The Confessions of St. Augustine by Saint of Hippo Augustine
BOOK XI
9501 words | Chapter 12
Lord, since eternity is Thine, art Thou ignorant of what I say to Thee?
or dost Thou see in time, what passeth in time? Why then do I lay in
order before Thee so many relations? Not, of a truth, that Thou mightest
learn them through me, but to stir up mine own and my readers' devotions
towards Thee, that we may all say, Great is the Lord, and greatly to be
praised. I have said already; and again will say, for love of Thy
love do I this. For we pray also, and yet Truth hath said, Your Father
knoweth what you have need of, before you ask. It is then our affections
which we lay open unto Thee, confessing our own miseries, and Thy
mercies upon us, that Thou mayest free us wholly, since Thou hast begun,
that we may cease to be wretched in ourselves, and be blessed in Thee;
seeing Thou hast called us, to become poor in spirit, and meek, and
mourners, and hungering and athirst after righteousness, and merciful,
and pure in heart, and peace-makers. See, I have told Thee many things,
as I could and as I would, because Thou first wouldest that I should
confess unto Thee, my Lord God. For Thou art good, for Thy mercy
endureth for ever.
But how shall I suffice with the tongue of my pen to utter all Thy
exhortations, and all Thy terrors, and comforts, and guidances, whereby
Thou broughtest me to preach Thy Word, and dispense Thy Sacrament to Thy
people? And if I suffice to utter them in order, the drops of time are
precious with me; and long have I burned to meditate in Thy law, and
therein to confess to Thee my skill and unskilfulness, the day-break of
Thy enlightening, and the remnants of my darkness, until infirmity be
swallowed up by strength. And I would not have aught besides steal away
those hours which I find free from the necessities of refreshing my body
and the powers of my mind, and of the service which we owe to men, or
which though we owe not, we yet pay.
O Lord my God, give ear unto my prayer, and let Thy mercy hearken unto
my desire: because it is anxious not for myself alone, but would serve
brotherly charity; and Thou seest my heart, that so it is. I would
sacrifice to Thee the service of my thought and tongue; do Thou give me,
what I may offer Thee. For I am poor and needy, Thou rich to all that
call upon Thee; Who, inaccessible to care, carest for us. Circumcise
from all rashness and all lying both my inward and outward lips: let
Thy Scriptures be my pure delights: let me not be deceived in them, nor
deceive out of them. Lord, hearken and pity, O Lord my God, Light of the
blind, and Strength of the weak; yea also Light of those that see, and
Strength of the strong; hearken unto my soul, and hear it crying out of
the depths. For if Thine ears be not with us in the depths also, whither
shall we go? whither cry? The day is Thine, and the night is Thine; at
Thy beck the moments flee by. Grant thereof a space for our meditations
in the hidden things of Thy law, and close it not against us who knock.
For not in vain wouldest Thou have the darksome secrets of so many pages
written; nor are those forests without their harts which retire therein
and range and walk; feed, lie down, and ruminate. Perfect me, O
Lord, and reveal them unto me. Behold, Thy voice is my joy; Thy voice
exceedeth the abundance of pleasures. Give what I love: for I do love;
and this hast Thou given: forsake not Thy own gifts, nor despise Thy
green herb that thirsteth. Let me confess unto Thee whatsoever I shall
find in Thy books, and hear the voice of praise, and drink in Thee,
and meditate on the wonderful things out of Thy law; even from the
beginning, wherein Thou madest the heaven and the earth, unto the
everlasting reigning of Thy holy city with Thee.
Lord, have mercy on me, and hear my desire. For it is not, I deem, of
the earth, not of gold and silver, and precious stones, or gorgeous
apparel, or honours and offices, or the pleasures of the flesh, or
necessaries for the body and for this life of our pilgrimage: all which
shall be added unto those that seek Thy kingdom and Thy righteousness.
Behold, O Lord my God, wherein is my desire. The wicked have told me of
delights, but not such as Thy law, O Lord. Behold, wherein is my desire.
Behold, Father, behold, and see and approve; and be it pleasing in the
sight of Thy mercy, that I may find grace before Thee, that the inward
parts of Thy words be opened to me knocking. I beseech by our Lord Jesus
Christ Thy Son, the Man of Thy right hand, the Son of man, whom Thou
hast established for Thyself, as Thy Mediator and ours, through Whom
Thou soughtest us, not seeking Thee, but soughtest us, that we might
seek Thee,--Thy Word, through Whom Thou madest all things, and among
them, me also;--Thy Only-Begotten, through Whom Thou calledst to
adoption the believing people, and therein me also;--I beseech Thee by
Him, who sitteth at Thy right hand, and intercedeth with Thee for us,
in Whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. These do
I seek in Thy books. Of Him did Moses write; this saith Himself; this
saith the Truth.
