The Expedition of Humphry Clinker by T. Smollett
Part 19
2073 words | Chapter 19
respect to
the family, let him have a couple of guineas in the name of
Yours always, MATT. BRAMBLE LONDON, May 20.
To Miss LAETITIA WILLIS, at Gloucester.
MY DEAR LETTY,
Inexpressible was the pleasure I received from yours of the 25th, which
was last night put into my hands by Mrs Brentford, the milliner, from
Gloucester--I rejoice to hear that my worthy governess is in good
health, and, still more, that she no longer retains any displeasure
towards her poor Liddy. I am sorry you have lost the society of the
agreeable Miss Vaughn; but, I hope you won’t have cause much longer to
regret the departure of your school companions, as I make no doubt but
your parents will, in a little time, bring you into the world, where you
are so well qualified to make a distinguished figure. When that is
the case, I flatter myself you and I shall meet again, and be happy
together; and even improve the friendship which we contracted in our
tender years. This at least I can promise--It shall not be for the want
of my utmost endeavours, if our intimacy does not continue for life.
About five days ago we arrived in London, after an easy journey from
Bath; during which, however, we were overturned, and met with some other
little incidents, which, had like to have occasioned a misunderstanding
betwixt my uncle and aunt; but now, thank God, they are happily
reconciled: we live in harmony together, and every day make parties
to see the wonders of this vast metropolis, which, however, I cannot
pretend to describe; for I have not as yet seen one hundredth part of
its curiosities, and I am quite in a maze of admiration.
The cities of London and Westminster are spread out into an incredible
extent. The streets, squares, rows, lanes, and alleys, are innumerable.
Palaces, public buildings, and churches rise in every quarter;
and, among these last, St Paul’s appears with the most astonishing
pre-eminence. They say it is not so large as, St Peter’s at Rome; but,
for my own part, I can have no idea of any earthly temple more grand and
magnificent.
But even these superb objects are not so striking as the crowds of
people that swarm in the streets. I at first imagined that some
great assembly was just dismissed, and wanted to stand aside till the
multitude should pass; but this human tide continues to flow, without
interruption or abatement, from morn till night. Then there is such
an infinity of gay equipages, coaches, chariots, chaises, and other
carriages, continually rolling and shifting before your eyes, that
one’s head grows giddy looking at them; and the imagination is quite
confounded with splendour and variety. Nor is the prospect by water
less grand and astonishing than that by land: you see three stupendous
bridges, joining the opposite banks of a broad, deep, and rapid river;
so vast, so stately, so elegant, that they seem to be the work of the
giants; betwixt them, the whole surface of the Thames is covered with
small vessels, barges, boats, and wherries, passing to and fro; and
below the three bridges, such a prodigious forest of masts, for miles
together, that you would think all the ships in the universe were here
assembled. All that you read of wealth and grandeur in the Arabian
Nights’ Entertainment, and the Persian Tales, concerning Bagdad,
Diarbekir, Damascus, Ispahan, and Samarkand, is here realized.
Ranelagh looks like the inchanted palace of a genie, adorned with
the most exquisite performances of painting, carving, and gilding,
enlightened with a thousand golden lamps, that emulate the noon-day
sun; crowded with the great, the rich, the gay, the happy, and the fair;
glittering with cloth of gold and silver, lace, embroidery, and precious
stones. While these exulting sons and daughters of felicity tread this
round of pleasure, or regale in different parties, and separate lodges,
with fine imperial tea and other delicious refreshments, their ears are
entertained with the most ravishing delights of music, both instrumental
and vocal. There I heard the famous Tenducci, a thing from Italy--It
looks for all the world like a man, though they say it is not. The
voice, to be sure, is neither man’s nor woman’s; but it is more
melodious than either; and it warbled so divinely, that, while I
listened, I really thought myself in paradise.
At nine o’clock, in a charming moonlight evening, we embarked at
Ranelagh for Vauxhall, in a wherry so light and slender that we looked
like so many fairies sailing in a nutshell. My uncle, being apprehensive
of catching cold upon the water, went round in the coach, and my aunt
would have accompanied him, but he would not suffer me to go by water if
she went by land; and therefore she favoured us with her company, as she
perceived I had a curiosity to make this agreeable voyage--After all,
the vessel was sufficiently loaded; for, besides the waterman, there
was my brother Jery, and a friend of his, one Mr Barton, a country
gentleman, of a good fortune, who had dined at our house--The pleasure
of this little excursion was, however, damped, by my being sadly
frighted at our landing; where there was a terrible confusion of
wherries and a crowd of people bawling, and swearing, and quarrelling,
nay, a parcel of ugly-looking fellows came running into the water, and
laid hold of our boat with great violence, to pull it a-shore; nor would
they quit their hold till my brother struck one of them over the head
with his cane. But this flutter was fully recompensed by the pleasures
of Vauxhall; which I no sooner entered, than I was dazzled and
confounded with the variety of beauties that rushed all at once upon my
eye. Image to yourself, my dear Letty, a spacious garden, part laid out
in delightful walks, bounded with high hedges and trees, and paved with
gravel; part exhibiting a wonderful assemblage of the most picturesque
and striking objects’ pavilions, lodges, groves, grottoes, lawns,
temples and cascades; porticoes, colonades, and rotundos; adorned with
pillars, statues, and painting: the whole illuminated with an infinite
number of lamps, disposed in different figures of suns, stars, and
constellations; the place crowded with the gayest company, ranging
through those blissful shades, or supping in different lodges on cold
collations, enlivened with mirth, freedom, and good humour, and animated
by an excellent band of music. Among the vocal performers I had the
happiness to hear the celebrated Mrs--, whose voice was loud and shrill,
that it made my head ake through excess of pleasure.
