, if her moral principles are weak, she looks for compensation in some Don Juan. If the woman in question has a strong character, or if she is sexually cold, she may easily become sour and bitter. These women, who are not rare, are to be dreaded; their plighted love is transformed into hatred, bad temper or jealousy, and only finds satisfaction in the torment of others. The psychology of this kind of woman is interesting. They are not usually conscious of their malice. The chronic bitterness resulting from an unfortunate hereditary disposition in their character, as much as from their outraged feelings, makes them take a dislike to the world and renders them incapable of seeing anything but the worst side of people. They become accustomed to disparage everything automatically, to take offense at everything and to speak ill of everything on every occasion. They are unhappy, but they find a diabolical joy in all misfortune where they see the confirmation of their somber prophecies, the only satisfaction which is capable of exalting them. We have just said that a certain constitutional disposition is necessary for such a deplorable change in feminine sentiments to be produced; but this disposition is often only developed under the influence of circumstances which we have indicated or analogous ones. It is impossible for the life in common of two conjoints not to reveal their reciprocal failings. But true love generally suffices to definitely cement a union, provided that the wife finds a support in the steadfast nature of her husband, which then serves as her ideal. It is also necessary that the husband, finding sentiments of devoted love in his wife, should reciprocate them. These conditions are sufficient, if both devote their efforts to the maintenance of their family and the social welfare. =Maternal Love.=--The most profound and most natural irradiation of the sexual appetite in woman is _maternal love_. A mother who does not love her children is an unnatural being, and a man who does not understand the desires of maternity in his wife, and does not respect them, is not worthy of her love. Sometimes egoism renders a man jealous of the love which his wife bears to his children. At other times, the father may show more love for the children than their mother; such exceptions only prove the rule. The most beautiful and most natural of the irradiations of love is the joy of parents at the birth of their children, a joy which is one of the strongest bonds of conjugal affection, and which helps the couple in triumphing over the conflicting elements in their characters, and in raising the moral level of their reciprocal sentiments, for it realizes the natural object of sexual union. A true woman rejoices at the progress of her pregnancy. The last pains of childbirth have hardly ceased before she laughs with joy, and pride, at hearing the first cries of the newly born. The instinctive outburst of maternal love toward the new-born child corresponds to a natural imprescriptible right of the child, for it needs the continual care of its mother. Nothing is so beautiful in the world as the radiant joy of a young mother nursing her child, and no sign of degeneration is more painful than that of mothers who abandon their children without absolute necessity, to strange hands. On the other hand reason must intervene. The instructive transports of maternal love soon require a counterpoise. It is important to prevent them from degenerating into unreasonable spoiling, by scientific and medical education of the infants. Modern medical art has made great progress in this direction, but unfortunately, egoism, negligence, routine, the desire of enjoyment, or often the poverty of many mothers prevent them from benefiting from this progress and applying it as they should. Instead of looking after their children they leave them to nurses. The latter may be necessary to help and instruct young wives during their first childbirth; but a natural mother will profit by these instructions and will herself become an excellent nurse, because she will feel her natural ties and will consecrate herself to them with the devotion of a maternal love heightened and refined by reason and knowledge. Among the lower classes the poverty and ignorance of mothers, often also their thoughtlessness and indolence, are an obstacle to the rational education of infants. "=Monkey's Love.="--Maternal love thus constitutes the most important irradiation of the sexual instincts in woman. It very easily degenerates into weakness, that is to say into unreasonable passion and blind compliance with all the faults of the child, which the mother excuses and transforms into virtues. The foibles of maternal love do much harm to the child and are often the origin of bitter deceptions. Hereditary weakness of character here plays a great, or even the principal part. Nevertheless, maternal foibles have other causes--riches, absence of culture, idleness, too few children, etc. The best antidote for this unreasonable maternal love, which the Germans call "monkey's love" consists in active occupations for the mother, combined with a healthy education of her character. Work alone is not sufficient, if the mother has limited ideas, and if she is not freed from routine, ignorance, superstition and weakness of will. =Sentiments and Perseverance.