I would hear and understand, how "In the Beginning Thou madest the
heaven and earth." Moses wrote this, wrote and departed, passed hence
from Thee to Thee; nor is he now before me. For if he were, I would hold
him and ask him, and beseech him by Thee to open these things unto me,
and would lay the ears of my body to the sounds bursting out of his
mouth. And should he speak Hebrew, in vain will it strike on my senses,
nor would aught of it touch my mind; but if Latin, I should know what
he said. But whence should I know, whether he spake truth? Yea, and if
I knew this also, should I know it from him? Truly within me, within, in
the chamber of my thoughts, Truth, neither Hebrew, nor Greek, nor Latin,
nor barbarian, without organs of voice or tongue, or sound of syllables,
would say, "It is truth," and I forthwith should say confidently to that
man of Thine, "thou sayest truly." Whereas then I cannot enquire of him,
Thee, Thee I beseech, O Truth, full of Whom he spake truth, Thee, my
God, I beseech, forgive my sins; and Thou, who gavest him Thy servant to
speak these things, give to me also to understand them.
Behold, the heavens and the earth are; they proclaim that they were
created; for they change and vary. Whereas whatsoever hath not been
made, and yet is, hath nothing in it, which before it had not; and
this it is, to change and vary. They proclaim also, that they made not
themselves; "therefore we are, because we have been made; we were not
therefore, before we were, so as to make ourselves." Now the evidence
of the thing, is the voice of the speakers. Thou therefore, Lord, madest
them; who art beautiful, for they are beautiful; who art good, for they
are good; who art, for they are; yet are they not beautiful nor good,
nor are they, as Thou their Creator art; compared with Whom, they are
neither beautiful, nor good, nor are. This we know, thanks be to Thee.
And our knowledge, compared with Thy knowledge, is ignorance.
But how didst Thou make the heaven and the earth? and what the engine of
Thy so mighty fabric? For it was not as a human artificer, forming one
body from another, according to the discretion of his mind, which can
in some way invest with such a form, as it seeth in itself by its inward
eye. And whence should he be able to do this, unless Thou hadst made
that mind? and he invests with a form what already existeth, and hath
a being, as clay, or stone, or wood, or gold, or the like. And whence
should they be, hadst not Thou appointed them? Thou madest the artificer
his body, Thou the mind commanding the limbs, Thou the matter whereof he
makes any thing; Thou the apprehension whereby to take in his art, and
see within what he doth without; Thou the sense of his body, whereby,
as by an interpreter, he may from mind to matter, convey that which he
doth, and report to his mind what is done; that it within may consult
the truth, which presideth over itself, whether it be well done or no.
All these praise Thee, the Creator of all. But how dost Thou make them?
how, O God, didst Thou make heaven and earth? Verily, neither in the
heaven, nor in the earth, didst Thou make heaven and earth; nor in the
air, or waters, seeing these also belong to the heaven and the earth;
nor in the whole world didst Thou make the whole world; because there
was no place where to make it, before it was made, that it might be. Nor
didst Thou hold any thing in Thy hand, whereof to make heaven and earth.
For whence shouldest Thou have this, which Thou hadst not made, thereof
to make any thing? For what is, but because Thou art? Therefore Thou
spokest, and they were made, and in Thy Word Thou madest them.
But how didst Thou speak? In the way that the voice came out of the
cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son? For that voice passed by and
passed away, began and ended; the syllables sounded and passed away,
the second after the first, the third after the second, and so forth in
order, until the last after the rest, and silence after the last. Whence
it is abundantly clear and plain that the motion of a creature expressed
it, itself temporal, serving Thy eternal will. And these Thy words,
created for a time, the outward ear reported to the intelligent soul,
whose inward ear lay listening to Thy Eternal Word. But she compared
these words sounding in time, with that Thy Eternal Word in silence, and
said "It is different, far different. These words are far beneath me,
nor are they, because they flee and pass away; but the Word of my Lord
abideth above me for ever." If then in sounding and passing words Thou
saidst that heaven and earth should be made, and so madest heaven and
earth, there was a corporeal creature before heaven and earth, by whose
motions in time that voice might take his course in time. But there was
nought corporeal before heaven and earth; or if there were, surely Thou
hadst, without such a passing voice, created that, whereof to make this
passing voice, by which to say, Let the heaven and the earth be made.
For whatsoever that were, whereof such a voice were made, unless by
Thee it were made, it could not be at all. By what Word then didst Thou
speak, that a body might be made, whereby these words again might be
made?
Thou callest us then to understand the Word, God, with Thee God, Which
is spoken eternally, and by It are all things spoken eternally. For what
was spoken was not spoken successively, one thing concluded that the
next might be spoken, but all things together and eternally. Else have
we time and change; and not a true eternity nor true immortality. This I
know, O my God, and give thanks. I know, I confess to Thee, O Lord, and
with me there knows and blesses Thee, whoso is not unthankful to assure
Truth. We know, Lord, we know; since inasmuch as anything is not which
was, and is, which was not, so far forth it dieth and ariseth. Nothing
then of Thy Word doth give place or replace, because It is truly
immortal and eternal. And therefore unto the Word coeternal with Thee
Thou dost at once and eternally say all that Thou dost say; and whatever
Thou sayest shall be made is made; nor dost Thou make, otherwise than by
saying; and yet are not all things made together, or everlasting, which
Thou makest by saying.