In about half an hour after we arrived we were joined by my uncle, who
did not seem to relish the place. People of experience and infirmity, my
dear Letty, see with very different eyes from those that such as you and
I make use of--Our evening’s entertainment was interrupted by an unlucky
accident. In one of the remotest walks we were surprised with a sudden
shower, that set the whole company a-running, and drove us in heaps,
one upon another, into the rotunda; where my uncle, finding himself wet,
began to be very peevish and urgent to be gone. My brother went to look
for the coach, and found it with much difficulty; but as it could
not hold us all, Mr Barton stayed behind. It was some time before
the carriage could be brought up to the gate, in the confusion,
notwithstanding the utmost endeavours of our new footman, Humphry
Clinker, who lost his scratch periwig, and got a broken head in the
scuffle. The moment we were seated, my aunt pulled off my uncle’s shoes,
and carefully wrapped his poor feet in her capuchin; then she gave him
a mouth-ful of cordial, which she always keeps in her pocket, and his
clothes were shifted as soon as we arrived at lodgings; so that, blessed
be God, he escaped a severe cold, of which he was in great terror.
As for Mr Barton, I must tell you in confidence, he was a little
particular; but, perhaps, I mistake his complaisance; and I wish I may,
for his sake--You know the condition of my poor heart: which, in spite
of hard usage--And yet I ought not to complain: nor will I, till farther
information.
Besides Ranelagh and Vauxhall, I have been at Mrs Cornelys’ assembly,
which, for the rooms, the company, the dresses, and decorations,
surpasses all description; but as I have no great turn for card playing,
I have not yet entered thoroughly into the spirit of the place: indeed I
am still such a country hoyden, that I could hardly find patience to be
put in a condition to appear, yet, as I was not above six hours under
the hands of the hair-dresser, who stuffed my head with as much black
wool as would have made a quilted petticoat; and, after all, it was the
smallest head in the assembly, except my aunt’s--She, to be sure, was
so particular with her rumpt gown and petticoat, her scanty curls, her
lappethead, deep triple ruffles, and high stays, that every body looked
at her with surprise: some whispered, and some tittered; and lady
Griskin, by whom we were introduced, flatly told her, she was twenty
good years behind the fashion.
Lady Griskin is a person of fashion, to whom we have the honour to be
related. She keeps a small rout at her own house, never exceeding ten
or a dozen card-tables, but these are frequented by the best company in
town--She has been so obliging as to introduce my aunt and me to some of
her particular friends of quality, who treat us with the most familiar
good-humour: we have once dined with her, and she takes the trouble
to direct us in all our motions. I am so happy as to have gained her
goodwill to such a degree, that she sometimes adjusts my cap with her
own hands; and she has given me a kind invitation to stay with her all
the winter. This, however, has been cruelly declined by my uncle who
seems to be (I know not how) prejudiced against the good lady; for,
whenever my aunt happens to speak in her commendation, I observe that he
makes wry faces, though he says nothing--Perhaps, indeed, these grimaces
may be the effect of pain arising from the gout and rheumatism, with
which he is sadly distressed--To me, however, he is always good-natured
and generous, even beyond my wish. Since we came hither, he has made
me a present of a suit of clothes, with trimmings and laces, which cost
more money than I shall mention; and Jery, at his desire, has given me
my mother’s diamond crops, which are ordered to be set a-new; so that it
won’t be his fault if I do not glitter among the stars of the fourth or
fifth magnitude. I wish my weak head may not grow giddy in the midst
of all this gallantry and dissipation; though, as yet, I can safely
declare, I could gladly give up all these tumultuous pleasures, for
country solitude, and a happy retreat with those we love; among whom, my
dear Willis will always possess the first place in the breast of her
Ever affectionate, LYDIA MELFORD LONDON, May 31.
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, of Jesus college, Oxon.
DEAR PHILLIPS,
I send you this letter, franked by our old friend Barton; who is as much
altered as it was possible for a man of his kidney to be. Instead of
the careless, indolent sloven we knew at Oxford, I found him a busy
talkative politician; a petit-maitre in his dress, and a ceremonious
courtier in his manners. He has not gall enough in his constitution
to be enflamed with the rancour of party, so as to deal in scurrilous
invectives; but, since he obtained a place, he is become a warm partizan
of the ministry, and sees every thing through such an exaggerating
medium, as to me, who am happily of no party, is altogether
incomprehensible--Without all doubt, the fumes of faction not only
disturb the faculty of reason, but also pervert the organs of sense; and
I would lay a hundred guineas to ten, that if Barton on one side, and
the most conscientious patriot in the opposition on the other, were to
dr
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