=--The power of love in woman does not rest alone on the varied harmony of her sentiments of sympathy for her husband and children, and on the extraordinary finesse and natural tact which she adds to it; such qualities make her, no doubt, the ray of sunshine in the family life, but more powerful still are the tenacity and perseverance of her love. In general, it is by will-power that woman is superior to man, and it is in the domain of love that this superiority shines in all its glory. As a general rule it is the wife who sustains the family. Among the common people, it is she who economizes, she who watches carefully over all and corrects the failings, the passionate and impulsive acts, the discouragements, so frequent with the husband. How often do we see the father abandon the children, waste his earnings and leave his situation under some futile pretext, while his courageous wife, although suffering from hunger and destitution, holds firm and manages to save the debris which has escaped the excesses and egoism of the husband. The husband of a feeble or alcoholic wife sometimes becomes the sole support of the family, but such exceptions only prove the rule, that where the normal love and courage of woman are wanting, the family becomes broken up, for man very rarely possesses the necessary faculties for its preservation. It follows from these facts that the modern tendency of women to become pleasure-seekers, and to take a dislike to maternity, leads to complete degeneration of society. This is a grave social evil, which rapidly changes the qualities and power of expansion of a race, and which must be cured in time, or the race affected by it will be supplanted by others. If the feminine mind is generally wanting in intellectual imagination and power of combination, it is all the more powerful in the practical intuition of its judgment and in sentimental imagination. The finesse of its moral and æsthetic sentiments, its natural tact, its instructive desire to put some element of poetry into all the details of life, contribute to form true family happiness, a happiness which the husband and children too often enjoy without fully realizing the devoted labor, the love and the pains which the mother has given to create it. =Routine.=--The reverse of the irradiations of love in woman is constituted by her failings, which we have already partly indicated. We may add that her intelligence is usually superficial, that she attributes an exaggerated importance to trifles, that she often does not understand the object of ideal conceptions, and remains attached by routine to all her hobbies. This routine represents in feminine psychology the excess of a tenacious will applied only to the repetition of what has been taught. In the family, woman constitutes the conservative element because sentiment in her much more than in man, combined with persevering tenacity, predominates over intelligence; but sentiments represent everywhere and always the conservative element in the human mind. This is why woman is the strongest supporter of dogmas, customs, fashions, prejudices and mysticism. It is not that she herself is more disposed than man to mystic beliefs, but these when once dogmatized dazzle the eyes of the suffering with visions of compensation in a better world. In this way a number of unhappy or disappointed women are affected with religious exaltation and thus cling to the hope of happiness after death which they believe will compensate them for the vicissitudes of their existence. The other reverses of the feminine character, such as want of logic, obstinacy, love of trinkets, etc., result from the fundamental weakness of the feminine mind which we have just analyzed. Moreover, the social dependence in which man has placed woman, both from the legal and educational points of view, tend to increase her failings. Many people fear that women's suffrage would hinder progress, for the reasons we have just indicated, but they forget that the actual suffrage of men is to a great extent exercised by their wives, indirectly and unconsciously. This fact alone shows that the education, and legal emancipation of women can only be beneficial to progress, especially as they would contribute to the education of men, too prone to degenerate on account of their presumptuous and tyrannical autocracy. Woman has an instinctive admiration for men of high intellect and lofty sentiments, and strives to imitate those who provoke her admiration, and carry out their ideas. Let us therefore give women their proper rights, equal to ours, at the same time giving them a higher education and the same free instruction as ourselves; we shall then see them abandon the obscure paths of mysticism, to devote themselves to social progress. =Jealousy in Woman.