Why, I beseech Thee, O Lord my God? I see it in a way; but how to
express it, I know not, unless it be, that whatsoever begins to be, and
leaves off to be, begins then, and leaves off then, when in Thy eternal
Reason it is known, that it ought to begin or leave off; in which Reason
nothing beginneth or leaveth off. This is Thy Word, which is also "the
Beginning, because also It speaketh unto us." Thus in the Gospel He
speaketh through the flesh; and this sounded outwardly in the ears of
men; that it might be believed and sought inwardly, and found in
the eternal Verity; where the good and only Master teacheth all His
disciples. There, Lord, hear I Thy voice speaking unto me; because He
speaketh us, who teacheth us; but He that teacheth us not, though
He speaketh, to us He speaketh not. Who now teacheth us, but the
unchangeable Truth? for even when we are admonished through a changeable
creature; we are but led to the unchangeable Truth; where we learn
truly, while we stand and hear Him, and rejoice greatly because of the
Bridegroom's voice, restoring us to Him, from Whom we are. And therefore
the Beginning, because unless It abided, there should not, when we
went astray, be whither to return. But when we return from error, it is
through knowing; and that we may know, He teacheth us, because He is the
Beginning, and speaking unto us.
In this Beginning, O God, hast Thou made heaven and earth, in Thy
Word, in Thy Son, in Thy Power, in Thy Wisdom, in Thy Truth; wondrously
speaking, and wondrously making. Who shall comprehend? Who declare
it? What is that which gleams through me, and strikes my heart without
hurting it; and I shudder and kindle? I shudder, inasmuch as I am unlike
it; I kindle, inasmuch as I am like it. It is Wisdom, Wisdom's self
which gleameth through me; severing my cloudiness which yet again
mantles over me, fainting from it, through the darkness which for my
punishment gathers upon me. For my strength is brought down in need,
so that I cannot support my blessings, till Thou, Lord, Who hast been
gracious to all mine iniquities, shalt heal all my infirmities. For
Thou shalt also redeem my life from corruption, and crown me with loving
kindness and tender mercies, and shalt satisfy my desire with good
things, because my youth shall be renewed like an eagle's. For in hope
we are saved, wherefore we through patience wait for Thy promises. Let
him that is able, hear Thee inwardly discoursing out of Thy oracle: I
will boldly cry out, How wonderful are Thy works, O Lord, in Wisdom
hast Thou made them all; and this Wisdom is the Beginning, and in that
Beginning didst Thou make heaven and earth.
Lo, are they not full of their old leaven, who say to us, "What was
God doing before He made heaven and earth? For if (say they) He were
unemployed and wrought not, why does He not also henceforth, and for
ever, as He did heretofore? For did any new motion arise in God, and a
new will to make a creature, which He had never before made, how then
would that be a true eternity, where there ariseth a will, which was
not? For the will of God is not a creature, but before the creature;
seeing nothing could be created, unless the will of the Creator had
preceded. The will of God then belongeth to His very Substance. And
if aught have arisen in God's Substance, which before was not, that
Substance cannot be truly called eternal. But if the will of God has
been from eternity that the creature should be, why was not the creature
also from eternity?"
Who speak thus, do not yet understand Thee, O Wisdom of God, Light of
souls, understand not yet how the things be made, which by Thee, and
in Thee are made: yet they strive to comprehend things eternal, whilst
their heart fluttereth between the motions of things past and to come,
and is still unstable. Who shall hold it, and fix it, that it be settled
awhile, and awhile catch the glory of that ever-fixed Eternity, and
compare it with the times which are never fixed, and see that it cannot
be compared; and that a long time cannot become long, but out of many
motions passing by, which cannot be prolonged altogether; but that in
the Eternal nothing passeth, but the whole is present; whereas no time
is all at once present: and that all time past, is driven on by time to
come, and all to come followeth upon the past; and all past and to come,
is created, and flows out of that which is ever present? Who shall hold
the heart of man, that it may stand still, and see how eternity ever
still-standing, neither past nor to come, uttereth the times past and to
come? Can my hand do this, or the hand of my mouth by speech bring about
a thing so great?
See, I answer him that asketh, "What did God before He made heaven and
earth?" I answer not as one is said to have done merrily (eluding the
pressure of the question), "He was preparing hell (saith he) for pryers
into mysteries." It is one thing to answer enquiries, another to make
sport of enquirers. So I answer not; for rather had I answer, "I know
not," what I know not, than so as to raise a laugh at him who asketh
deep things and gain praise for one who answereth false things. But I
say that Thou, our God, art the Creator of every creature: and if by
the name "heaven and earth," every creature be understood; I boldly say,
"that before God made heaven and earth, He did not make any thing." For
if He made, what did He make but a creature? And would I knew whatsoever
I desire to know to my profit, as I know, that no creature was made,
before there was made any creature.
But if any excursive brain rove over the images of forepassed times, and
wonder that Thou the God Almighty and All-creating and All-supporting,
Maker of heaven and earth, didst for innumerable ages forbear from so
great a work, before Thou wouldest make it; let him awake and consider,
that he wonders at false conceits. For whence could innumerable ages
pass by, which Thou madest not, Thou the Author and Creator of all
ages? or what times should there be, which were not made by Thee? or
how should they pass by, if they never were? Seeing then Thou art the
Creator of all times, if any time was before Thou madest heaven and
earth, why say they that Thou didst forego working? For that very time
didst Thou make, nor could times pass by, before Thou madest those
times. But if before heaven and earth there was no time, why is it
demanded, what Thou then didst? For there was no "then," when there was
no time.
Nor dost Thou by time, precede time: else shouldest Thou not precede
all times. But Thou precedest all things past, by the sublimity of
an ever-present eternity; and surpassest all future because they are
future, and when they come, they shall be past; but Thou art the Same,
and Thy years fail not. Thy years neither come nor go; whereas ours both
come and go, that they all may come. Thy years stand together, because
they do stand; nor are departing thrust out by coming years, for they
pass not away; but ours shall all be, when they shall no more be. Thy
years are one day; and Thy day is not daily, but To-day, seeing Thy
To-day gives not place unto tomorrow, for neither doth it replace
yesterday. Thy To-day, is Eternity; therefore didst Thou beget The
Coeternal, to whom Thou saidst, This day have I begotten Thee. Thou hast
made all things; and before all times Thou art: neither in any time was
time not.
At no time then hadst Thou not made any thing, because time itself Thou
madest. And no times are coeternal with Thee, because Thou abidest;
but if they abode, they should not be times. For what is time? Who can
readily and briefly explain this? Who can even in thought comprehend it,
so as to utter a word about it? But what in discourse do we mention more
familiarly and knowingly, than time? And, we understand, when we speak
of it; we understand also, when we hear it spoken of by another. What
then is time? If no one asks me, I know: if I wish to explain it to one
that asketh, I know not: yet I say boldly that I know, that if nothing
passed away, time past were not; and if nothing were coming, a time to
come were not; and if nothing were, time present were not. Those two
times then, past and to come, how are they, seeing the past now is
not, and that to come is not yet? But the present, should it always be
present, and never pass into time past, verily it should not be time,
but eternity. If time present (if it is to be time) only cometh into
existence, because it passeth into time past, how can we say that either
this is, whose cause of being is, that it shall not be; so, namely, that
we cannot truly say that time is, but because it is tending not to be?
And yet we say, "a long time" and "a short time"; still, only of time
past or to come. A long time past (for example) we call an hundred years
since; and a long time to come, an hundred years hence. But a short
time past, we call (suppose) often days since; and a short time to come,
often days hence. But in what sense is that long or short, which is not?
For the past, is not now; and the future, is not yet. Let us not then
say, "it is long"; but of the past, "it hath been long"; and of the
future, "it will be long." O my Lord, my Light, shall not here also Thy
Truth mock at man? For that past time which was long, was it long when
it was now past, or when it was yet present? For then might it be long,
when there was, what could be long; but when past, it was no longer;
wherefore neither could that be long, which was not at all. Let us not
then say, "time past hath been long": for we shall not find, what hath
been long, seeing that since it was past, it is no more, but let us say,
"that present time was long"; because, when it was present, it was long.
For it had not yet passed away, so as not to be; and therefore there
was, what could be long; but after it was past, that ceased also to be
long, which ceased to be.
Let us see then, thou soul of man, whether present time can be long:
for to thee it is given to feel and to measure length of time. What wilt
thou answer me? Are an hundred years, when present, a long time? See
first, whether an hundred years can be present. For if the first of
these years be now current, it is present, but the other ninety and
nine are to come, and therefore are not yet, but if the second year be
current, one is now past, another present, the rest to come. And so if
we assume any middle year of this hundred to be present, all before it,
are past; all after it, to come; wherefore an hundred years cannot be
present. But see at least whether that one which is now current, itself
is present; for if the current month be its first, the rest are to come;
if the second, the first is already past, and the rest are not yet.
Therefore, neither is the year now current present; and if not present
as a whole, then is not the year present. For twelve months are a year;
of which whatever by the current month is present; the rest past, or to
come. Although neither is that current month present; but one day only;
the rest being to come, if it be the first; past, if the last; if any of
the middle, then amid past and to come.
See how the present time, which alone we found could be called long, is
abridged to the length scarce of one day. But let us examine that also;
because neither is one day present as a whole. For it is made up of four
and twenty hours of night and day: of which, the first hath the rest to
come; the last hath them past; and any of the middle hath those before
it past, those behind it to come. Yea, that one hour passeth away in
flying particles. Whatsoever of it hath flown away, is past; whatsoever
remaineth, is to come. If an instant of time be conceived, which cannot
be divided into the smallest particles of moments, that alone is it,
which may be called present. Which yet flies with such speed from future
to past, as not to be lengthened out with the least stay. For if it be,
it is divided into past and future. The present hath no space. Where
then is the time, which we may call long? Is it to come? Of it we do not
say, "it is long"; because it is not yet, so as to be long; but we say,
"it will be long." When therefore will it be? For if even then, when it
is yet to come, it shall not be long (because what can be long, as yet
is not), and so it shall then be long, when from future which as yet is
not, it shall begin now to be, and have become present, that so there
should exist what may be long; then does time present cry out in the
words above, that it cannot be long.
And yet, Lord, we perceive intervals of times, and compare them, and
say, some are shorter, and others longer. We measure also, how much
longer or shorter this time is than that; and we answer, "This is
double, or treble; and that, but once, or only just so much as that."