=--Other irradiations of love in woman are similar to those of man. Jealousy is perhaps not much less developed in woman than in man. It is less brutal and violent but more instinctive and persevering; it manifests itself by quarrels, needle pricks, chicanery, petty tyrannies and all kinds of tricks which poison existence as much as man's jealousy, and are quite as inefficient against infidelity. In the highest degree of passion the jealous man uses violence or resorts to firearms, while the woman scratches, poisons or stabs. Among savages, jealous women bite off their rivals' noses; in civilized countries they throw sulphuric acid in the face. The object is the same in both cases--to disfigure. Amorous illusions produced in woman by the sexual appetite are analogous to those of man, but are modified by feminine attributes. It is the same with hypocrisy. The passive role of woman in sexual life obliges her only to betray her feelings to the object of her desires in a reserved and prudent manner. She cannot make advances toward man without contravening the conventions and risking her reputation. She therefore has to be more skillful in the art of dissimulation. This gives us no right to accuse her of falseness, for this art is natural, instinctive and imposed by custom. Her desire for love and maternity unconsciously urges her to make herself as desirable as possible to man by her grace and allurements. Her stolen glances and sighs, and the play of her expression serve to betray her ardor as through a veil. Behind this furtive play, especially calculated to excite the passions of man, are hidden, in the natural and good woman, a world of delicate feelings, ideal aspirations, energy and perseverance, which are much more loyal and honest than the motives revealed by the more brusque and daring manner in which man expresses his desires. The fine phrases by which man's love is expressed generally cover sentiments which are much less pure and calculations much more egoistic than the relatively innocent play of the young girl. No doubt there are false women whose amorous wiles are only a spider's web, but we are speaking here of the average, and not of exceptions. =Coquetry.=--The sexual braggardism of man is only found in some prostitutes; it is replaced in woman by coquetry and the desire to please. Vain women profit by the natural grace and beauty of their sex and person, not only to attract and please men, but also to shine among their fellows, to make other women pale before their brilliance and their elegance. Coquettes take infinite pains in this art. All their efforts and all their thoughts are directed only to increase their charm by the brilliancy of their toilette, the refinement of their attire, the arrangement of their hair, their perfumes, paint and powder, etc. It is here that the narrowness of the mind of woman is revealed in all its meanness. To describe feminine coquetry would oblige me to descend to banality. If we go to a ball or a fashionable _soirée_, if we observe women at the theater, their toilettes, their looks and expressions, or if we read a novel by Guy de Maupassant, "Fort Comme la Mort," or "Nôtre Coeur," for example, we can study all the degrees and all the degeneration of this part of the sexual psychology of women. Many of them have such bad taste that they transform themselves into caricatures; dye their hair, paint their eyebrows and lips to give themselves the appearance of what they are not, or to make themselves appear young and beautiful. These artifices of civilized countries resemble the tattooing, nose-rings, etc., with which savage women adorn themselves. The latter are represented by earrings, bracelets and necklaces. All these customs constitute irradiations of the sexual appetite or the desire to please men. Male sexual inverts (vide Chap. VIII) also practice them, and often also certain dandies with otherwise normal sexual instincts. =The Pornographic Spirit in Woman.=--This is absolutely contrary to the normal feminine nature, which cannot be said of eroticism. Among prostitutes, as we have seen, the pornographic spirit is only the echo of their male companions, and in spite of this, we still find a vestige of modesty even in them. No doubt, in very erotic women, sexual excitations may lead to indecent acts and expressions, but these are rare exceptions and of a pathological nature. Natural feminine eroticism, not artificially perverted, only shows itself openly in complete intimacy, and even here modesty and the æsthetic sense of woman correct and attenuate it. Normally, all obscenity and cynicism disgusts women and only inspires them with contempt for the male sex. On the other hand, they are easily stimulated to eroticism by pictures or novels, if they are sufficiently æsthetic, or even moral. This is a great danger for both sexes, especially for woman--eroticism dissimulated under hypocritical forms, and intended to idealize dishonest intentions (vide de Maupassant: "_Ce Cochon de Morin_"). =Modesty and Prudery in Woman.