But we measure times as they are passing, by perceiving them; but past,
which now are not, or the future, which are not yet, who can measure?
unless a man shall presume to say, that can be measured, which is not.
When then time is passing, it may be perceived and measured; but when it
is past, it cannot, because it is not.
I ask, Father, I affirm not: O my God, rule and guide me. "Who will tell
me that there are not three times (as we learned when boys, and taught
boys), past, present, and future; but present only, because those two
are not? Or are they also; and when from future it becometh present,
doth it come out of some secret place; and so, when retiring, from
present it becometh past? For where did they, who foretold things to
come, see them, if as yet they be not? For that which is not, cannot be
seen. And they who relate things past, could not relate them, if in mind
they did not discern them, and if they were not, they could no way be
discerned. Things then past and to come, are."
Permit me, Lord, to seek further. O my hope, let not my purpose be
confounded. For if times past and to come be, I would know where they
be. Which yet if I cannot, yet I know, wherever they be, they are not
there as future, or past, but present. For if there also they be future,
they are not yet there; if there also they be past, they are no longer
there. Wheresoever then is whatsoever is, it is only as present.
Although when past facts are related, there are drawn out of the memory,
not the things themselves which are past, but words which, conceived by
the images of the things, they, in passing, have through the senses left
as traces in the mind. Thus my childhood, which now is not, is in time
past, which now is not: but now when I recall its image, and tell of it,
I behold it in the present, because it is still in my memory. Whether
there be a like cause of foretelling things to come also; that of
things which as yet are not, the images may be perceived before, already
existing, I confess, O my God, I know not. This indeed I know, that we
generally think before on our future actions, and that that forethinking
is present, but the action whereof we forethink is not yet, because it
is to come. Which, when we have set upon, and have begun to do what
we were forethinking, then shall that action be; because then it is no
longer future, but present.
Which way soever then this secret fore-perceiving of things to come be;
that only can be seen, which is. But what now is, is not future,
but present. When then things to come are said to be seen, it is not
themselves which as yet are not (that is, which are to be), but their
causes perchance or signs are seen, which already are. Therefore they
are not future but present to those who now see that, from which
the future, being foreconceived in the mind, is foretold. Which
fore-conceptions again now are; and those who foretell those things, do
behold the conceptions present before them. Let now the numerous variety
of things furnish me some example. I behold the day-break, I foreshow,
that the sun, is about to rise. What I behold, is present; what I
foresignify, to come; not the sun, which already is; but the sun-rising,
which is not yet. And yet did I not in my mind imagine the sun-rising
itself (as now while I speak of it), I could not foretell it. But
neither is that day-break which I discern in the sky, the sun-rising,
although it goes before it; nor that imagination of my mind; which two
are seen now present, that the other which is to be may be foretold.
Future things then are not yet: and if they be not yet, they are not:
and if they are not, they cannot be seen; yet foretold they may be from
things present, which are already, and are seen.
Thou then, Ruler of Thy creation, by what way dost Thou teach souls
things to come? For Thou didst teach Thy Prophets. By what way dost
Thou, to whom nothing is to come, teach things to come; or rather of the
future, dost teach things present? For, what is not, neither can it be
taught. Too far is this way of my ken: it is too mighty for me, I cannot
attain unto it; but from Thee I can, when Thou shalt vouchsafe it, O
sweet light of my hidden eyes.
What now is clear and plain is, that neither things to come nor past
are. Nor is it properly said, "there be three times, past, present,
and to come": yet perchance it might be properly said, "there be three
times; a present of things past, a present of things present, and a
present of things future." For these three do exist in some sort, in the
soul, but otherwhere do I not see them; present of things past, memory;
present of things present, sight; present of things future, expectation.
If thus we be permitted to speak, I see three times, and I confess there
are three. Let it be said too, "there be three times, past, present, and
to come": in our incorrect way. See, I object not, nor gainsay, nor find
fault, if what is so said be but understood, that neither what is to be,
now is, nor what is past. For but few things are there, which we
speak properly, most things improperly; still the things intended are
understood.
I said then even now, we measure times as they pass, in order to be able
to say, this time is twice so much as that one; or, this is just so
much as that; and so of any other parts of time, which be measurable.
Wherefore, as I said, we measure times as they pass. And if any should
ask me, "How knowest thou?" I might answer, "I know, that we do measure,
nor can we measure things that are not; and things past and to come, are
not." But time present how do we measure, seeing it hath no space? It
is measured while passing, but when it shall have passed, it is not
measured; for there will be nothing to be measured. But whence, by what
way, and whither passes it while it is a measuring? whence, but from the
future? Which way, but through the present? whither, but into the past?
From that therefore, which is not yet, through that, which hath no
space, into that, which now is not. Yet what do we measure, if not time
in some space? For we do not say, single, and double, and triple, and
equal, or any other like way that we speak of time, except of spaces
of times. In what space then do we measure time passing? In the future,
whence it passeth through? But what is not yet, we measure not. Or in
the present, by which it passes? but no space, we do not measure: or in
the past, to which it passes? But neither do we measure that, which now
is not.
My soul is on fire to know this most intricate enigma. Shut it not up, O
Lord my God, good Father; through Christ I beseech Thee, do not shut up
these usual, yet hidden things, from my desire, that it be hindered from
piercing into them; but let them dawn through Thy enlightening mercy, O
Lord. Whom shall I enquire of concerning these things? and to whom shall
I more fruitfully confess my ignorance, than to Thee, to Whom these
my studies, so vehemently kindled toward Thy Scriptures, are not
troublesome? Give what I love; for I do love, and this hast Thou
given me. Give, Father, Who truly knowest to give good gifts unto Thy
children. Give, because I have taken upon me to know, and trouble is
before me until Thou openest it. By Christ I beseech Thee, in His Name,
Holy of holies, let no man disturb me. For I believed, and therefore do
I speak. This is my hope, for this do I live, that I may contemplate the
delights of the Lord. Behold, Thou hast made my days old, and they pass
away, and how, I know not. And we talk of time, and time, and times, and
times, "How long time is it since he said this"; "how long time since he
did this"; and "how long time since I saw that"; and "this syllable hath
double time to that single short syllable." These words we speak, and
these we hear, and are understood, and understand. Most manifest and
ordinary they are, and the self-same things again are but too deeply
hidden, and the discovery of them were new.
I heard once from a learned man, that the motions of the sun, moon,
and stars, constituted time, and I assented not. For why should not
the motions of all bodies rather be times? Or, if the lights of heaven
should cease, and a potter's wheel run round, should there be no time
by which we might measure those whirlings, and say, that either it
moved with equal pauses, or if it turned sometimes slower, otherwhiles
quicker, that some rounds were longer, other shorter? Or, while we were
saying this, should we not also be speaking in time? Or, should there
in our words be some syllables short, others long, but because those
sounded in a shorter time, these in a longer? God, grant to men to see
in a small thing notices common to things great and small. The stars and
lights of heaven, are also for signs, and for seasons, and for years,
and for days; they are; yet neither should I say, that the going round
of that wooden wheel was a day, nor yet he, that it was therefore no
time.
I desire to know the force and nature of time, by which we measure the
motions of bodies, and say (for example) this motion is twice as long as
that. For I ask, Seeing "day" denotes not the stay only of the sun upon
the earth (according to which day is one thing, night another); but also
its whole circuit from east to east again; according to which we say,
"there passed so many days," the night being included when we say, "so
many days," and the nights not reckoned apart;--seeing then a day is
completed by the motion of the sun and by his circuit from east to east
again, I ask, does the motion alone make the day, or the stay in which
that motion is completed, or both? For if the first be the day; then
should we have a day, although the sun should finish that course in so
small a space of time, as one hour comes to. If the second, then should
not that make a day, if between one sun-rise and another there were
but so short a stay, as one hour comes to; but the sun must go four and
twenty times about, to complete one day. If both, then neither could
that be called a day; if the sun should run his whole round in the
space of one hour; nor that, if, while the sun stood still, so much
time should overpass, as the sun usually makes his whole course in, from
morning to morning. I will not therefore now ask, what that is which is
called day; but, what time is, whereby we, measuring the circuit of the
sun, should say that it was finished in half the time it was wont, if
so be it was finished in so small a space as twelve hours; and comparing
both times, should call this a single time, that a double time; even
supposing the sun to run his round from east to east, sometimes in that
single, sometimes in that double time. Let no man then tell me, that the
motions of the heavenly bodies constitute times, because, when at
the prayer of one, the sun had stood still, till he could achieve his
victorious battle, the sun stood still, but time went on. For in its own
allotted space of time was that battle waged and ended. I perceive
time then to be a certain extension. But do I perceive it, or seem to
perceive it? Thou, Light and Truth, wilt show me.
Dost Thou bid me assent, if any define time to be "motion of a body?"
Thou dost not bid me. For that no body is moved, but in time, I hear;
this Thou sayest; but that the motion of a body is time, I hear not;
Thou sayest it not. For when a body is moved, I by time measure, how
long it moveth, from the time it began to move until it left off? And if
I did not see whence it began; and it continue to move so that I see not
when it ends, I cannot measure, save perchance from the time I began,
until I cease to see. And if I look long, I can only pronounce it to be
a long time, but not how long; because when we say "how long," we do
it by comparison; as, "this is as long as that," or "twice so long as
that," or the like. But when we can mark the distances of the places,
whence and whither goeth the body moved, or his parts, if it moved as in
a lathe, then can we say precisely, in how much time the motion of
that body or his part, from this place unto that, was finished. Seeing
therefore the motion of a body is one thing, that by which we measure
how long it is, another; who sees not, which of the two is rather to
be called time? For and if a body be sometimes moved, sometimes stands
still, then we measure, not his motion only, but his standing still too
by time; and we say, "it stood still, as much as it moved"; or "it stood
still twice or thrice so long as it moved"; or any other space which our
measuring hath either ascertained, or guessed; more or less, as we use
to say. Time then is not the motion of a body.
And I confess to Thee, O Lord, that I yet know not what time is, and
again I confess unto Thee, O Lord, that I know that I speak this in
time, and that having long spoken of time, that very "long" is not long,
but by the pause of time. How then know I this, seeing I know not what
time is? or is it perchance that I know not how to express what I know?