=--In woman the sentiments of modesty and prudery have a peculiar character, which results from her natural disgust for pornography on the one hand, and also from her attachment to fashion and prejudice. Many women have a perfect terror of exposing certain parts of their body, even to a medical man. This fact depends on convention, and sometimes on the absence or perversion of sexual feelings. Brought up to prudery, sometimes to an absurd extent as in England, these women lose their natural feeling and often suffer from the excitation, indignation, and perpetual fright, which result from it. The exaggerations of prudery, moreover, easily lead to opposite excesses, or else degenerate into hypocrisy. The prude is ashamed of the most natural things, and undergoes continual torment. Prudery can be created or cured by education in childhood. It may be created by isolation, by covering all parts of the body, and especially by making children regard nudity as shameful. On the other hand, it may be cured by mixed bathing, by accustoming the child to consider the human body, in all its parts and functions, as something natural of which one need not be ashamed, lastly by giving instruction on the relations of the sexes, in due time and in a serious manner, instead of replying to ingenuous questions by pious falsehoods, by equivocation, or by an air of mystery. The chapter on love is infinite, and its relations to the sexual appetite make it still more complex. We shall confine ourselves to indicating two more of its irradiations, peculiar to each sex, but having for each a physionomy corresponding to its own mentality. FETICHISM AND ANTI-FETICHISM "We understand by fetiches, objects, portions of objects, or even simply the qualities of objects which, from their association with a certain person or with the idea of this person, produce a kind of charm or at least a profound impression, which in no way corresponds to the nature of the object itself."--(Krafft-Ebing.) The fetich thus symbolizes a person in whom we have such a profound interest that everything connected with her disturbs our feelings. It is we ourselves who place in the fetich the charm arising from the person whom it symbolizes for us. In many religions fetichism plays an important part, so much so that fetiches such as amulets or relics produce ecstasy in the faithful. Binet, Krafft-Ebing and others give the name _erotic fetichism_ to the charm which certain objects or certain parts of the body exercise in a similar way on the sexual desires or even on love, in the sense that their simple representation is powerfully associated with the erotic image of a person of the other sex, or with a particular variety of sexual excitation. In both man and woman certain portions of the clothes or the body, the hair, the foot and hand, or certain odors of the person desired, may take the character of fetiches. It is the same with certain intellectual peculiarities and certain expressions of the features. In man, the woman's hair, her hands or feet, her handkerchief, perfumes, etc., often play the part of erotic fetiches. We may call _anti-fetiches_ certain objects or certain qualities which, on the contrary, destroy eroticism. Certain odors, the tone of a voice, an ugly nose, a garment in bad taste, an awkward manner, often suffice to destroy eroticism by causing disgust for a person, and their simple representation is enough to make her unbearable. Symbolizing disgust, the anti-fetich paralyzes the sexual appetite and love. In normal love, it is especially by association of ideas in calling to mind the image of the person loved that the fetich plays the part of an exciting agent. It often, however, becomes itself the more special object of the sexual appetite, while the anti-fetich produces the opposite effect. But, in degenerates (vide Chap. VIII) it is sometimes exclusively to the fetich itself that an irresistible sexual appetite is addressed, the irradiation of which becomes a ridiculous caricature of love. We thus see that normal love is based on an extremely complex synthesis, on a symphony of harmonious sensations, sentiments and conceptions, combined in all kinds of tones and shades. The pathological aberrations of which we shall speak, demonstrate this by forcing one tone or another to the more or less marked exclusion of the rest. PSYCHOLOGICAL RELATIONS OF LOVE TO RELIGION Love and eroticism play a great part in religion, and many derivatives of religious sentiment are intimately associated with the sexual appetite. As Krafft-Ebing says, _religious ecstasy_ is closely related to _amorous ecstasy_, and very often appears in the guise of consolation and compensation for an unhappy or disappointed love, or even in the absence of sexual love. In the insane, religion and eroticism are combined in a very characteristic manner. Among a number of peoples certain cruel religious customs are the result of transformed erotic conceptions. As in religion, there is something mystical in love; the ineffable dream of eternal ecstasy. This is why the two kinds of mystic and erotic exaltation become blended in religions. Krafft-Ebing attributes the cruelty found in many religions to _sadism_ (sexual lust excited by the sufferings of others). (Vide Chap. VIII.) "The relationship so often established between religion, lust and cruelty can be reduced almost to the following formula: at the acme of their development, the religious and sexual passions show a concordance in quality and in quantity of excitation, and may consequently replace each other, under certain circumstances. Under special pathological influences, both may be transformed into cruelty."--(Krafft-Ebing.) We shall return to this subject in Chapters VIII and XII. FOOTNOTES: [3] This tendency of man has been analyzed with a very refined psychology by _Labiche_, in one of his most celebrated comedies: "_Le voyage de M. Perichon._"