Woe is me, that do not even know, what I know not. Behold, O my God,
before Thee I lie not; but as I speak, so is my heart. Thou shalt light
my candle; Thou, O Lord my God, wilt enlighten my darkness.
Does not my soul most truly confess unto Thee, that I do measure times?
Do I then measure, O my God, and know not what I measure? I measure the
motion of a body in time; and the time itself do I not measure? Or could
I indeed measure the motion of a body how long it were, and in how long
space it could come from this place to that, without measuring the time
in which it is moved? This same time then, how do I measure? do we by a
shorter time measure a longer, as by the space of a cubit, the space
of a rood? for so indeed we seem by the space of a short syllable, to
measure the space of a long syllable, and to say that this is double
the other. Thus measure we the spaces of stanzas, by the spaces of the
verses, and the spaces of the verses, by the spaces of the feet, and the
spaces of the feet, by the spaces of the syllables, and the spaces of
long, by the space of short syllables; not measuring by pages (for then
we measure spaces, not times); but when we utter the words and they pass
by, and we say "it is a long stanza, because composed of so many verses;
long verses, because consisting of so many feet; long feet, because
prolonged by so many syllables; a long syllable because double to a
short one." But neither do we this way obtain any certain measure of
time; because it may be, that a shorter verse, pronounced more fully,
may take up more time than a longer, pronounced hurriedly. And so for a
verse, a foot, a syllable. Whence it seemed to me, that time is nothing
else than protraction; but of what, I know not; and I marvel, if it
be not of the mind itself? For what, I beseech Thee, O my God, do I
measure, when I say, either indefinitely "this is a longer time than
that," or definitely "this is double that"? That I measure time, I know;
and yet I measure not time to come, for it is not yet; nor present,
because it is not protracted by any space; nor past, because it now is
not. What then do I measure? Times passing, not past? for so I said.
Courage, my mind, and press on mightily. God is our helper, He made us,
and not we ourselves. Press on where truth begins to dawn. Suppose, now,
the voice of a body begins to sound, and does sound, and sounds on, and
list, it ceases; it is silence now, and that voice is past, and is
no more a voice. Before it sounded, it was to come, and could not be
measured, because as yet it was not, and now it cannot, because it is
no longer. Then therefore while it sounded, it might; because there then
was what might be measured. But yet even then it was not at a stay; for
it was passing on, and passing away. Could it be measured the rather,
for that? For while passing, it was being extended into some space of
time, so that it might be measured, since the present hath no space. If
therefore then it might, then, lo, suppose another voice hath begun
to sound, and still soundeth in one continued tenor without any
interruption; let us measure it while it sounds; seeing when it hath
left sounding, it will then be past, and nothing left to be measured;
let us measure it verily, and tell how much it is. But it sounds still,
nor can it be measured but from the instant it began in, unto the end
it left in. For the very space between is the thing we measure, namely,
from some beginning unto some end. Wherefore, a voice that is not yet
ended, cannot be measured, so that it may be said how long, or short it
is; nor can it be called equal to another, or double to a single, or the
like. But when ended, it no longer is. How may it then be measured? And
yet we measure times; but yet neither those which are not yet, nor those
which no longer are, nor those which are not lengthened out by some
pause, nor those which have no bounds. We measure neither times to come,
nor past, nor present, nor passing; and yet we do measure times.
"Deus Creator omnium," this verse of eight syllables alternates between
short and long syllables. The four short then, the first, third, fifth,
and seventh, are but single, in respect of the four long, the second,
fourth, sixth, and eighth. Every one of these to every one of those,
hath a double time: I pronounce them, report on them, and find it so,
as one's plain sense perceives. By plain sense then, I measure a long
syllable by a short, and I sensibly find it to have twice so much; but
when one sounds after the other, if the former be short, the latter
long, how shall I detain the short one, and how, measuring, shall I
apply it to the long, that I may find this to have twice so much; seeing
the long does not begin to sound, unless the short leaves sounding? And
that very long one do I measure as present, seeing I measure it not
till it be ended? Now his ending is his passing away. What then is it I
measure? where is the short syllable by which I measure? where the long
which I measure? Both have sounded, have flown, passed away, are no
more; and yet I measure, and confidently answer (so far as is presumed
on a practised sense) that as to space of time this syllable is but
single, that double. And yet I could not do this, unless they were
already past and ended. It is not then themselves, which now are not,
that I measure, but something in my memory, which there remains fixed.
It is in thee, my mind, that I measure times. Interrupt me not, that
is, interrupt not thyself with the tumults of thy impressions. In thee
I measure times; the impression, which things as they pass by cause in
thee, remains even when they are gone; this it is which still present,
I measure, not the things which pass by to make this impression. This
I measure, when I measure times. Either then this is time, or I do not
measure times. What when we measure silence, and say that this silence
hath held as long time as did that voice? do we not stretch out our
thought to the measure of a voice, as if it sounded, that so we may be
able to report of the intervals of silence in a given space of time? For
though both voice and tongue be still, yet in thought we go over poems,
and verses, and any other discourse, or dimensions of motions, and
report as to the spaces of times, how much this is in respect of that,
no otherwise than if vocally we did pronounce them. If a man would utter
a lengthened sound, and had settled in thought how long it should be, he
hath in silence already gone through a space of time, and committing
it to memory, begins to utter that speech, which sounds on, until it be
brought unto the end proposed. Yea it hath sounded, and will sound; for
so much of it as is finished, hath sounded already, and the rest will
sound. And thus passeth it on, until the present intent conveys over
the future into the past; the past increasing by the diminution of the
future, until by the consumption of the future, all is past.
But how is that future diminished or consumed, which as yet is not? or
how that past increased, which is now no longer, save that in the mind
which enacteth this, there be three things done? For it expects, it
considers, it remembers; that so that which it expecteth, through
that which it considereth, passeth into that which it remembereth. Who
therefore denieth, that things to come are not as yet? and yet, there is
in the mind an expectation of things to come. And who denies past things
to be now no longer? and yet is there still in the mind a memory of
things past. And who denieth the present time hath no space, because it
passeth away in a moment? and yet our consideration continueth, through
which that which shall be present proceedeth to become absent. It is not
then future time, that is long, for as yet it is not: but a long future,
is "a long expectation of the future," nor is it time past, which now is
not, that is long; but a long past, is "a long memory of the past."
I am about to repeat a Psalm that I know. Before I begin, my expectation
is extended over the whole; but when I have begun, how much soever of
it I shall separate off into the past, is extended along my memory; thus
the life of this action of mine is divided between my memory as to what
I have repeated, and expectation as to what I am about to repeat; but
"consideration" is present with me, that through it what was future, may
be conveyed over, so as to become past. Which the more it is done again
and again, so much the more the expectation being shortened, is the
memory enlarged: till the whole expectation be at length exhausted, when
that whole action being ended, shall have passed into memory. And this
which takes place in the whole Psalm, the same takes place in each
several portion of it, and each several syllable; the same holds in that
longer action, whereof this Psalm may be part; the same holds in the
whole life of man, whereof all the actions of man are parts; the same
holds through the whole age of the sons of men, whereof all the lives of
men are parts.
But because Thy loving-kindness is better than all lives, behold, my
life is but a distraction, and Thy right hand upheld me, in my Lord the
Son of man, the Mediator betwixt Thee, The One, and us many, many also
through our manifold distractions amid many things, that by Him I may
apprehend in Whom I have been apprehended, and may be re-collected from
my old conversation, to follow The One, forgetting what is behind, and
not distended but extended, not to things which shall be and shall
pass away, but to those things which are before, not distractedly but
intently, I follow on for the prize of my heavenly calling, where I may
hear the voice of Thy praise, and contemplate Thy delights, neither
to come, nor to pass away. But now are my years spent in mourning. And
Thou, O Lord, art my comfort, my Father everlasting, but I have been
severed amid times, whose order I know not; and my thoughts, even
the inmost bowels of my soul, are rent and mangled with tumultuous
varieties, until I flow together into Thee, purified and molten by the
fire of Thy love.
And now will I stand, and become firm in Thee, in my mould, Thy truth;
nor will I endure the questions of men, who by a penal disease thirst
for more than they can contain, and say, "what did God before He made
heaven and earth?" Or, "How came it into His mind to make any thing,
having never before made any thing?" Give them, O Lord, well to
bethink themselves what they say, and to find, that "never" cannot be
predicated, when "time" is not. This then that He is said "never to have
made"; what else is it to say, than "in 'no time' to have made?" Let
them see therefore, that time cannot be without created being, and cease
to speak that vanity. May they also be extended towards those things
which are before; and understand Thee before all times, the eternal
Creator of all times, and that no times be coeternal with Thee, nor any
creature, even if there be any creature before all times.
O Lord my God, what a depth is that recess of Thy mysteries, and how far
from it have the consequences of my transgressions cast me! Heal mine
eyes, that I may share the joy of Thy light. Certainly, if there be mind
gifted with such vast knowledge and foreknowledge, as to know all things
past and to come, as I know one well-known Psalm, truly that mind is
passing wonderful, and fearfully amazing; in that nothing past, nothing
to come in after-ages, is any more hidden from him, than when I sung
that Psalm, was hidden from me what, and how much of it had passed away
from the beginning, what, and how much there remained unto the end. But
far be it that Thou the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of souls
and bodies, far be it, that Thou shouldest in such wise know all things
past and to come. Far, far more wonderfully, and far more mysteriously,
dost Thou know them. For not, as the feelings of one who singeth what he
knoweth, or heareth some well-known song, are through expectation of the
words to come, and the remembering of those that are past, varied,
and his senses divided,--not so doth any thing happen unto Thee,
unchangeably eternal, that is, the eternal Creator of minds. Like then
as Thou in the Beginning knewest the heaven and the earth, without any
variety of Thy knowledge, so madest Thou in the Beginning heaven and
earth, without any distraction of Thy action. Whoso understandeth, let
him confess unto Thee; and whoso understandeth not, let him confess
unto Thee. Oh how high art Thou, and yet the humble in heart are Thy
dwelling-place; for Thou raisest up those that are bowed down, and they
fall not, whose elevation Thou art.
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